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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - Mary, Joseph and Larry (S03E03)

"I got a pubic hair."
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"You got a pubic hair in your throat?"
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"Well, let's take a look at it then."
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"I got people in here all the time with stuff stuck in their throat."
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"Generally, between you and me,"
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"it's not something I do that often..."
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"You know what? Don't even need to know the schedule."
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"- I know, I'm just... - Let's just take..."
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"Up, open for me. There it is."
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"Yeah, I see it. I see it back there."
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"It's pretty far back, and it's kind of..."
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"it's kind of wrapped itself around."
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"So... I can get it if you want me to."
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"But... I'll tell you now,"
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"it's gonna be a little painful for you. It's gonna hurt."
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"which is... kind of flush it out."
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"Take some liquids and it will flush out. Three days at the most."
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"Jesus, it's stuck in there and it's scratching me."
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"I just feel like I can get it up but I can't."
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"I know, your choice. Happy to go in and get it if you'd like."
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"Or you can let it come on out by itself."
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"What do you think?"
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"- Fine, I'll just wait. - Okay, little advice?"
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"- Yeah? - Whatever happened,"
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"Don't worry. I'll be staying away from it for a while."
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"Very good. All right, always good to see you."
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"- All right, good to see you. - All right."
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"- Rock on. - All right."
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"- Okay? All right. - Okay, thank you."
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"How did your doctor's appointment go?"
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"He looked at it and says it will go away by itself."
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"Listen, Larry, we have a lot to do before my parents get here."
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"and we need to get a Christmas tree. We've got to get..."
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"Hold it, hold it, hold it."
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"What are you saying? Christmas tree?"
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"and have it set up."
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"We're getting a Christmas tree?"
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"My parents are coming. We're celebrating Christmas."
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"Is that a surprise to you?"
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"Give me a break on the tree. Do we have to do that?"
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"It's too weird, man. Come on, that is just too weird."
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"No, listen, man, you're gonna like it."
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"I'm a Jew. To have a tree in the house, it's bad luck."
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"You know, my guy might not..."
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"may think I'm switching or something. He might not understand."
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"I think your guy is gonna be fine with it. Don't you want my..."
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"I'm sorry."
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"- You're gonna take care of that? - I'll take care of that."
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"Then I got to go get Jeff, we're gonna go to the club"
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"and tip everybody there. There's no end to it with this holiday."
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"But you know what? It's gonna make you feel good."
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"All right, I'll see you later, okay?"
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"What should I give... ah, you don't know..."
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"Hey, Dora?"
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"Could you do me a favor, okay?"
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"When people call and ask for me,"
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"- Okay. - Even the doctor's office called up,"
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"and you told them I went to a U2 concert, you know?"
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"Mm-hmm."
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"I don't like people knowing where I go."
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"- Okay, okay. - Just say I'm not home."
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"- "Not home." - Okay, can you do that?"
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"- Not home. - Yeah."
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"- Mr. Larry not home. Okay, okay. - Yes, exactly. Thank you."
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"And here's a little..."
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"little Christmas thing for you."
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"- Here you go. - Gracias."
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"- Merry Christmas to you. - Merry Christmas, Mr. Larry, thank you."
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"- All right. - You enjoy."
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"You too."
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"Bye-bye, Mr. Larry."
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"How's the gardening?"
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"- Oh, it's good. - Gardening's good?"
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"- It's good gardening. - Yeah, it's good."
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"I have a little something for you for Christmas."
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"- Feliz navidad. - Gracias."
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"You know what?"
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"So I heard that you were at the..."
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"U2 concert."
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"My wife dragged me to the concert. So big deal."
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"Do you know anyone in the band?"
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"- What's his name? - I know his name."
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"- You don't know his name. - Hey, asshole, I know his name."
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"- 100 bucks. - Okay, his name's B-o-n-o."
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"You got to pronounce it."
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"I don't know if it's "Sonny Bo-no," or Bon-no."
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"It's Bon-no. But, you know what?"
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"Because you spelled it, it's a draw. I don't owe you anything."
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"- Even, okay? - Who told you, by the way?"
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"Dora."
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"My doctor knows, now you know."
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"She told the doctor the same thing."
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"Well, you need to talk with your maid."
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"Well, if you come over my house in a couple of days,"
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"you'll see a Christmas tree there."
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"Why?"
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"Cheryl's parents are coming. She wants a tree."
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"- It's not gonna end there. - I've never had a tree in my life."
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"- At least your wife's not Jewish. - My wife's not Jewish, yeah."
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"- But those couples? - Two Jews getting trees?"
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"They can't let them have their holiday."
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"We have to horn in on their holiday."
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"- Do we have to get in on it? - It makes me crazy. Yeah."
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"They can't just let them have their holiday."
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"Listen to me, listen to me. Susie's on her way up right now, okay?"
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"A couple weeks ago, she went out of town,"
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"I made a phone call about 2:00 in the morning,"
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"to a friend, woman... platonic. Okay? Nothing going on."
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"But she found the phone bill. I told her it was you, okay?"
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"I said you got in a fight with Cheryl,"
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"you slept over, and then you made the phone call, okay?"
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"- Wow, what a wild story. - I don't think it's that bad."
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"- It's good. - It's pretty good."
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"- I do think it's good. - Well, thank you."
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"How come you didn't tell her the truth?"
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"Hey, 10 p.m. is the cut-off for platonic friends."
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"After 10 p.m., it gets weird."
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"Hi honey. Oh, Larry, I didn't know you were here."
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"- I forgot you were coming. - How are you, sweetheart?"
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"- What a surprise. - Good to see you."
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