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Clips from Seinfeld - The Wallet (S04E04)
"I'll take it. No, I'll take it. What is it?"
Seinfeld
"- Here you go. - What, cigars?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, Cubans. - Oh, yeah?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, the kind that Castro smoked. You can't buy them anywhere."
Seinfeld
"Castro, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Federal Express? Come on up."
Seinfeld
"You know what you just did? You let a burglar in the building."
Seinfeld
"- You think so? - Federal Express? Of course."
Seinfeld
"That's the oldest trick in the book."
Seinfeld
"So you wanna just abolish all home-package delivery?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, it's dangerous."
Seinfeld
"Wait."
Seinfeld
"Okay."
Seinfeld
"Oh, God. I thought you were in California."
Seinfeld
"- I missed you. - Really?"
Seinfeld
"- You really missed me? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, big missing going on around here."
Seinfeld
"Oh, God. Whose suitcase is this?"
Seinfeld
"My parents'. My father came up to see a back specialist."
Seinfeld
"- Boy, you look really great. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- You lie. - No, no, you really look great."
Seinfeld
"So tell us about the trip. How's Dr. Reston?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, he's fine."
Seinfeld
"- Things are good? - Yeah, you know."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I saw it."
Seinfeld
"When you ask about their relationship and they touch their face..."
Seinfeld
"...you know it's not going too well."
Seinfeld
"Go ahead. Ask me how it's going with somebody."
Seinfeld
"- How's it going with Alice? - Good, going good."
Seinfeld
"The higher up on the face you go, the worse the relationship is getting."
Seinfeld
"You know, it's like: Pretty good. Not bad. I gotta get out."
Seinfeld
"- How high did I go? - You almost did the nose."
Seinfeld
"Are you eating my peanut butter out of the jar with your disgusting fingers?"
Seinfeld
"This is a sickening display."
Seinfeld
"What, I'm not eating bread now. I'm off bread."
Seinfeld
"You're off bread."
Seinfeld
"- So, what happened? Is it over? - No, not quite."
Seinfeld
"- Why not? - He was my psychiatrist, you know."
Seinfeld
"I mean, he knows all my patterns."
Seinfeld
"He knows in relationships I always find some reason to leave."
Seinfeld
"So he says, as my doctor, he can't allow me do this..."
Seinfeld
"...so he's not letting me leave."
Seinfeld
"- What do you mean, not letting you? - He has this power over me, okay?"
Seinfeld
"He has this way of manipulating every little word that I say."
Seinfeld
"He's like a Svenjolly."
Seinfeld
"Svengali."
Seinfeld
"- What did I say? - Svenjolly."
Seinfeld
"Svenjolly? I did not say, Svenjolly."
Seinfeld
"- George? - Svenjolly."
Seinfeld
"I don't see how I could've said, Svenjolly."
Seinfeld
"Maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you."
Seinfeld
"- I can't find a match anywhere. - You know what you should do?"
Seinfeld
"No, it's not gonna work with this guy."
Seinfeld
"You just tell him an old boyfriend's come back into your life."
Seinfeld
"I don't think so."
Seinfeld
"- Nice try. - Took a shot."
Seinfeld
"This is a good cigar."
Seinfeld
"So when do I get to see the doctor?"
Seinfeld
"He'll be in with the x-rays in a few minutes."
Seinfeld
"You can get dressed."
Seinfeld
"My wallet's gone! My wallet's gone!"
Seinfeld
"I had my wallet in my back pocket. It's gone."
Seinfeld
"- Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure."
Seinfeld
"I went in to get my x-rays. Somebody takes my wallet. Is that the operation?"
Seinfeld
"I'm not interested in the x-rays. I want my money back."
Seinfeld
"Somebody stole my wallet. I had $225 in there."
Seinfeld
"- I don't see how that happened. - Oh, you don't see."
Seinfeld
"You don't see. Well, it happened. Believe me."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Yeah, while I was in getting x-rayed."
Seinfeld
"All right, Mr. Seinfeld, I am sorry about your wallet."
Seinfeld
"Would you like me to look over the x-rays?"
Seinfeld
"- What kind of joint you running here? - All right."
Seinfeld
"Fine."
Seinfeld
"At least you could've heard your diagnosis."
Seinfeld
"I'm not interested in his diagnosis. He's a bum."
Seinfeld
"You came all the way from Florida to see him."
Seinfeld
"I wanna know what kind of office this is where you can't leave your pants."
Seinfeld
"You tell me."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry, but there's somebody else."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's nothing I planned on happening, you know."
Seinfeld
"It just kind of happened."
Seinfeld
"- Tell me about him. - Well, there's not really much to tell."
Seinfeld
"You know, he's just a guy, really."
Seinfeld
"- Yes, well, I assume he's a guy. - Right."
Seinfeld
"And you've known him how long?"
Seinfeld
"Years. Many years."
Seinfeld
"We've been close friends, and then recently, something just, you know..."
Seinfeld
"...happened."
Seinfeld
"- You mean sexually? - Yeah, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me. Yes?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, yes, Bobo."
Seinfeld
"No, it's just east of Madison."
Seinfeld
"Around 4 will be fine. All right, Bobo, see you then."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. Where were we?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I was just telling you about this other guy."
Seinfeld
"Elaine, do you remember your dream..."
Seinfeld
"...where you had a sexual encounter with a Chinese woman?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Elaine, I'm concerned about you."
Seinfeld
"Oh, no. Don't concern yourself with me, because I'm good."
Seinfeld
"I'm very good. I mean, I'm really very, very good."
Seinfeld
"Elaine..."
Seinfeld
"...have you been urinating a lot again?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"And how often have you been seeing..."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. What is his name?"
Seinfeld
"- His name? - Yes, his name."
Seinfeld
"- Well, what's the difference? - Are you afraid to tell me his name?"
Seinfeld
"No, I just don't really see how that's relevant."
Seinfeld
"It doesn't matter if you don't see how. I see how."
Seinfeld
"I'll tell you his name. His name is..."
Seinfeld
"...Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Is that his first name or his last name?"
Seinfeld
"You know, I'm really uncomfortable talking about this."
Seinfeld
"- Elaine, I want you to do me a favor. - What?"
Seinfeld
"I want you to tell this young man to give me a call."
Seinfeld
"- It's very important that I speak to him. - Oh, no, no, I can't do that."
Seinfeld
"You can, and you will."
Seinfeld
"Okay. Okay, yeah, I'll have Kramer give you a call."
Seinfeld
"So you didn't even let the doctor treat you?"
Seinfeld
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