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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S04E04)

"- Just tell me the joke. - Okay. Ready?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(EX CLAIMING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"To this day, it's still the dirtiest joke I've ever heard in my life."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And no, I'm not gonna say it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, I can't hang out with you anymore."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, I know you're nervous, but you've got to stop procrastinating."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I know. I'm freaking out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The things I know about this company, I won't ever be fired."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know, something that makes you fun and well-liked, like Marcus Denisco."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Maybe even a guy and a half."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CHEERING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Section 5A, overtime will no longer be paid at time and a half."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(WHOOPING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"DOUGLAS: Hey, buddy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I was relaxed about two seconds ago."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's okay, PJ. That's Robin. She lives here."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This whole mentoring thing is just another way"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Fine, but PJ is not helping. - Hey, hey."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"then PJ is not going anywhere."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"PJ's a guy?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"wear for three days and then mail back to me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I thought of a thing to make me more essential here."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I Know a Good Stretch for That Guy?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Downward-facing fired."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(IMITATING KNIGHTS) We are the knights who say, "You're fired.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(WHIRRING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CELL PHONE RINGING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, my God, the call's coming from inside the house."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, at lunch, when you go on your wisdom walks,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It always does, sir. It always does."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Why is the bathroom locked?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No. I am telling you"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Distracting PJ is going to kill our productivity."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Corporate retreat?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, Sports Guy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm holding on to a lot of money."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Great work, Sports Guy. That's for last week."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"MARSHALL:60, 80, 100."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's not a big deal."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, just walking down the street with some money in my pocket."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Babies can smell money. Everyone knows that!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Seriously, dude, I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall, last week you were trash that no one wanted to look at."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I was trash? - Last week!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I told you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"about Ted not having sex with the people he hires?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Because it hurts!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, Lily's the only person that I can talk to about this stuff."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Just get her to talk to me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Seriously, I wish..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The brochures you designed just came in. Really interesting choice for the cover."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and you're late every day!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, I'll wait for you at your place. Okay, bye."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I'll miss you. - I'll miss you, too."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and e-mails and phone calls in the middle of the night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, buddy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Do you want me to stop?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: With Robin and PJ broken up, I was free to make"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(COUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm... Wait for it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I know that you're in love with Robin! - What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Lily told me. - She told you?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I bet you guys have been laughing at me behind my back the whole time."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I just miss her when she's not around."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Are you ever going to tell her how you feel?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"subtly manipulating every situation to get exactly what she wants."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You got a good one there. Hang on to her."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, I'm really going to miss you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay! Okay! I'll figure it out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey. You okay?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"He forgot to account for the weight of the books."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Secondly, you need to get on the phone and start calling clients."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That sounds great, buddy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Now call an actual client. - Great."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(BARNEY EX CLAIMING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Dude, come on. She's not gonna like it. It's boy-funny. It's not girl-funny."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Lily's cool. She'll appreciate this. - You're on your own, man."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lily, what's the difference between peanut butter and jam?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SNICKERING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- See? It's funny. - It's boy-funny."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She's not gonna like it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Why don't you let me decide?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: And then Barney said the punch line."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(LAUGHING) Oh, come on. That's a funny joke."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Told you. - She'll be back."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: And we didn't see Lily for four weeks."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: Kids, after getting laid off, I was finally pursuing my lifelong dream,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"starting my own architecture firm. All I needed was some clients."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I think it's so great that you're striking out on your own, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I admire that. - Thanks."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And thanks for being so cool with me using the apartment."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, yeah, of course. Anything you need."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, small thing, do you mind not watching television"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- during business hours? - This isn't working!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm sorry. It's just, I can't concentrate while Wheel of Fortune is..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(WHEEL DINGS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"A penny saved is a Penny Marshall! Yes!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You've spent the last two days choosing the official pen of Mosbius Designs."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, I've made some progress, huh?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I've eliminated felt-tip."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Who am I kidding? Felt's back in the ballgame."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey. You hear there's gonna be more layoffs?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Are you worried? - Are you kidding?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I mean, there's a pretty good chance one day I'll wash up on shore"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"with no fingerprints or teeth, but I won't be fired."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, I wish I had your confidence."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, you just need a way to make yourself absolutely essential."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, I work harder than anyone in my division."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah. Keeping your job has nothing to do with hard work."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You need a thing. - What do you mean, a thing?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: Marcus Denisco worked in Account Services"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and was perhaps the most expendable employee at the company."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I brought some donuts. They're probably stupid."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Food Guy! - Food Guy!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Who wants some pulled pork? Of course you do! Come on!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(ALL CHEERING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Mmm-hmm. - You know what I love about Food Guy?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- He always has food. - He always has food."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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