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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"Oh, God! The guilt! I can't take the guilt any more!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You know how I'm going through my reproductive time. I have a diagram..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, pull my finger."
American Dad! (2005)
"I don't get it. So what's the secret ingredient?"
American Dad! (2005)
"If anyone finds out, Chuck'll slaughter me in the race for deacon."
American Dad! (2005)
"So I've called in a specialist to help me with my campaign."
American Dad! (2005)
"Did it suddenly get cold in here?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Wait. I know you. You're the amoral puppet master behind George W Bush!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Thank you. Now, if you're going to beat Chuck White,"
American Dad! (2005)
"we have to take inventory of your assets. The boy."
American Dad! (2005)
"You can count on Steve. He's a loyal soldier, Karl Rove."
American Dad! (2005)
"I could do even more. Betsy White said she's learning CPR."
American Dad! (2005)
"Could put Chuck ahead with undecided choking voters."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Put him in the girl's class. - Yes! Thank you, Satan."
American Dad! (2005)
"Next, the black sheep."
American Dad! (2005)
"She could sink this whole election. I mean, look at her. She's clearly gay."
American Dad! (2005)
"- I'm not gay. - Whatever you say, butch."
American Dad! (2005)
"- It is? - The masses love it."
American Dad! (2005)
"Unholy, you say?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Where does your food go?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I don't care what this quiz says. I am a flirt!"
American Dad! (2005)
"No, I don't think so. I'm not in the mood."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, for God's sake! Roger, I'm sorry if I was insensitive, all right?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I am!"
American Dad! (2005)
"There, there. It's going to be OK."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You look very pretty today. - Really? I'm trying a new rejuvenating mask."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, whatever you're doing, it's working."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan, honey. We've run out of potato salad."
American Dad! (2005)
"I've got a stick of gum! Who likes Big Red, huh? Who likes Big Red, huh? Big..."
American Dad! (2005)
"What is wrong with you? We cannot run out of potato salad again,"
American Dad! (2005)
"Damn! My car's been towed."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Take it easy, Old MacDonald! - There's barely any milk in these."
American Dad! (2005)
"He secretes more after he eats."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stuff his face, and the milk will flow like the lies from my drunken mother's filthy mouth!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, no. Please, don't. It's almost swimsuit season. I just..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Why, Klaus? Why?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Ja, still German."
American Dad! (2005)
"Thanks for walking me home from CPR class, Steve. Can I tell you something personal?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I told you about having to leave my underwear at Disneyland."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm only doing gymnastics because my parents make me. All I do is practise."
American Dad! (2005)
"In fact, you're the only boy I ever spent any time with."
American Dad! (2005)
"By the transitive property, I got some boob. Algebra's awesome!"
American Dad! (2005)
"We can't stop. The election is tomorrow. Roger's fine."
American Dad! (2005)
"Then what about me? I've been up for days making potato salad."
American Dad! (2005)
"So I got you some help from a Taiwanese sweatshop."
American Dad! (2005)
"- I will not use sweatshop workers! - No, they're sweatshop managers."
American Dad! (2005)
"- To help you use your time better. - Break over! Back in kitchen!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Stand back! I know CPR!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Hey, you didn't have to spit in my mouth! - Attaboy!"
American Dad! (2005)
"and make more brainwashing potato salad!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You deaf? You hear boss. Go! Go!"
American Dad! (2005)
"The Panthers fumbled and the Dolphins ran it back to cover the point spread."
American Dad! (2005)
"You know what this is? A deacon fanny. Yeah! Look at it. Bet you wish you had one."
American Dad! (2005)
"Karl? Karl, where are you? There he is! Come on up."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm good right here."
American Dad! (2005)
"My work is done. Farewell, Stan."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's official. I beat Chuck White!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Let's celebrate!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Nice try, but my reproductive cycle's over. Guess I got it out of my system."
American Dad! (2005)
"You can't be pregnant. You're a virgin! And a boy!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Tell that to my swollen ankles and tender nipples!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- What did you do to my son? - How do you even know it's mine?"
American Dad! (2005)
"He must have sucked out my egg during mouth-to-mouth."
American Dad! (2005)
"So Steve is carrying an alien baby in some sort of faux uterus."
American Dad! (2005)
"You knocked up my boy?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I warned you I was going through my reproductive cycle."
American Dad! (2005)
"This is what happens when you give it up for free."
American Dad! (2005)
"Whatever you want. A pregnant boy still has the right to choose."
American Dad! (2005)
"Not in this house! We're conservatives,"
American Dad! (2005)
"You may have finally beaten me, Smith."
American Dad! (2005)
"But one day you'll stumble, and I'll have the last laugh."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Hey, Mr Fishburne. - Yo! What up, G? Two fingers."
American Dad! (2005)
"- and Chuck White wins again! - Stan, forget Chuck White."
American Dad! (2005)
"Your son is confused and scared, and he needs you."
American Dad! (2005)
"You were right, Francine. I've let this ridiculous rivalry cloud my judgement."
American Dad! (2005)
"This family comes first. That's why I rented this camper"
American Dad! (2005)
"to drive us all down to Mexico so Steve can have his baby."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Mexico? - That's right."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You ready, partner? - Oh, yeah. Fatherhood. Jazzed."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's not like I wanted to do anything with my life, like learn to surf or go to Jerusalem."
American Dad! (2005)
"Steve Smith?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm gonna go in with Steve for his prenatal exam alone. It's kind of a father-son thing."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, OK. Hayley and I'll go say hello to the donkey running around the cancer ward."
American Dad! (2005)
"Steve, I spoke to your father,"
American Dad! (2005)
"and he informs me you have a growth you would like me to "take care of'."
American Dad! (2005)
"You know, that "inside zit" we talked about."
American Dad! (2005)
"So you want me to get rid of it. But I thought we were conservatives."
American Dad! (2005)
"We are - in America. Down here, we're just Juan and Pedro Gomez,"
American Dad! (2005)
"and you'd be all, "Every freakin' time!""
American Dad! (2005)
"Wait. You think that's what this is all about? Beating Chuck White? Am I that awful?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, right. Right."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Where have you been, Steve? - Hey, Betsy. I was gonna call you,"
American Dad! (2005)
"but I'm kinda going through some stuff right now."
American Dad! (2005)
"Boy stuff."
American Dad! (2005)
"I stuck the landing for you. That's how much I like you."
American Dad! (2005)
"At least tomorrow's TGIM."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh! Whatever. Man, I remember when you used to be able to smoke in here."
American Dad! (2005)
"I wanted to thank you all for electing me deacon."
American Dad! (2005)
"Unfortunately, something unexpected has come up,"
American Dad! (2005)
"and I have to abdicate my position."
American Dad! (2005)
"- But why? - It's a bizarre situation."
American Dad! (2005)
"Not 8 Simple Rules let's-keep-it-going- after-the-father-died bizarre, but close."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm not pregnant any more!"
American Dad! (2005)
"How many mouths you been mouth-to-mouthing?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- So, again, thanks for understanding. - But you still haven't told us why!"
American Dad! (2005)
"We'll call you in Iowa once you get settled."
American Dad! (2005)
"You should have thought of that before doing the splits all over town!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Steve! - Betsy. Oh, this is all my fault."
American Dad! (2005)
"No, it's not. I knew kissing got you pregnant, and I did it anyway."
American Dad! (2005)
"Besides, I couldn't be happier. Gymnastics was a prison I'm finally free from."
American Dad! (2005)
"Goodbye, Steve. I'll never forget you."
American Dad! (2005)
"So what if he has a bigger paycheck, a better car and a nicer house?"
American Dad! (2005)
"None of that matters, because I've got..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You ran through a crosswalk! - No, I didn't."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dammit! Every freakin' time!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I told you it was not appropriate!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Then I guess we need a new deacon."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Me too! - Great."
American Dad! (2005)
"Guess I won't be fishing then either."
American Dad! (2005)
"- How's the potato salad? - Delicious."
American Dad! (2005)
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