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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"- Wait! My bra! - No time!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Stan, you just killed a pigeon. - No, I didn't."
American Dad! (2005)
"Absolutely."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hello, Mr Perkins."
American Dad! (2005)
"Thank you!"
American Dad! (2005)
"And so, in closing, remember Galatians 5:14."
American Dad! (2005)
""Love thy neighbour as thyself.""
American Dad! (2005)
"Parishioner announcements:"
American Dad! (2005)
"Congrats, Hayley. What could outshine that?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Terry always nagged him not to talk with his mouth full of saviour."
American Dad! (2005)
"Why so sensitive all of a sudden?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Every six years, my glaxins shoot up into my fompairs,"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm always in mein crapper."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Love has a face. - Stan, what's the big deal?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Chuck White offered to host the pot-luck wake while I was in the bathroom!"
American Dad! (2005)
"He's got a bigger paycheck, a nicer house, a better wife, better kids..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Cos that's what'll happen to my chances at deacon if we take chips and dip!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, Cagney & Lacey!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You were so much more than thick ankles and careful police work."
American Dad! (2005)
"Add chopped celery, four eggs."
American Dad! (2005)
"This is a manor. So you'd better mind yours!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Lemon wedge?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Fatty wants a lemon wedge? Here's your precious lemon wedge!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You boys having fun? Good."
American Dad! (2005)
"That's me! Stan Smith for deacon."
American Dad! (2005)
"There was an ingredient in there I can't put my finger on."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Yes, yes. We've all seen the diagram. - Last night, I ate all your potato salad,"
American Dad! (2005)
"and I tried to make more, but there was no mayo, so instead I used..."
American Dad! (2005)
"We served alien breast milk to our church!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Francine, meet Karl Rove."
American Dad! (2005)
"That was just a fraternity prank! I was blindfolded!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- The peer pressure was enormous! - I mean your daughter."
American Dad! (2005)
"You're going through an emotional time."
American Dad! (2005)
"Eat up, everybody. Yeah, stuff your faces."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, my God! No! Wait! Wait!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Wow! Second base."
American Dad! (2005)
"It leads to kissing, which can get you pregnant."
American Dad! (2005)
"I touched her hand. Her hand touched her boob."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan, look what we're doing to Roger. We have to stop this."
American Dad! (2005)
"He's choking on his feedbag!"
American Dad! (2005)
"So lock our alien back in that mechanical teat-sucker"
American Dad! (2005)
"In my darkest hour, I thought God had forsaken me, but then, a miracle."
American Dad! (2005)
"And that is how I bought my Camry. Ah, here we go."
American Dad! (2005)
"OK, the votes have been tallied. Our next deacon is..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Why don't we make Roger squirt us out a round of his delicious alien boob slime?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Mom, Dad. I think... I think I'm pregnant."
American Dad! (2005)
"You know what? I just remembered, I have a sweater soaking in the sink."
American Dad! (2005)
"How great is it that I started Xanax yesterday?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- so that's what I prepared for! - What am I gonna do?"
American Dad! (2005)
"and the one way we don't like to kill things is that way!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Way to go, Deacon!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Aw, put your money away. Deacons drink for free."
American Dad! (2005)
"What a mess! If they find out my son is pregnant, I'll lose my deaconship,"
American Dad! (2005)
"Now, go be a father to your son, my strong black brother."
American Dad! (2005)
"Steve, are you sure you want to have this child?"
American Dad! (2005)
"orange farmers from Oaxaca, who've come in for a delicate procedure."
American Dad! (2005)
"OK, Dad. I know if Mr White found out you had a pregnant son, he'd be all..."
American Dad! (2005)
"So I won't have this baby."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hands off! Just cos I'm your baby daddy doesn't mean..."
American Dad! (2005)
"You must have passed it on to someone else."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah, run! Run to the arms of your whore! It's what you're good at!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Fine. Let's see. I..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- That doesn't sound very possessed. - Say it into a microphone."
American Dad! (2005)
"Now that I'm an unwed teenage mother, the world is my oyster!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Stan, quit spying on the neighbours. - Today's the day, Francine."
American Dad! (2005)
"Today I will finally beat that smug bastard Chuck White to church."
American Dad! (2005)
"Look at him, zipping up his fly like he owns the place."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, today I get the shady parking spot."
American Dad! (2005)
"Chuck still needs a tie. He's a double-Windsor man, so we have a good two minutes to..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Keep your arms crossed and Jesus won't see 'em!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan, slow down. Is beating Chuck White so important you'd put our lives at risk?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Spray him. Spray him a little. That'll loosen him up."
American Dad! (2005)
"Looks like you're parking in the sun again."
American Dad! (2005)
"Remember our agreement that we could each do one person and it wouldn't count?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Yes. You picked Susan Sarandon. - I've changed my mind."
American Dad! (2005)
"I want my one free kill to be Chuck White. Yours can still be George Clooney."
American Dad! (2005)
"Clooney, you smug bastard."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stop playing basketball and get married like the rest of us!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You know, people often ask me what that means. Seriously. Can you believe it?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Morons! Anyway, the most important lesson God wants you to learn is..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh! Gotta go! God is good, Devil's bad."
American Dad! (2005)
"Deacon, you wanna slap a bow on this puppy?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan Smith's daughter Hayley has made the dean's list at Groff Community College."
American Dad! (2005)
"Jesus, Joseph and Mary Lou Retton!"
American Dad! (2005)
"OK, I'll be taking the first Communion this morning."
American Dad! (2005)
"For maximum salvation, make sure you chew the Host completely..."
American Dad! (2005)
"That's odd."
American Dad! (2005)
"I can't believe he choked to death."
American Dad! (2005)
"Long hours, no pay, whiny churchgoers."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You'd have to be an idiot to volunteer. - I volunteer to be deacon."
American Dad! (2005)
"Now we need an election next Sunday."
American Dad! (2005)
"Gary... When I'm gone, I want you to ride my bicycle."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm going through my reproductive cycle. It's complicated. I'll draw you a diagram."
American Dad! (2005)
"causing me to lactate a viscous milky mucus."
American Dad! (2005)
"Your insides sicken me! I'll be in mein crapper."
American Dad! (2005)
"Damn my tiny, girlish bladder!"
American Dad! (2005)
"If we don't bring the perfect dish, I might as well withdraw!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You don't care about being deacon! You just wanna beat Chuck White."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Why do you hate him so much? - Look at his life."
American Dad! (2005)
"OK. If it means that much to you, I guess we can bring chips and dip."
American Dad! (2005)
"Chips and dip? I tell you what, Francine."
American Dad! (2005)
"Why don't you take this broom here, I'll bend over and grab my ankles,"
American Dad! (2005)
"- I could make potato salad. - Potato salad?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Unadventurous, but it gets the job done. That reminds me. Let's have sex tonight."
American Dad! (2005)
"You set me up, Klaus! Why would you do something so awful?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm German. It's what we do."
American Dad! (2005)
"Just need to add mayonnaise, and..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, God! We're out of mayo!"
American Dad! (2005)
"But if I don't make more potato salad, Stan's gonna rip my head off!"
American Dad! (2005)
"When he does, keep blinking your eyes as long as you can."
American Dad! (2005)
"I have a theory to test."
American Dad! (2005)
"Potato salad. Oh, that is just adorable!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Chuck, Christie. Nice house. - Smith, you live in a house."
American Dad! (2005)
"Are you still into the juice and crackers thing?"
American Dad! (2005)
"No. I'm on an ultra-strict diet. I can only eat what Coach Béla Kàrolyi approves."
American Dad! (2005)
"You know, I'd do anything to get elected deacon."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Well, I'm sure the best man will... - Anything."
American Dad! (2005)
"- It is? - It blows Christie's nachos out of the agua!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Whoever made it, her husband should be deacon."
American Dad! (2005)
"Deacon Stan, Jesus Man."
American Dad! (2005)
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