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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - Mary, Joseph and Larry (S03E03)

"- It's so great when you come. - Aw, here's the keys."
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"What the fuck is your problem?"
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"What's the matter with him? What are you doing?"
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"No, no, I got something stuck in my throat."
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"Have some water."
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"Hey, by the way, do I owe you any money"
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"for some of those phone calls that I made last..."
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"- I know I ran up a bill. - It's my pleasure."
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"Who are you calling at 2:00 a.m. from my house, Larry?"
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"What was that about?"
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"I was calling my housekeeper Dora."
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"Wait a minute. You have a fight with Cheryl,"
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"you sleep at my house, and at 2:00 a.m. you call your housekeeper?"
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"Yeah. She was gonna quit, it was a whole huge thing."
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"Cheryl can't find anything. She couldn't find her pajamas."
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"She was quitting the next day. I had to, yeah."
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"One of you two assholes is lying, I just don't know which one."
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"- We're not lying. - Yeah, you are."
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"- No, we're not. - No, we're not."
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"I don't believe you."
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"- It's true. - It's true."
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"All right, let's go to the club and do some tipping."
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"Merry Christmas."
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"Merry Christmas."
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"Merry Christmas."
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"- That was great. - How'd you do?"
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"What's the matter?"
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"I think I tipped that guy twice."
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"- No. - Yeah."
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"No, that's ridiculous, he would've said something."
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"I was just going around tipping everybody,"
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"And I got..."
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"Yeah, 'cause I got confused."
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"Why wouldn't he say something to you?"
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"Well, it's just... you know..."
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"Hi. It's a little awkward,"
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"but, you know, I was going around giving out my Christmas..."
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"Yeah, well, that was very nice. Thank you so much."
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"You're very welcome, but I'm sure"
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"you're not aware of this,"
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"Twice? No, no, you came up"
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"and you said "Merry Christmas,""
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"and you gave me some money, which was very nice,"
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"- No, no, you did it once. - Well..."
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"it was twice."
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"No, I would have realized it, if it had happened."
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"But since it didn't happen..."
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"So you're saying I only tipped you once?"
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"A big gold ball there..."
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"- Here, yeah - That's perfect."
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"I'm gonna put this one right in here... Larry, hi."
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"- Hi, Larry. - Look, Merry Christmas."
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"You're here. What do you think, you like it?"
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"- It's kind of big, isn't it? - Yeah, it's a big one."
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"- Grab a ball. - Just make a hook. I'll show you."
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"- Make a hook. - No, maybe later."
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"The bigger the better."
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"Cheryl's in the kitchen, by the way, with Becky."
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"Yeah, they're baking. They're baking cookies."
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"Oh, how wonderful."
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"No, not quite. Soon."
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"What'd you get Cheryl? You can tell me."
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"- It's like a scarf. - Oh, he's getting her a scarf."
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"She loves scarves. Is that all?"
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"Got something caught in your throat?"
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"Grape stem."
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"Oh."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Well, here, have some..."
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"Oh, this doesn't have a hook."
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"- Hi, Becky. - How are you?"
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"- Good. - Happy holidays."
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"- Happy holidays. - How are you?"
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"- Okay. - Hello, darling."
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"Honey, why can't you wear the scarf"
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"You know, the red one?"
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"Because it itches me. It's itchy."
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"Well, she brought it up to me today."
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"She just feels like you don't care"
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"that she gave you this lovely present."
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"I didn't yell at her, we had a talk,"
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"She dragged me to the concert. So I went, what's the big deal?"
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"because you tipped Carlos twice as much as you tipped her."
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"- You can't do that. - He's lying, like the waiter."
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"- At the club. - What waiter?"
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"I gave the waiter a tip twice, 'cause I didn't remember..."
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"- Why are you doing that? - I was going around tipping everybody."
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"- so I tipped him twice. - You know what you should do?"
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"You should take her to lunch at the club."
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"That is a really good idea."
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"Everything she says you go along with?"
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"I would like it if you took me to lunch is all I'm saying."
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"You can disagree with her once."
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"She happens to think that I'm right most of the time."
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"Do you really think I should take her to lunch?"
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"Oh, honey, it would mean so much to her."
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"I think that's wonderful."
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"- Nice tree, by the way. - Thank you."
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"Carlos, let me ask you something. Did you tell Dora"
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"No."
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"'Cause she told my wife that you said that."
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"Why would she make up something like that?"
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"Don't you find that curious?"
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"You know what I love?"
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"I love how you know"
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"when we're gonna run out of soy milk."
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"so there's always a cold one in there."
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"You're a good folder."
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"Very good folder."
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"Particularly with the t-shirts."
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"There's a little kind of thing you do at the end..."
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"you flip them over,"
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"the arms, they get, like, flipped over"
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"Okay."
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"The toilet paper..."
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"with my pants at my ankles screaming, "More toilet paper!""
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"You know? What else, what else do you do?"
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"Toilet paper..."
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"folding..."
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"soy milk."
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