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Clips from The Simpsons - Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (S01E01)

"Robin laid an egg"
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"Jingle bells Jingle bells"
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"The fifth grade will now favour us..."
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"with a scene from Charles, uh, Dickens' A Christmas Carol."
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"How many grades does this school have?"
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""was unexpectedly run over and went to kitty heaven."
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""But we bought a new little cat, Snowball I."
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""Speaking of life going on, Grandpa's still with us, feisty as ever."
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""Lisa got straight A's, and Bart--"
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""The magic of the season has touched us all."
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"Marge, haven't you finished that stupid letter yet?"
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"- The Simpsons." - Marge, where's the extension cord?"
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"For heaven's sake, Homer. It's in the utility drawer."
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"Sorry. I'm just a big kid."
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"And I love Christmas so much."
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"D'oh!"
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"I'll send them to Santa's workshop at the North Pole."
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"Oh, please. There's only one fat guy that brings us presents,"
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"Uh-- A pony?"
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"Can't you take a hint?"
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"But I really want a pony,"
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"- and I've been really good this year. - Oh, dear."
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"Maybe Bart is a little more realistic."
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"- A tattoo? - A what?"
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"Yeah! They're cool, and they last the rest of your life."
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"you will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas."
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"Yeah. If you want one, you'll have to pay for it out of your allowance."
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"- All right! - Homer!"
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"- "Yello.""
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"May I please speak to Marge?"
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"- Who shall I say is calling? - Marge, please."
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"It's your sister. Oh!"
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"- Hello. - Hello, Marge. It's Patty."
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"Selma and I couldn't be more excited about seeing our sister Christmas Eve."
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"Well, Homer and I are looking forward to your visit too."
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"of all the men you could've married,"
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"I don't know why you picked one who's always so rude to us."
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"- Nice try, Dad."
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"Just hold your horses, son. Hey, Simpson!"
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"Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho."
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"- Oh! - Oh, neato!"
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"It's too bright."
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"I oughta-- Flanders. What a big show-off."
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"- All right! The mall! - Go get your money."
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"Oh, I have my secrets."
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"Turn around."
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"- you can look now. - Ooh! Big jar this year."
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"It's the best present a mother could get,"
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"- Twenty-one, sir. - Get in the chair."
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"- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm."
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"during the following announcement."
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"Hello. I'm proud to announce..."
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"without increasing the cost to the consumer..."
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"or affecting management payraises."
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"However, for you semiskilled workers,"
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"Merry Christmas!"
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"- Oh, thank God for the big jar."
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"- Where's that Bart?"
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"Yes, Mrs. Simpson, we can remove your son's tattoo."
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"- Cool! - However, it is rather expensive,"
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"Ow! Quit it."
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"Ow! Quit it."
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"- Ow! Quit it. - Hey, what's with this?"
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"Ow! Quit it! Used to be a real boss tattoo."
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"Mom had to spend the Christmas money having it surgically removed."
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"It's true!"
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"The jar is empty! Oh, my God!"
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"No presents for anyone!"
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"Don't worry, Homer. We'll just have to stretch your Christmas bonus..."
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"- Homer? - Oh, yeah. My Christmas bonus."
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"How silly of me."
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"Hohoho."
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"Hohoho."
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"Hohoho."
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"Hmm. I get the feeling there's something you haven't told me, Homer."
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"Oh, good, because I do love you."
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"and a credit card that won't set off that horrible beeping."
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"I think it does have something to do with your Christmas bonus."
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"I-- I wanna do the Christmas shopping this year."
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"I bet Bart can think of a million things to do with these."
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"That just leaves little Maggie. Oh, look!"
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"- Well, let's see. - Oh, this one's mine. This one's mine."
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"- Hey, you dropped your pork chop."
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"- Gimme that! - Well, happy holidays, Simpson."
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"- Gee, this is the best Christmas ever. - You bet."
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"You've been sitting there, sucking on a beer all day long."
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"Drinks all around!"
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"What's with the crazy getup, Barn?"
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"I got me a part-timejob working as a Santa down at the mall."
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"Wow! Can I do that?"
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"I don't know. They're pretty selective."
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"Do you like children?"
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"What do you mean? All the time? Even when they're nuts?"
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"- Hmm. - Uh, I certainly do."
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"Welcome aboard, Simpson."
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"Pending your successful completion of our training program, that is."
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"Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho."
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"Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho."
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"Not a dime till Christmas Eve! Now, from the top."
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"- Dancer. - Mm-hmm."
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"Comet and... Cupid."
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"- Donna Dixon? - Sit down, Simpson."
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"- You're not really Santa, tubby. - Why, you little egghead!"
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"No, Homer! If such an emergency arises,"
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"- and you are one of his helpers. - Oh, I knew that one too!"
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"But, Homer, my sisters are here."
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"- Daddy! We're so glad to see you! - Oh, Dad, you're finally home!"
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"Hello, Patty. Hello, Selma."
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"- How was your trip? - Fine."
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"- you both look well. - Thank you."
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"- Yeah, well, Merry Christmas. - It's Christmas?"
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"- you wouldn't know it around here. - And why is that?"
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"- For one thing, there's no tree - I was just on my way out to get one!"
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"Snow is glistening"
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"- Walking in a winter wonderland"
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"Hey! What do you think you're doin'?"
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"- Uh-oh. - Hey! Hey!"
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"- Wow! Yay, Dad! - Way to go, Dad!"
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"- Why is there a birdhouse in it? - Uh, that's an ornament."
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"Do I smell gunpowder?"
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