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Clips from Superstore - Mannequin (S01E01)

So far it's a tie.

"So far it's a tie."

Superstore

Right.

"Right."

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I was trying to get rid of the mannequin

"I was trying to get rid of the mannequin"

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because it was becoming a distraction.

"because it was becoming a distraction."

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and that maybe you're the sensitive one.

"and that maybe you're the sensitive one."

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No, there's a difference between being sensitive

"No, there's a difference between being sensitive"

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and being annoyed.

"and being annoyed."

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You would understand

"You would understand"

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What?

"What?"

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Amy, what are you doing here?

"Amy, what are you doing here?"

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No.

"No."

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Jonah, that looks nothing like me.

"Jonah, that looks nothing like me."

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Oh.

"Oh."

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Looks like I touched a nerve, huh?

"Looks like I touched a nerve, huh?"

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- No. - Hey, look at this.

"- No. - Hey, look at this."

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What is Amy doing here?

"What is Amy doing here?"

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- That's supposed to be Amy? - Yeah!

"- That's supposed to be Amy? - Yeah!"

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So sad.

"So sad."

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Well, you totally nailed

"Well, you totally nailed"

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It's the best that I could find.

"It's the best that I could find."

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I'm totally blanking right now.

"I'm totally blanking right now."

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You go. Go, go, go, go, go.

"You go. Go, go, go, go, go."

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Go.

"Go."

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"I look like a random white girl"?

""I look like a random white girl"?"

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To get a sense of what our child's life

"To get a sense of what our child's life"

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would be like with you,

"would be like with you,"

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what's your neighborhood like?

"what's your neighborhood like?"

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Picket fences. Good schools.

"Picket fences. Good schools."

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Are you familiar with a gang called "Los Guapos"?

"Are you familiar with a gang called "Los Guapos"?"

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It's their turf, but, uh,

"It's their turf, but, uh,"

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we have an understanding.

"we have an understanding."

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So I assume that would extend to my baby as well.

"So I assume that would extend to my baby as well."

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Okay, so if a baby does poo-poo, would you, like,

"Okay, so if a baby does poo-poo, would you, like,"

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wipe it front to back or back to front?

"wipe it front to back or back to front?"

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Front... back to front.

"Front... back to front."

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Front to back. Front to back.

"Front to back. Front to back."

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- What an amateur. - Final answer!

"- What an amateur. - Final answer!"

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No. Uh, boy or girl?

"No. Uh, boy or girl?"

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Yeah, write that. That was good.

"Yeah, write that. That was good."

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Thanks.

"Thanks."

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Okay, so, uh, I'ma throw you, like, a hypothetical.

"Okay, so, uh, I'ma throw you, like, a hypothetical."

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Let's say you're, like, dancing around the room,

"Let's say you're, like, dancing around the room,"

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and accidentally, you kick the baby in the face.

"and accidentally, you kick the baby in the face."

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How do you say you're sorry about that?

"How do you say you're sorry about that?"

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Yo, Chief.

"Yo, Chief."

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Hey, Garrett.

"Hey, Garrett."

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Check it out.

"Check it out."

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Shark attack.

"Shark attack."

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Ooh, that's great. Hey.

"Ooh, that's great. Hey."

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I thought that you should know that

"I thought that you should know that"

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and it's starting to get a little weird.

"and it's starting to get a little weird."

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Well, where is Betty?

"Well, where is Betty?"

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Yeah, Betty had said

"Yeah, Betty had said"

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something critical about Lady Gaga,

"something critical about Lady Gaga,"

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so Mateo assigned her to freezer duty.

"so Mateo assigned her to freezer duty."

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Well, you know what?

"Well, you know what?"

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Let somebody else fix it for once.

"Let somebody else fix it for once."

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This is your fault.

"This is your fault."

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You're the one that outsourced your job

"You're the one that outsourced your job"

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'cause you're busy with a work flirt.

"'cause you're busy with a work flirt."

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What? Work flirt? What does that even mean?

"What? Work flirt? What does that even mean?"

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I got, like, five or six work flirts going on

"I got, like, five or six work flirts going on"

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at any given time.

"at any given time."

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Hey, Jennifer. What it do, boo?

"Hey, Jennifer. What it do, boo?"

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Well, that's great for you, Garrett,

"Well, that's great for you, Garrett,"

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but that is not what is happening.

"but that is not what is happening."

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I am not flirting with Jonah.

"I am not flirting with Jonah."

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This is because Jonah said

"This is because Jonah said"

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that I was the responsible one.

"that I was the responsible one."

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- No. - Yes.

"- No. - Yes."

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I know.

"I know."

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Well, then I completely understand

"Well, then I completely understand"

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I think my best quality as a parent is that

"I think my best quality as a parent is that"

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I'm a stable, loving, married man.

"I'm a stable, loving, married man."

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So I don't have groups of strange men

"So I don't have groups of strange men"

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wandering through my house every night.

"wandering through my house every night."

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It was one man, and not since I installed the deadbolt.

"It was one man, and not since I installed the deadbolt."

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Your brain's a deadbolt.

"Your brain's a deadbolt."

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Yeah, well at least I don't have foster children

"Yeah, well at least I don't have foster children"

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that I raised currently in prison.

"that I raised currently in prison."

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It's a juvenile correctional facility.

"It's a juvenile correctional facility."

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Look, I guess you just have to ask yourselves,

"Look, I guess you just have to ask yourselves,"

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do you want your child raised in a home with loaded handguns

"do you want your child raised in a home with loaded handguns"

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laying around?

"laying around?"

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Or do you want your child raised by Glenn?

"Or do you want your child raised by Glenn?"

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Do not point at me.

"Do not point at me."

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I'll point two fingers back at you.

"I'll point two fingers back at you."

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- You wouldn't dare. - Oh, yeah? Ha-ha!

"- You wouldn't dare. - Oh, yeah? Ha-ha!"

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- Okay, you know what? - See?

"- Okay, you know what? - See?"

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That's a violation of the code of conduct.

"That's a violation of the code of conduct."

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- Oh, is it a violation? - It sure as heck is.

"- Oh, is it a violation? - It sure as heck is."

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- Oh, really? - Yep.

"- Oh, really? - Yep."

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- Who put that in there? - I did!

"- Who put that in there? - I did!"

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I said I'm sorry. What else do you want?

"I said I'm sorry. What else do you want?"

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It's just careless

"It's just careless"

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to go around saying things like that.

"to go around saying things like that."

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This is how rumors get started.

"This is how rumors get started."

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I was just saying you were being a little flirty.

"I was just saying you were being a little flirty."

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I didn't say you were banging in the break room.

"I didn't say you were banging in the break room."

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Come on! Help me out here.

"Come on! Help me out here."

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Whoa!

"Whoa!"

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Oh, hey, guys.

"Oh, hey, guys."

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Now, that is how rumors get started.

"Now, that is how rumors get started."

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This is not how it looks.

"This is not how it looks."

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Really?

"Really?"

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'Cause it looks like you got a sex doll

"'Cause it looks like you got a sex doll"

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and you dressing it up to look like Amy.

"and you dressing it up to look like Amy."

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- Yeah. - No.

"- Yeah. - No."

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See, that sounds stalker-y,

"See, that sounds stalker-y,"

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whereas I specifically bought this doll

"whereas I specifically bought this doll"

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because it already looked like Amy.

"because it already looked like Amy."

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I'm walking away.

"I'm walking away."

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Oh, good. More people.

"Oh, good. More people."

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- Oh, my god! - Is that supposed to be Amy?

"- Oh, my god! - Is that supposed to be Amy?"

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- No. - Yes, yes.

"- No. - Yes, yes."

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and there are no mannequins in the store

"and there are no mannequins in the store"

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Which, can we talk about that for a second?

"Which, can we talk about that for a second?"

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Oh, no, no, no, we not talking about that.

"Oh, no, no, no, we not talking about that."

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Let's talk about this.

"Let's talk about this."

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Jonah, what is happening?

"Jonah, what is happening?"

Superstore

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