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Clips from King of the Hill - Shins of the Father (S01E01)

"Hey there, Mr. Quarterback."
King of the Hill
"[Shuddering]"
King of the Hill
"[Mild chuckle]"
King of the Hill
"PEGGY: How's it coming with the car, grease monkey?"
King of the Hill
"Look what I found."
King of the Hill
"In Cotton's room, wrapped in his little bitty pants under a big pile of lies."
King of the Hill
"Damn it! I killed a whole day fixing that car."
King of the Hill
"Your father disfigured his own automobile..."
King of the Hill
"just so he could stay here and drive me crazy."
King of the Hill
"Peggy, the poor guy just wants to spend time with us."
King of the Hill
"You're right. It's my fault."
King of the Hill
"What's the point in arguing? The car is fixed now."
King of the Hill
"You want me to wash it with the darks?"
King of the Hill
"Do I have an assignment for you."
King of the Hill
"ANGELS: Good morning, Charlie."
King of the Hill
"It's a Shelley Hack!"
King of the Hill
"That's like getting a Shemp!"
King of the Hill
"What in the hell is going on here?"
King of the Hill
"Where are your pants?"
King of the Hill
"A man doesn't have to wear pants around the house if he doesn't want to."
King of the Hill
"What you got them blue jeans on for, Hank?"
King of the Hill
"I guess you'll be wanting to head back right now."
King of the Hill
"HANK: Peggy."
King of the Hill
"Well, maybe we should think about getting back, honey."
King of the Hill
"What did you say? What did you say?"
King of the Hill
"We can leave! Hank fixed the car!"
King of the Hill
"[Laughing]"
King of the Hill
"Oh, that's a good one, Hank's wife."
King of the Hill
"A woman fixing a car."
King of the Hill
"That's like a pig trying to read."
King of the Hill
"Well, I guess you can go home now, Dad."
King of the Hill
"No, I don't think so."
King of the Hill
"We're gonna stick around a few more days."
King of the Hill
"DEE DEE: Suppertime, Colonel."
King of the Hill
"Go on. Get me my beer, woman."
King of the Hill
"Mom, I'll take my dinner in here, too."
King of the Hill
"Bobby, you will not. We eat our dinner in the kitchen."
King of the Hill
"Boy wants his dinner in here."
King of the Hill
"Well, we eat in the kitchen."
King of the Hill
"- Here! - Kitchen!"
King of the Hill
"Hank, for God's sake, I need a little support here."
King of the Hill
"Well, Peggy..."
King of the Hill
"in front of the TV."
King of the Hill
"Go on, woman, get me my dinner."
King of the Hill
"I'll tell you where he got the idea. Your father."
King of the Hill
"What do you want me to do? I can't change my father."
King of the Hill
"You're both men. You're both peacocks. Remember?"
King of the Hill
"What, are you turning into some kind of feminist?"
King of the Hill
"I am Peggy Hill, a citizen of the Republic of Texas."
King of the Hill
"I work hard, I sweat hard, and I love hard."
King of the Hill
"So I comb my hair, I reapply lipstick 30 times a day."
King of the Hill
"I do your dishes, I wash your clothes, and I clean the house."
King of the Hill
"but because of a mutual, unspoken agreement..."
King of the Hill
"Thirty times a day?"
King of the Hill
"What kind of work can a guy get in this town?"
King of the Hill
"- Are you allergic to asbestos? - Hell, no."
King of the Hill
"Hey, it if ain't the old grease monkey."
King of the Hill
"All right, Dad, I need to talk to you about some of the things..."
King of the Hill
"you've been telling Bobby."
King of the Hill
"I told him how I lost my shins defending our country."
King of the Hill
"- You want to hear that story, fatty? - Sir, yes, sir!"
King of the Hill
"HANK: Bill, I'm trying to talk to my..."
King of the Hill
"I was 14. Just a little older than Bobby."
King of the Hill
"But I knew Uncle Sam needed me. So I lied and signed up."
King of the Hill
"Then they shipped us to the Pacific Theater."
King of the Hill
"A Tojo torpedo sent our troop ship to the bottom."
King of the Hill
"I could only save three of my buddies."
King of the Hill
"Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn."
King of the Hill
"They were like you fellows, only one of them was from Brooklyn."
King of the Hill
"The blood attracted sharks."
King of the Hill
"Then things took a turn for the worse."
King of the Hill
"I made it to an island."
King of the Hill
"But it was full of Tojos!"
King of the Hill
"They were spitting on the US flag."
King of the Hill
"They opened fire and blew my shins off."
King of the Hill
"Last thing I remember, I beat them all to death with a big piece of Fatty."
King of the Hill
"I woke up in a field hospital."
King of the Hill
"And they were sewing my feet to my knees."
King of the Hill
"[Sighs]"
King of the Hill
"BOBBY: You've had enough cake, Kahny."
King of the Hill
"What are you doing?"
King of the Hill
"A man's gotta tell a woman when to stop eating."
King of the Hill
"You're looking kind of chunky."
King of the Hill
"She's moody. Must be PBS."
King of the Hill
"That's woman's work. Ain't that right, fellas?"
King of the Hill
"Women's work!"
King of the Hill
"Well, she's got a point."
King of the Hill
"But he's a war hero."
King of the Hill
"But he's got no shins."
King of the Hill
"MAN: Uh..."
King of the Hill
"[Phone ringing]"
King of the Hill
"Strickland Propane."
King of the Hill
"Bobby was sent home from school for starting a sexist riot today."
King of the Hill
"What? I'm coming home right now."
King of the Hill
"Well, you're just a little too late..."
King of the Hill
"Go ahead, pick yourself out a live one."
King of the Hill
"A live one what?"
King of the Hill
"Hey, cutie, you got papers?"
King of the Hill
"Bobby, get over here now!"
King of the Hill
"Bobby, you heard your mother. Get over there."
King of the Hill
"What are you saying, Hank?"
King of the Hill
"Are you siding with your woman?"
King of the Hill
"Look at me, son. Look at my shins!"
King of the Hill
"but I'm not a kid anymore."
King of the Hill
"Bobby is my boy."
King of the Hill
"And I won't let him grow up to be a woman-hating old fool."
King of the Hill
"Classy and smart, like Peg."
King of the Hill
"My marriage is a partnership of equals."
King of the Hill
"but there are a lot of other things that I'm supposed to do."
King of the Hill
"But I'm not gonna say what they are, because I'm a gentleman."
King of the Hill
"You're just her puppet."
King of the Hill
"Dee Dee's out in the car. I had her pack up."
King of the Hill
"It's time for you to head home."
King of the Hill
"I never thought I'd see the day when my own son would stop loving me."
King of the Hill
"It's about time!"
King of the Hill
"Love's for sissies!"
King of the Hill
"Ain't that right, you house full of hookers?"
King of the Hill
"But she's a woman. How could she know better than Grandpa?"
King of the Hill
"Well, because she's a lot smarter than him, for one."
King of the Hill
"Your mother's probably got a better head on her shoulders than anybody in Arlen."
King of the Hill
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