Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Pez Dispenser (S03E03)

"You know, I got a great idea for a cologne."
Seinfeld
"It's called The Beach."
Seinfeld
"You spray it on, and it's just like you came home from the beach."
Seinfeld
"A cologne that smells like the beach."
Seinfeld
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but that's not a bad idea."
Seinfeld
"Tell me about it."
Seinfeld
"Why don't you call Steve D'Giff?"
Seinfeld
"He works in the marketing department at Calvin Klein."
Seinfeld
"In fact, he's a good friend of John Mollica and Richie, also."
Seinfeld
"- She broke up with you? - No, but she's going to."
Seinfeld
"I can sense it. We had this terrible phone conversation."
Seinfeld
"I was so nervous before I called, I made a list of things to talk about."
Seinfeld
"What was on the list?"
Seinfeld
"Let's see."
Seinfeld
"I'm very good at going in reverse in my car."
Seinfeld
"Why isn't Postum a more popular drink?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, Postum is underrated."
Seinfeld
"Anyway, there was all this tension."
Seinfeld
"I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner..."
Seinfeld
"...and she said, No, maybe we could have lunch."
Seinfeld
"- You know what that means. - What's wrong with lunch?"
Seinfeld
"You don't go back to lunch. It's like being demoted."
Seinfeld
"I'll never do a crossword puzzle with her again, I know it."
Seinfeld
"I like the jumble. You ever do the jumble?"
Seinfeld
"I have no power, you understand?"
Seinfeld
"- Why don't you break up with her. - What?"
Seinfeld
"Break up with her. You reverse everything that way."
Seinfeld
"A preemptive breakup."
Seinfeld
"A preemptive breakup."
Seinfeld
"- This is an incredible idea. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I got nothing to lose."
Seinfeld
"We either break up, which she would do anyway..."
Seinfeld
"...but I go out with some dignity..."
Seinfeld
"...or I completely turn the tables!"
Seinfeld
"This is absolutely brilliant!"
Seinfeld
"So I'm afraid I..."
Seinfeld
"...am gonna have to break up with you."
Seinfeld
"- You're breaking up with me? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"I..."
Seinfeld
"...am breaking up with you."
Seinfeld
"- Wow. - Shocked?"
Seinfeld
"- I really am. - Never expected this, did you?"
Seinfeld
"- I thought everything was fine. - Well, live and learn."
Seinfeld
"Well, I don't understand. You didn't enjoy being with me?"
Seinfeld
"Didn't we have fun doing the crossword puzzle?"
Seinfeld
"Kind of."
Seinfeld
"- I'm very confused. - Well, I didn't mean to hurt you, kid."
Seinfeld
"- I thought- - Now, stop it, please."
Seinfeld
"What do you want? I know I can make you happy."
Seinfeld
"When you're playing the piano..."
Seinfeld
"...do you think about me?"
Seinfeld
"- I don't know. - This is what I'm talking about."
Seinfeld
"- All the time? - All the time?"
Seinfeld
"- I can't hear you. - All the time!"
Seinfeld
"See? It's not so hard."
Seinfeld
"Go ahead. Smell. Smell it."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? So? - Now, you recognize it?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know."
Seinfeld
"The beach."
Seinfeld
"- What are you talking about? - Oh, I'm talking about the beach."
Seinfeld
"What about it?"
Seinfeld
"You know the way you smell..."
Seinfeld
"...the essence of that smell."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard."
Seinfeld
"Whoa, wait a minute. You..."
Seinfeld
"Did you hear what I just said?"
Seinfeld
"You think people are gonna pay $80 a bottle..."
Seinfeld
"...to smell like dead fish and seaweed?"
Seinfeld
"That's why people take showers when they come home from the beach."
Seinfeld
"So you don't think that it's a good idea?"
Seinfeld
"The membranes get dry, and it just starts bleeding."
Seinfeld
"Since I was a kid, so I have to stick a tissue up there."
Seinfeld
"You have to work like that?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Nobody minds."
Seinfeld
"Nobody's ever said anything to me."
Seinfeld
"- There any ice cubes? - Whatever's in the freezer."
Seinfeld
"I looked. I don't see any ice cubes."
Seinfeld
"Well, then I guess there's no ice cubes."
Seinfeld
"...before Richie comes? What's the plan?"
Seinfeld
"Do I have to talk? I don't want to."
Seinfeld
"Alphabetical order. You're first, Roberta."
Seinfeld
"- Why am I first? - Albano's your last name."
Seinfeld
"- Not anymore. I'm divorced. - I'll go first."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, hey! - Hey."
Seinfeld
"- Is this the interference? - Intervention."
Seinfeld
"Who told him to pour the Gatorade over Marty Benson's head?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, let him stay. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Hey, I got somebody to make up that cologne for me, bigmouth."
Seinfeld
"- Kramer! - Hey, you guys! All right!"
Seinfeld
"Come on in. These are some of my Polar Bear buddies."
Seinfeld
"- They can't stay. - You're having a party here?"
Seinfeld
"No, we're having an intervention."
Seinfeld
"An intervention? Who's intervening?"
Seinfeld
"He's a friend of ours on drugs, and we're gonna confront him."
Seinfeld
"Sure. We used to do that..."
Seinfeld
"...when one of our Polar Bears stopped coming. We'd go to his house:"
Seinfeld
"What, you don't want to be a Polar Bear anymore?"
Seinfeld
"- It's too cold for you? - It's him!"
Seinfeld
"- What do we do? - Hide!"
Seinfeld
"It's not a surprise party!"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - It's George."
Seinfeld
"Come on up."
Seinfeld
"It's not him."
Seinfeld
"You don't wanna go out with me because I'm a bartender, right?"
Seinfeld
"Is it because I have a tissue in my nose?"
Seinfeld
"We just came from Chadway's. What's going on?"
Seinfeld
"The intervention. We're waiting for Richie."
Seinfeld
"Right, the intervention. Should we leave?"
Seinfeld
"- Well... - Elaine, hi."
Seinfeld
"Hi, Noel."
Seinfeld
"Well, you're looking well."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, let me tell you something."
Seinfeld
"A man without hand is not a man."
Seinfeld
"I gotta thank Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Even if I were dragged through manure..."
Seinfeld
"...I still wouldn't put that stuff on."
Seinfeld
"- You think so? - I don't think so, I know so."
Seinfeld
"Come here. I gotta talk to you."
Seinfeld
"The male kangaroo doesn't have a pouch."
Seinfeld
Show more clips