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Clips from King of the Hill - Shins of the Father (S01E01)

"[Balloon sputtering]"
King of the Hill
"Mom says he's the devil."
King of the Hill
"How you get "devil" from that is beyond me."
King of the Hill
"The kids are already gonna hate me because you got the wrong bean dip."
King of the Hill
"Wait. What's wrong with your grandpa?"
King of the Hill
"Bobby, if you're gonna fake dial..."
King of the Hill
"[Theme music]"
King of the Hill
"This thing is a hoot."
King of the Hill
"I got a splinter here."
King of the Hill
"Everybody hates you."
King of the Hill
"Nothing."
King of the Hill
"Fat kids are always the funny ones."
King of the Hill
"- Who wants a burger? - Why, I'll take that steak."
King of the Hill
"The hell you say? Did you win World War II?"
King of the Hill
"Yeah, if he finds out you're from Japan, you know..."
King of the Hill
"[Burping] U."
King of the Hill
"[Horn honking]"
King of the Hill
"Where are its legs?"
King of the Hill
"BILL: Me!"
King of the Hill
"Look here, Hank."
King of the Hill
"She is not my mother. Hell, we went to kindergarten together."
King of the Hill
"do you still like..."
King of the Hill
"You got a real gun."
King of the Hill
"Did you see that, Hank? Tell your woman to give him back his gun!"
King of the Hill
"PEGGY: His woman?"
King of the Hill
"COTTON: Kill it, boy."
King of the Hill
"COTTON: Bash it! Bash it!"
King of the Hill
"COTTON: Kill it, boy!"
King of the Hill
"It must be made of kryptonite or something."
King of the Hill
"Oh, I am so sorry your grandpa ruined your birthday, son."
King of the Hill
"PEGGY: Leave him alone. He's a good helper."
King of the Hill
"Put an apron over your new bosom, too."
King of the Hill
"So, Bobby, what you gonna do with your life?"
King of the Hill
"Dad, I don't work at a gas station."
King of the Hill
"PEGGY: Come on! I will fix you a to-go plate."
King of the Hill
"No. Just pop the hood. Hank can fix it in a minute."
King of the Hill
"We'll have to wait till your gas station opens up in the morning."
King of the Hill
"I don't need a bed."
King of the Hill
"I do not want that ill-mannered..."
King of the Hill
"See, he's a big, flamboyant character, like a peacock."
King of the Hill
"More subdued and drab."
King of the Hill
"You just cannot see your father for who he is."
King of the Hill
"Well, Bobby and I both want him to stay."
King of the Hill
"Dad, we'd love it if you stayed."
King of the Hill
"COTTON: What do you say I drive you to school today, Bobby?"
King of the Hill
"Hank, you fixed my car yet?"
King of the Hill
"I see steak."
King of the Hill
"Sausage! Where's my sausage? There's no sausage!"
King of the Hill
"You are welcome to march yourself down to the Safeway."
King of the Hill
"But I have to get ready for work."
King of the Hill
"See, Bobby? Woman works, man loses his sausage."
King of the Hill
"Dad, if you want to drive Bobby to school, use my truck."
King of the Hill
"I'll go rig up your pedal extenders."
King of the Hill
"You're all skin and bones, girlie."
King of the Hill
"I don't want any, Grandpa Hill."
King of the Hill
"- Don't want to get fat. - That's not for you to worry about."
King of the Hill
"It's up to a man to tell you that."
King of the Hill
"Feisty!"
King of the Hill
"Well, you ain't with your daddy today."
King of the Hill
"Go to it."
King of the Hill
"Excuse me, ma'am?"
King of the Hill
"Oh, good, sweet..."
King of the Hill
"How about some samiches?"
King of the Hill
"a woman in Phoenix contracted diabetes."
King of the Hill
"I fixed it, Uncle Hank."
King of the Hill
"[Engine starts]"
King of the Hill
"Not every dad would do something like that to his son."
King of the Hill
"That's real funny, Peg."
King of the Hill
"- I don't understand. - What is to understand?"
King of the Hill
"And you've made it so hard for him, he's afraid to ask."
King of the Hill
"Why didn't I serve that poor man his sausage?"
King of the Hill
"He'll be out of here tonight."
King of the Hill
"Aunt Peg, I found this timing belt in the laundry."
King of the Hill
"CHARLIE: Good morning, Angels."
King of the Hill
"Damn!"
King of the Hill
"We were hot. Took them off."
King of the Hill
"I don't want to take them off."
King of the Hill
"Bobby, take your daddy's pants off."
King of the Hill
"Okay, now, what did you say, baby cakes?"
King of the Hill
"Actually, Luanne fixed it."
King of the Hill
"You forgot my beer."
King of the Hill
"I don't know where you got the idea you could slap your mother's behind."
King of the Hill
"He certainly won't listen to me, now, will he?"
King of the Hill
"I am not a feminist, Hank."
King of the Hill
"I gotta smell good and look pretty while I'm doing it."
King of the Hill
"Not because I have to, Hank..."
King of the Hill
"that I have never brought up, because I am too much of a lady."
King of the Hill
"I've been telling Bobby a lot of things. For example..."
King of the Hill
"Let's go, I gotta see a man about a horse."
King of the Hill
"Bobby, don't forget to bus your tray."
King of the Hill
"She's my wife."
King of the Hill
"because the devil took Bobby off to the Hotel Arlen."
King of the Hill
"Hotel Arlen?"
King of the Hill
"But Grandpa said I could..."
King of the Hill
"Look, Dad, I'm sorry about Fatty and your shins..."
King of the Hill
"Maybe you couldn't handle that, but I can."
King of the Hill
"No, Dad, I'm saying all this because I mean it."
King of the Hill
"Well."
King of the Hill
"WOMAN: Would you listen to that man?"
King of the Hill
"All right, hookers, listen up. I'll be back next year..."
King of the Hill
"so don't be jacking up your prices."
King of the Hill
"Bobby, you gotta try and forget all that gobbledygook..."
King of the Hill
"your grandpa told you."
King of the Hill
"You listen to your mother. She knows best."
King of the Hill
"Peggy's my best friend, son."
King of the Hill
"- Mom? - That's right."
King of the Hill
"You'll do okay. You just have to remember one thing."
King of the Hill
"Women were not put on this earth to serve you and me."
King of the Hill
"Hey, my dad's invitation to the party got returned."
King of the Hill
""Grandpa Cotton Hill, Hell, USA?""
King of the Hill
"Bobby, why did you write this? You know your grandpa lives in Houston."
King of the Hill
"Peggy, how can you tell Bobby that?"
King of the Hill
"I said "evil," Hank."
King of the Hill
"He's got big plastic teeth, he screams all the time..."
King of the Hill
"his legs don't work."
King of the Hill
"He lost his shins defending Texas in World War II."
King of the Hill
"BOBBY: Hi, Grandpa."
King of the Hill
"you gotta hit more than three numbers."
King of the Hill
""Orange you glad I didn't say banana?""
King of the Hill
"This party's boring."
King of the Hill
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