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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"Ifl did, we'd all be a lot happier!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- What's happening?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Give me that. You'll break it."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, you want to get a job, pay the bills, deal with everyone's problems?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Be my guest. When it all gets too much foryou..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ifthat were a real wish bowl, it would be in the Ferrari..."
American Dad! (2005)
"ofa 600-year-old Incan on the way to his job..."
American Dad! (2005)
"I might as well giveyou a conjugal visit."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan, how long areyou and Roger gonna keep up this ridiculous swap?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Until he appreciates how hard it is to be me!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Trust me, by the end ofthe day, he'll be a nervous wreck."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ta-da! How do I look?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Employable? Or very employable?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Is that my pantsuit? - Yeah. It's a little drab..."
American Dad! (2005)
"but I "shuzzed" it up with a white belt."
American Dad! (2005)
"- I burn for her. - Hey, I'm the man ofthe house now. I'll helpya."
American Dad! (2005)
"Got it! Rah-rahs like hunkyjocks, right?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Just do some pushups! She'll be all overya, Tiger."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Great idea, Roger! - Down low. Too slow."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Poor kid. Never really had a father."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Write it down. - Hayley, I said no monkeys!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm gonna build a habitat in the basement."
American Dad! (2005)
"In six weeks, we'll have the best all-monkey production of Cats you've ever seen."
American Dad! (2005)
"Welcome back to The $100,000 Pyramid."
American Dad! (2005)
"David Faustino, you're in the Winner's Circle. Go!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Uh, I ruined my marriage for a quick fling."
American Dad! (2005)
"Uh- Oh, "Please, Tom Hanks, I'm begging you."
American Dad! (2005)
"Things you eat. Things that are fruit."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh! Oh! Oh! Things you peel! Aha!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Thanks for the job, Mr. Fusfeld."
American Dad! (2005)
"You're gonna be a great car salesman, Roger."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Knock 'em dead."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm part of a workplace ensemble. I bet he's the sarcastic guy..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hello."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You're the slut. I'm the new guy. - Hey, new guy."
American Dad! (2005)
"Planning to foil me, areya? Game on!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Get in myway and I'll buryyou."
American Dad! (2005)
"Roger, right? I'm Philip. I seeyou've met Maria."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, we're all guys here, I'll say it: Cuckoo-head."
American Dad! (2005)
"- What was she talkin' about? - Whoever sells the most cars by Friday..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Don't getyour hopes up. Maria always wins. And she's ruthless."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Be careful around her, pal. - What a nice guy."
American Dad! (2005)
"Okay, uh, uh- I like it when you place your documents face down."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Come on! That was an easy one. - That was mywhole day."
American Dad! (2005)
"Honey, I'm home!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- How was your first day on the job? - Great!"
American Dad! (2005)
"When I win my sales contest, I'm taking us all to Hawaii!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Roger, I tookyour advice and did some pushups."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Check out my guns. - Oh, my God, Steve."
American Dad! (2005)
"Okay, truth time. Areyou on steroids?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Time for Phase Two. After dinner, we'll take some sexy pictures..."
American Dad! (2005)
"and you can slip 'em in Carly's locker."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Show her the newyou. - But, Roger, you promised to help me pick out sofa fabrics."
American Dad! (2005)
"No prob. I can do it all. Unlike some people."
American Dad! (2005)
"Things that should buck up! Things thatwill be proven right in the end."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, things that are just kidding themselves."
American Dad! (2005)
"Things that are useless. Things that are getting soft."
American Dad! (2005)
"Things that are stupid, dumb stupid-heads."
American Dad! (2005)
"Things that miss being needed."
American Dad! (2005)
"Things that need morewine to make the pain go away!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Roger'sjoined by Hawaiian celebrities Magnum, P.I., and Greg Brady!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Roger, Roger, Roger, Roger-"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Roger! Wake up, damn it! - U h, huh? What?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- You can't sell cars in your sleep, boy. - I'm sorry."
American Dad! (2005)
"I was up late last night, helping my familywith-"
American Dad! (2005)
"You haven't sold a single car yet!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Whywould you go out ofyourway to help me? - I'm sick of Maria winning."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ifshe loses that contest to me, it'll hurt her."
American Dad! (2005)
"But ifshe loses to you, thatwill destroy her."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'vewaited mywhole life to do this."
American Dad! (2005)
"The finger pyramid of evil contemplation."
American Dad! (2005)
"Feels good."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Mornin'. - Stan, you don't look so good."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, ow! Ow, Francine. Ow!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, if Roger can take it, so can I."
American Dad! (2005)
"Did you get those Pecan Sandies I asked for?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Hey, have you been up all night? - God, is it morning already?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I haven't even cracked my S.U.V. manual."
American Dad! (2005)
"Wait! Wait, where's my S.U.V. manual?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I need to order the paint for the study today."
American Dad! (2005)
"Did you want to go with "Blue Morning," or "Golden Wood"?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Little busy here! S.U.V., S.U.V., S.U.V."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Aah, my manual!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Haveyou been to the basement lately? - Some of us work for a living."
American Dad! (2005)
"They've been huffing paint thinner and having sex all night."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's like an 8th-grade house party down there."
American Dad! (2005)
"God, my animal rights group is gonna think I'm a total flake!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Roger, ifyou could just- - Not now!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Yes, now. I already hired the painters."
American Dad! (2005)
""Blue Morning," or "Golden Wood.""
American Dad! (2005)
"Morning. Wood. Morning. Wood. Morning-"
American Dad! (2005)
"These Chocodiles, oh, my God."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh! I'm so sorry!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan? Oh, God. Francine, he can't know about this."
American Dad! (2005)
"He'll kill me. Just tell him you walked into a door."
American Dad! (2005)
"He'll never buy that. God, I look awful."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's from the Estée Lauder "It Never Happened" collection."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hi, Francine! Francine, how's it goin'?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, screw it!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, Linda. Hey, when'd you get those?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, hello, Linda. - My God! What happened toyour eye?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- I, uh- - Please!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Walked into a door. - Ha! Gotta watch out for those doors, Francine."
American Dad! (2005)
"- They're gonna get ya. - Aah!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, I just came to borrow some sugar..."
American Dad! (2005)
"so I'll get some... sugar."
American Dad! (2005)
"- What was that about? - Who knows? She's a weird chick."
American Dad! (2005)
"Okay. Super good time fun. Domo arigato."
American Dad! (2005)
"Another sale? Wow, Maria doesn't have a prayer."
American Dad! (2005)
"File this contract for me, will ya?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- What doyou bet this "domestic abuse" call turns out bogus?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Can I helpyou?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- How'd you get that shiner, Mrs. S? - It's not whatyou think."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan, can I talk toyou? Excuse us!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Look at these. No way this kid's 1 8."
American Dad! (2005)
"- I 'll kill him! - You can't leave! You're still under house arr-"
American Dad! (2005)
"I deserved it, for leaving the mop out."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Kiss my ass, pigs!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Listen up, everyone."
American Dad! (2005)
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