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Clips from The Office - Dwight's Speech (S02E02)

"Can we not? No... Yes, we have to. You know why?"
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"In that box, all day long. Heisman!"
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"Because I need to think, okay, Jim? Oh, Kevin!"
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"Ooh!"
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"You all right, Ryan? Ryan?"
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"Yeah."
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"You're so lucky you don't have this problem."
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"Question: Do their pizzas play DVDs?"
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"He wins a little prize money and gets honored at some convention."
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"that a Northeastern Pennsylvania-based mid-sized paper company"
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"regional salesman can attain. So..."
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"What did I do to deserve this?"
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"Oh, I... Yeah."
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"I'll show them to you later."
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"And I have to do it in the office."
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"And that can be kind of awkward."
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"Just because people can get all weird about wedding stuff"
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"Oh, abso-fruitly."
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"Fruit, grapes. Nailed the joke. Matter of time."
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"I just... I miss the feeling of knowing that you did a good job"
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"Sir, you're awesome. Here's a plaque."
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"What, a whole year has gone by and you need more proof?"
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"Thank you, Mr. Blank. Thank you very, very, very..."
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"and salesmen expect to be entertained and you are the main act."
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"the word failure."
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"I can't do this."
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"That's because you're incapable of doing it, because you don't know how,"
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"Dwight, there's no way I can possibly teach you"
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"Okay, deal. I'll do whatever you say, no questions asked."
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"Mom, I'm sorry, I know you and Dad"
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"Hi, yeah, can I talk to one of your travel agents?"
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"I'm gonna get out of town for a while, and go someplace"
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"not here."
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"And one I probably should have thought about before I called you."
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"But I don't care."
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"A saleswoman has a vagina."
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"But I'm right."
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"Hey, do you remember the speeches that you gave?"
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"I do, both of them."
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"Unbelievable. It's great."
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"You see that? You see how they responded to me?"
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"I was just talking. So just go out there and say anything."
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"Go ahead, get the wallpaper. Wallpaper the ceiling if you want..."
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"Excuse me! May I have your attention, please?"
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"Several cars have flipped,"
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"Do we know anyone who was in the accident?"
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"Brad Pitt."
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"Is Brad okay?"
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"What the hell's going on here? Are we out of jobs?"
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"All right, everybody in the conference room now. Let's go. Let's do it!"
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"As your leader and your friend, I sort of demand"
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"and did, twice. You saw the plaque, right?"
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"All right, we're all gonna go around the room,"
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"Yeah, the bride doesn't really do..."
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"Can I go? Yes, good. Jim taking the initiative."
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"So, I am going on a trip."
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"but good second choice."
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"Yeah. For, like, how long?"
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"Jimmy, listen to me, you do not wanna go to Amsterdam, trust me."
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"Oh, God."
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"Okay, you know what, this isn't working,"
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"Yes, you are. I'm assistant regional manager."
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"Which means absolutely nothing."
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"Two years in a row, I killed. It was amazing."
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"I can travel anywhere except Cuba,"
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"and walk The Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor,"
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"Oh, please. You're not taking any trip."
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"Yes. I am."
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"You're supposed to emphasize your point."
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"But I did download speeches from some of history's famous dictators."
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"I'll glance at it."
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"It's time, Dwight, the Grim Reaper is here."
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"Wow. It's a little bit bigger than I remember."
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"You all ready for this?"
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"I am just feeling under the weather,"
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"and I think that I will go home and rest."
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"And until Dwight comes up, if he ever does,"
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"and a saleswoman?"
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"I always set it at 69."
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"Maybe we'll use a D J."
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"but all he's managed to do is set a date."
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"Actually, I don't see ever getting married."
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"Ryan, you should be more sensitive. It's obvious she likes you"
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"and I just thought you were speaking abnormally."
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"a robot."
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"Car starting."
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"which everyone finds during the day,"
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"how long we have been striving for greatness?"
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"but from the moment, as a child,"
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"when we realized that the world could be conquered."
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"Salesmen of Northeastern Pennsylvania, I ask you,"
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"Yeah! Yeah!"
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"Nice. Send me a postcard."
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"Jim eats the same ham and cheese sandwich every day for lunch."
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"I don't know, if I were a betting man, I'd say"
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"he will have a fun weekend in Philadelphia."
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"We must never acquiesce, for it is together..."
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"We must never cede control of the motherland!"
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"For it is..."
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"on his connecting flight to Mordor,"
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"That's awesome. Where are you staying?"
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"When are you leaving?"
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"And I'm really sorry about that. I just..."
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"Yeah, that's too bad."
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"Yeah."
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"All right."
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"It was amazing. I wish you would have been there."
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"because I pegged her at, like, 35."
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"That's the word on the street, anyway."
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"If we ask corporate for that, then..."
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"Think it through! We have to think it through!"
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"Because, if they say no..."
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"'Cause I don't like to be cooped up in that office."
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"Oscar! Intercepted."
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"You guys... Oh, cool."
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"Creed, give me the ball, right now. Give it to me. Ryan."
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"Listen..."
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"All right, hey, Dwight..."
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"Whoa!"
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"Pam!"
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