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Clips from Peep Show - The Man Show (S02E02)

"Yeah. 'Hey, I'm really good at this without realising how. This is ideal.'"
Peep Show
"So we're all gonna be great mates. We could pile back to yours and Sophie's?"
Peep Show
"Bit late for you. What do you play? Seven-card stud? Texas Holdem?"
Peep Show
"Or stay here and play something else."
Peep Show
"'It's a relief. Tell me your dreams, memories and reflections, Jeff."
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"'Time to cut out the middleman.'"
Peep Show
"- Hey, Soph. - Oh, hey, Mark."
Peep Show
"I was talking to Alan about Rod from Shapiro Finance."
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"Sure. We could, but..."
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"It is for charity, but I could tell Alan you're not into it."
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"Let's brainstorm later. Sorry, Soph."
Peep Show
"Jeremy, you can't just pop in cos you're bored. I'll be home in an hour."
Peep Show
"Why don't you kill some time at Caesar's World?"
Peep Show
"Actually, I've come to see Jeff."
Peep Show
"I appreciate what you're doing, but the Jeff project's been abandoned."
Peep Show
"You're going out with him for fun?"
Peep Show
"Yeah. Jeff's a really good guy."
Peep Show
"or when it's his round and you ask him for an extra bag of nuts. He's a real man."
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"'Sponsored bungee."
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"Yeah. Sorry about the big panic."
Peep Show
"'She bought it. "Ooh, I'm so scared."'"
Peep Show
"I feel better doing a tandem jump."
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"'I'm strapped on. If I get a bonk on, I'll say it's a buckle."
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"'Be too much to think about anyway,"
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"'what with falling towards the ground with only a massive rubber band between me and..."
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"'What the fuck am I doing?!"
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"'All my normal sensible cowardice has been overridden by stupid love! '"
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"- Oh, God. - You all right, Mark?"
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"I think I'm actually very hungry. Let's not jump and just have lunch."
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"I'm genuinely really, really hungry, too hungry to jump!"
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"Looks like we got ourselves a Humpty."
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"It's too late to back out. Stay calm."
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"I'm not his girlfriend."
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"Stop calling me Humpty!"
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"Do I just undo it?"
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"I don't think we should be doing this."
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"It feels dishonest."
Peep Show
"Wake up. You think no-one mimed at Live Aid? The ends always justify the means."
Peep Show
"Doesn't it prick your conscience?"
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"It was a long way down. Most people would be scared to even go up there."
Peep Show
"Most people wouldn't volunteer for a charity bungee jump."
Peep Show
"Two weeks in Peru and we can stick it to arthritis."
Peep Show
"'I've entered the abyss."
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"I'm off to five-a-side with Jeff. Can I take a couple of Garfields as shinpa... Jesus Christ!"
Peep Show
"Jez, don't worry. I'm not actually cutting myself."
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"I just need to convince Sophie I'm desperate and I need some evidence."
Peep Show
"That's why you're cutting yourself?"
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"I'm not actually cutting myself. It's for evidence."
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"Blood is coming out of your arm. For fuck's sake, stop it!"
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"Let me finish the S."
Peep Show
"'OK, come on. You can do this."
Peep Show
"Not bad. You?"
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"- You what? - I certainly wouldn't mind... giving him one."
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"There's no need to spread it around. But yes, those are the facts."
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"Sexuality is a broad spectrum and..."
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"That's right. I have gone somewhat, in fact almost entirely, gay."
Peep Show
"Yeah, well, now I've gone gay,"
Peep Show
"would it be all right if I came over to see Sophie now and again?"
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"It's fine by me."
Peep Show
"You could have your cock in her and still not have the balls to fuck."
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"Thanks."
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"See you later, Jeff."
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"'Blood boiling, anger rising up, ready to explode..."
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"'Then falling back in on myself in the familiar shower of self-loathing."
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"You sure this is OK?"
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"It's fine."
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"All right, Jez."
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"Hi. Thought I'd pop over, since that's cool."
Peep Show
"Soph, let's cook for these guys while they're in the pub. I've got wine."
Peep Show
"I don't know."
Peep Show
"You were moaning about getting left on your own again."
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"So basically, man is programmed to do two things - kill and knob."
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"In the Stone Age, you'd get up, kill an antelope..."
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"And knob the corpse."
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"Aye-aye. A couple of high-street honeys at three o'clock."
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"'God, this is so butch! If I was with Mark we'd just be sitting in the corner rating the alcopops.'"
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"What, really? What about Nancy? Or Sophie?"
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"Jez! We're not gonna do anything. We're just going over."
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"- How long is Das Boot, exactly? - Four and half solid entertainment hours."
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"and it seems he doesn't mind me being round here at all."
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"I don't want to go into that now."
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"No, not because of feelings. Just simplicity."
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"'Ha, got my emotional meathook in. Now time to waggle it around.'"
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"Yeah. Well, history's history."
Peep Show
"But new volumes keep being published."
Peep Show
"Yeah, right"
Peep Show
"'My moves are nothing, are they? '"
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"- Oh, are they in a submarine? - Yes, they're in a submarine."
Peep Show
"All right? Sorry I'm a bit late."
Peep Show
"Come on, gorgeous. Let's get you to bed."
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"Jeff, we're watching a film."
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"It's nearly finished anyway, right?"
Peep Show
"Sure. No problem."
Peep Show
"You can... let yourself out, yeah?"
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"'You're a bottler, Corrigan. You couldn't bungee, you wouldn't lunge."
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"Jeff."
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"You want me to... No, I don't think so, Jeff."
Peep Show
"Do you have a problem with that?"
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"Why would I have a problem? I'm just a mate round seeing a couple of mates."
Peep Show
"'Wish I'd told him to fuck off except then I'd never be allowed back."
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"'I win... in the most minor way possible.'"
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"I was gonna twat this geezer and it turns out they're both Polish."
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"Were you playing the Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels video game?"
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"Did Jeff fart in a pint?"
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"No, much better than that. But I can't tell you."
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"Go on. You can tell me."
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"No, I can't. I really can't."
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"All right. If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone. On your mum's life."
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"OK. Basically, Jeff... he... not really, but a bit..."
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"He..."
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"Oh, my God!"
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"I've hit the mother lode! I've been waiting for this! I can really fuck him with this!"
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"No. I only told you for a laugh. It's all a great big laugh. You promised not to tell."
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"Hitler promised not to invade Czechoslovakia. Welcome to the real world."
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"What about your mum's life?"
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"What about it? What are you gonna do, kill her?"
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"Please don't. Jeff's my mate. We've got a bond."
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"You don't have to ask that, Mark. That's obvious."
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"'Didn't actually have to say. Don't even have to decide in my own head."
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"'No, I don't think I'm going to. My brain can't make me. So there.'"
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