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Clips from Man Seeking Woman - Lizard (S01E01)

"Here, wear this."
Man Seeking Woman
"Hey, what's your deal? Wh-What does that even mean?"
Man Seeking Woman
"Doesn't matter, dude. You read The Game?"
Man Seeking Woman
"You got to give them little trinkets, you got to pinch them... it works."
Man Seeking Woman
"You got to wear a Jamiroquai hat."
Man Seeking Woman
"Well, to be honest, I, uh..."
Man Seeking Woman
"I actually have my own plans this evening."
Man Seeking Woman
"Yeah. Yeah, my sister's setting me up with her friend"
Man Seeking Woman
"Holy shit!"
Man Seeking Woman
"You didn't ask to see a picture?"
Man Seeking Woman
"I talked you up, okay?"
Man Seeking Woman
"- She's so well-read. - Oh, good."
Man Seeking Woman
"- That guy is disgusting. - He's so gross."
Man Seeking Woman
"But this girl tonight, what does she look like?"
Man Seeking Woman
"- Oh, there she is. - What? Oh, no."
Man Seeking Woman
"- Wait, where? - She's right outside."
Man Seeking Woman
"See? She's in the Dumpster."
Man Seeking Woman
"(snorting)"
Man Seeking Woman
"She's that thing across the street in the garbage?"
Man Seeking Woman
"She's right there, see? In the Dumpster."
Man Seeking Woman
"Oh, my God."
Man Seeking Woman
"Something wrong? You said she was from Sweden?"
Man Seeking Woman
"She was born in the Scandinavian forest."
Man Seeking Woman
"- Right. - She moved here last year"
Man Seeking Woman
"so she could run her nonprofit. And live underneath the Wabash Bridge."
Man Seeking Woman
"Does that mean she's a troll?"
Man Seeking Woman
"I'm sorry, is that a problem?"
Man Seeking Woman
"She's drinking antifreeze."
Man Seeking Woman
"Uh, okay, cool."
Man Seeking Woman
"No, I just... I'm saying..."
Man Seeking Woman
"Um... she might not be my type."
Man Seeking Woman
"Joshua, want to have a little look-at-yourself moment?"
Man Seeking Woman
"- Do you go to the gym? - Nope."
Man Seeking Woman
"- Do you have a job? - Yeah, I-I... I'm a temp."
Man Seeking Woman
"- Okay, well, how does that sound to a lady? - If she's a temp, she'll like it."
Man Seeking Woman
"- She keeps barking at strangers... - Josh,"
Man Seeking Woman
"- Why are you crying? - I just really like her, okay?"
Man Seeking Woman
"I think you guys would be cool together."
Man Seeking Woman
"This is a mitzvah you've done. I just, uh..."
Man Seeking Woman
"You're such a good guy."
Man Seeking Woman
"- I love you. - I love you."
Man Seeking Woman
"- Okay? - Thank you so much."
Man Seeking Woman
"I noticed you were, uh, rummaging around in the, uh, garbage, there."
Man Seeking Woman
"I actually have to deal with garbage quite frequently."
Man Seeking Woman
"End of the day, I go around to everybody's desk"
Man Seeking Woman
"Pretty cool."
Man Seeking Woman
"Flower for the lady?"
Man Seeking Woman
"Twelve dollars?!"
Man Seeking Woman
"Here's a flower for you."
Man Seeking Woman
"Mmm."
Man Seeking Woman
"(spits)"
Man Seeking Woman
"I know, I know... roses."
Man Seeking Woman
"You ever seen, uh, Carnivàle?"
Man Seeking Woman
"This is, uh, it's kind of nice."
Man Seeking Woman
"Sort of sitting here, getting to know each other."
Man Seeking Woman
"My friend Mike..."
Man Seeking Woman
"he's just obsessed with these, uh..."
Man Seeking Woman
"these dating apps."
Man Seeking Woman
"Oh, my God, no, no, no. I didn't mean it like that."
Man Seeking Woman
"Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ow... Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"
Man Seeking Woman
"Ow!"
Man Seeking Woman
"(screams)"
Man Seeking Woman
"(growls)"
Man Seeking Woman
"No. No. No. No."
Man Seeking Woman
"Mom, they're so adorable."
Man Seeking Woman
"He's wearing the sweater."
Man Seeking Woman
"No."
Man Seeking Woman
"Please. Oh, for God's sakes."
Man Seeking Woman
"No, it's not."
Man Seeking Woman
"Josh, you're not making a great impression here."
Man Seeking Woman
"Well, I don't care... this is clearly not gonna work."
Man Seeking Woman
"(gasping)"
Man Seeking Woman
"Oh."
Man Seeking Woman
"Uh... I... uh, sorry."
Man Seeking Woman
"I just got out of a long-term relationship."
Man Seeking Woman
"I-I don't know what I'm doing."
Man Seeking Woman
"I... I'm sorry, Liz."
Man Seeking Woman
"I'm not the one that you should apologize to."
Man Seeking Woman
"I'm sorry, Gorbachaka."
Man Seeking Woman
"(snarls)"
Man Seeking Woman
"(sighs)"
Man Seeking Woman
"MIKE: Robert Graham, contrasting cuffs."
Man Seeking Woman
"(distorted, echoing): You will crush gash..."
Man Seeking Woman
"(techno music plays)"
Man Seeking Woman
"- $20 cover. - 20..."
Man Seeking Woman
"Yeah, I'm just at this club, it's really nice."
Man Seeking Woman
"Uh, what's your deal?"
Man Seeking Woman
"Sorry. Excuse me?"
Man Seeking Woman
"Uh, wh-what's your deal?"
Man Seeking Woman
"I'm not the one you should apologize to."
Man Seeking Woman
"He's wearing a Robert Graham shirt, I mean..."
Man Seeking Woman
"I'm sorry, ma'am."
Man Seeking Woman
"Right this way, sweetheart."
Man Seeking Woman
"What... oh, man."
Man Seeking Woman
"- MAN: Joshie. - WOMAN: Hi, Joshie."
Man Seeking Woman
"- JOSH: Hi, Mom. Hi there, Tom. - Ooh, look at that nice shirt."
Man Seeking Woman
"- TOM: Oh, that-that's fantastic. - MOM: That's smart."
Man Seeking Woman
"- Thank you, thank you. I... - When are you coming to visit?"
Man Seeking Woman
"T-Tickets are very expensive this time of year."
Man Seeking Woman
"Well, put it on the Discover Card."
Man Seeking Woman
"I told you, Mom, I'm not-not using the Discover anymore."
Man Seeking Woman
"Why not?"
Man Seeking Woman
"It's pretty pathetic."
Man Seeking Woman
"I'm 27, I should probably have my own credit card by now."
Man Seeking Woman
"- Ugh, here we go. - You're 27?"
Man Seeking Woman
"- You... - Everyone is struggling in this economy."
Man Seeking Woman
"Everyb... But your sister's a special case."
Man Seeking Woman
"It's insane."
Man Seeking Woman
"What? How do... You know about that?"
Man Seeking Woman
"You know, your mother and I met on a blind date."
Man Seeking Woman
"But with different people."
Man Seeking Woman
"Oh, yeah. No, I know... it's-it's a terrific story."
Man Seeking Woman
"- to each other. - Right."
Man Seeking Woman
"And when our dates went up to go to the..."
Man Seeking Woman
"Josh?"
Man Seeking Woman
"Sorry for, uh, calling out of the blue like this."
Man Seeking Woman
"So great to hear from you."
Man Seeking Woman
"Really?! (stammers)"
Man Seeking Woman
"I mean, yeah, no, me, same."
Man Seeking Woman
"You should come to my apartment."
Man Seeking Woman
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