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Clips from The Simpsons - HOMR (S12E12)

"No, no. No candy for you."
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"Well, at least get some candy for yourself."
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"Your life savings."
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"Uh, now, before I execute this order..."
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"are you sure you understand the risks of stock ownership?"
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"You heard the monkey. Make the trade."
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"Huh? What is this crap?"
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"Fox Broadcasting, down eight."
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"Our ticket out of this hellhole."
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"Oh. I hope "plunging" means "up" and "75" means "200.""
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"which is terrible news for the company's only stockholder, Homer Simpson."
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"Oh!"
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"Family meeting."
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"All right. First item. I lost our life savings in the stock market."
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"Well, maybe if Mom didn't make such dry waffles. There, I said it."
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"Well, maybe if you ate some meat, you'd have a natural lubricant."
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"I have a great way to solve our money woes."
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"If you agree, signify by getting indignant."
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"Come on, Marge. We're a team."
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"It's "uter-us," not "uter-you.""
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"Forget it."
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"You know, Homer, I got a great way to make money."
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"- I'm a human guinea pig. - You mean like medical testing?"
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"Yeah. Medical, military, chewin' stuff."
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"Oh. Oh, right. Okay."
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"Hmm."
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"First we'll test this experimental perfume on you."
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"It burns! It burns!"
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"Hmm. We'll call it Desert Breeze."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"Homer, you really have no desire to eat that food?"
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"Food? I'm blind!"
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"We'll let marketing worry about that."
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"D'oh!"
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"D'oh!"
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"Damn it!"
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"He's a little too well fed to be a wino."
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"Mr. Simpson, I'm afraid you have a crayon lodged in your brain."
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"How come no one ever noticed it before?"
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"Oh, I can answer that."
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"Fourteen."
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"Sixteen!"
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"Whoo-hoo!"
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"Hmm. Increase my killing power, eh?"
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"Let's do it."
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"I just underwent a procedure to increase my I. Q 50 points."
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"- Really? - And they gave me this spiffy nerd ensemble too."
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"Is the capital of North Dakota Bismarck?"
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"but her psychological credentials are highly suspect."
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"It's true!"
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"Now, who's up for a trip to the library tomorrow?"
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"Notice I no longer say "libary" or "tomorry.""
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"- I'd love to go to the library with you. - It's a date."
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"It's so tragic the way they hopped on Pop."
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"- I always dreamed you'd be my library buddy. - Get out."
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"Now hold still."
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"Nothing cracks a turtle like Leon Uris."
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"Hey, Flanders. Heading for church?"
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"Well, I thought I could save you a little time."
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"and I accidentally proved there's no God."
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"Uh-oh. Well, maybe he made a mista-"
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"Can't let this little doozy get out."
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"on not putting things up your nose."
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"Please welcome Homer Simpson."
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"You see? It's cool to be smart."
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"So be like me and use your minds."
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"Thank you. Unfortunately, due to budget cuts..."
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"Please evacuate the auditorium before it's bulldozed into a mini-mall."
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"So, is that your usual coffee mug?"
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"It's not."
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"How come you're not giving it to Mr. Burns?"
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"I've decided to disintermediate the local authorities..."
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"Hmm. Way to put us out of work, genius."
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"I can't feed my family with a codpiece."
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"Wait. You can't hate me. I'm your better!"
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"Your better!"
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"Oh, you've really done it this time, dum-dum."
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"Hey! That's me!"
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"Stop that. The fire inspector would be appalled."
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"Don't tell me how to feel."
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"- So you all hate me? - That's right, brainiac."
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"Not to mention driving to."
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"You ain't welcome here no more, smart boy."
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"Hmm. I'm detecting a distinct strain..."
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"of anti-intellectualism in this tavern."
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"Lisa, why didn't you warn me?"
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"Being a brain has alienated me from all my friends."
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"In fact, I made a graph."
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"I make a lot of graphs."
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"Oh, many things. Tai chi, chai tea..."
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"I do."
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"One groom- Two grooms?"
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"Oh, my medication!"
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"I don't understand. That wasn't funny."
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"You know she's gonna wind up marrying Richard Gere."
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"I thought she'd wind up with that rich snob."
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"Ably played by Bill Paxton."
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"Point out your plot holes elsewhere."
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"Is there no place for the man with the 105 I. Q?"
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"I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world."
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"That's ridiculous. You do nothing but play God."
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"So what do you want here? Uh, appendectomy, lipo or the sampler?"
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"The old "Crayola oblongata.""
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"Oh, no. He wouldn't!"
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"Deeper, you pusillanimous pilsner pusher!"
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"Sweetheart, a missing crayon could be anywhere."
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"Who wants lottery tickets?"
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"Okay. It's in his brain."
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"Dad, how could you? We were connecting in such a meaningful way."
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"We were what-what in the what-what?"
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"- Hey. What's this? - I don't know. Must be something I wrote before Moe fixed me."
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""But before I do, I just want you to know..."
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"being smart made me appreciate how amazing you really are.""
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"Oh, Dad."
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"Oh, you want a hug."
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"Mmm. Hug."
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"He's right, you know."
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"Hmm. Hmm!"
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"# Here is my handle Here is my spout ##"
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"Yeah. Uh, she's behind that plant."
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