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Clips from King of the Hill - Shins of the Father (S01E01)

"Why you so pissed off for, Peggy Hill?"
King of the Hill
"Oh, nothing. Just Hank's father. He's driving in for the party."
King of the Hill
"he married his 16-year-old nurse."
King of the Hill
"Dee Dee is 39, thank you very much."
King of the Hill
"Although parts of her are much younger."
King of the Hill
"Peggy Hill!"
King of the Hill
"[Growling]"
King of the Hill
"BOBBY: Dad, I'm dying out there."
King of the Hill
"I blew up a balloon with my nose. Nothing."
King of the Hill
"I did this thing."
King of the Hill
"[Yiddish accent] What are you talking about?"
King of the Hill
"BOBBY: That's my closer, Dad."
King of the Hill
"- This rib eye is for my daddy. - Cotton's coming?"
King of the Hill
"If I was you, Kahn, I'd amscray before he gets here."
King of the Hill
"How many times I tell you, stupid?"
King of the Hill
"[Burping] V."
King of the Hill
"Happy birthday, Bobby!"
King of the Hill
"Dad, you crazy son of a gun."
King of the Hill
"Well, you know me. I'm larger than life."
King of the Hill
"What are you looking at, Moe?"
King of the Hill
"A Japanese machine gun blew my shins off in WW II."
King of the Hill
"So what?"
King of the Hill
"- You like that horse, Bobby? - I love it, Grandpa."
King of the Hill
"Well, you can love it for four more hours. It's a rental."
King of the Hill
"All right. Who wants the first ride?"
King of the Hill
"How long have you been here, Cotton? I didn't notice you..."
King of the Hill
"Dee Dee, come on out here, and gab with Hank's wife."
King of the Hill
"What you think of your mama's new ta-tas?"
King of the Hill
"Hey, Hank..."
King of the Hill
"finger-painting?"
King of the Hill
"Everyone thinks your party's cool, Bobby."
King of the Hill
"I'm having fun!"
King of the Hill
"Your wife divorced you."
King of the Hill
"COTTON: Mr. Kahn, I'll have a mai tai."
King of the Hill
"What you think? I work for Hank?"
King of the Hill
"Dad, this here's my new neighbor."
King of the Hill
"He's Japanese."
King of the Hill
"No, he ain't!"
King of the Hill
"He's Laotian. Ain't you, Mr. Kahn?"
King of the Hill
"A Super Squirter!"
King of the Hill
"It ain't no water toy, Mr. Kahn!"
King of the Hill
"It's a genuine Winchester 20-gauge shotgun!"
King of the Hill
"No, and now Peggy Hill has a real gun."
King of the Hill
"Oh, Cotton, I am my own woman. And don't you forget it."
King of the Hill
"Peg, that's just cowboy talk. Come on."
King of the Hill
"Hey, let's go bust open that pinata!"
King of the Hill
"Bash it! Bash it!"
King of the Hill
"COTTON: That's it! PEGGY: Come on, Bobby."
King of the Hill
"Come on."
King of the Hill
"Good Lord, Cotton. You gave him a loaded shotgun?"
King of the Hill
"You don't give a toy without batteries."
King of the Hill
"Come and get your Tootsie Rolls!"
King of the Hill
"He didn't ruin it. He made it fun."
King of the Hill
"COTTON: Bobby, come on over here, boy!"
King of the Hill
"Oh, whatever you say, Hillary."
King of the Hill
"Cotton, I'll do the dishes. I like to."
King of the Hill
"Permission granted!"
King of the Hill
"Don't tell her, but I got them cheap. Both lefties!"
King of the Hill
"I'm working on this bit where I stick a green bean up my nose."
King of the Hill
"Well, now that sounds promising."
King of the Hill
"Hank, Bobby and me have decided he's gonna stick vegetables up his nose."
King of the Hill
"I sell propane and propane accessories."
King of the Hill
"Don't sass me, boy."
King of the Hill
"Dad, you old skunk."
King of the Hill
"Come on, grease monkey! Let's tangle!"
King of the Hill
"PEGGY: All right, Cotton. You're breaking my good dishes."
King of the Hill
"It's time for you to leave!"
King of the Hill
"ALL: Come on."
King of the Hill
"ALL: Bye. PEGGY: Don't worry about the horse."
King of the Hill
"Damn, won't start. I guess I'm not going anywhere."
King of the Hill
"Don't bother, Uncle Hank. I can't hear the solenoid plunger."
King of the Hill
"Thanks a lot, girlie. But the truth is, you're a girl."
King of the Hill
"I'm staying over."
King of the Hill
"I wish you could. But we are all out of beds."
King of the Hill
"I can sleep on the couch, Mom."
King of the Hill
"- That'll be just fine. L... - Excuse me for just a second."
King of the Hill
"foul-mouthed old man to spend another moment in my house."
King of the Hill
"That's why men love him."
King of the Hill
"But women don't like his style, because you all are like the peahen."
King of the Hill
"That means you're outvoted."
King of the Hill
"Oh, yeah? Well, Luanne hates him, too. That means we're even."
King of the Hill
"Well, Jesus loves him. So I win."
King of the Hill
"What does that have to do with..."
King of the Hill
"Well, all righty!"
King of the Hill
"Dee Dee, we're bunking here tonight."
King of the Hill
"Mr. Kahn! My bags!"
King of the Hill
"I just woke up."
King of the Hill
"Just... It's 7:00 a.m."
King of the Hill
"If you were in the army, you could've dug 10 graves by now!"
King of the Hill
"PEGGY: I hope you're all hungry."
King of the Hill
"Yeah, I see bacon, I see ham."
King of the Hill
"Well, Cotton!"
King of the Hill
"but I am just a little too busy living here..."
King of the Hill
"in the latter half of the 20th century."
King of the Hill
"Put some cornpone on them hips."
King of the Hill
"You will never know if you are attractive."
King of the Hill
"Touch me again, and you'll be wearing that corn pone, old man."
King of the Hill
"[Hollering]"
King of the Hill
"You're sure it's okay for me to be out of school today, Grandpa?"
King of the Hill
"Oh, yeah. It's a holiday, isn't it?"
King of the Hill
"It's Angie Dickinson's birthday."
King of the Hill
"Now, why don't you order us some food?"
King of the Hill
"Really? Dad never lets me order."
King of the Hill
"[Clears throat]"
King of the Hill
"Ma'am?"
King of the Hill
"You gotta get her in the moneymaker."
King of the Hill
"Hey, Missy!"
King of the Hill
"[Laughing]"
King of the Hill
"HANK: That's the dangdest thing."
King of the Hill
"I never heard of a solenoid just disappearing before."
King of the Hill
"One day, my cousin woke up, his kidney was gone."
King of the Hill
"At the same time, 500 miles away..."
King of the Hill
"She purrs just like a dang old kitten."
King of the Hill
"My dad sure knows how to take care of his cars."
King of the Hill
"When I was a baby, he had my mama make me a chamois jumpsuit..."
King of the Hill
"and I used to crawl around on the hood and buff it till it shined like Christmas."
King of the Hill
"Your dad, I swear!"
King of the Hill
"Remember that, Hank?"
King of the Hill
"Hank, you won the big game."
King of the Hill
"Now go on, boy. Pick yourself out a live one."
King of the Hill
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