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Clips from The Golden Girls - Joust Between Friends (S02E02)

"Rose, the dog is drooling on my foot."
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"You say that like it's a bad thing."
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"Rose, we had an agreement. You said the dog would be gone by now."
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"Just one more day, Dorothy. I'll find the owner."
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"I have posters all over the neighbourhood."
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"One more day or I'll get rid of the dog myself."
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"I'll take him out to the lanai."
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"Auntie Dorothy."
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"- Morning. - Morning, Auntie Blanche."
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"- The pup's still here. - Yeah."
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"One more day, unless Ma takes him bar hopping."
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"How come you're dressed so early?"
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"I told Mr Allen I'd come in early"
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"to get the press list information ready before lunch."
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"You're such a treasure. I hope he appreciates you."
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"After only a week you know as much about that museum as I do."
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"What's to know? Bang in a nail, hang a picture. Any idiot could do that."
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"Stop bragging. You're only saying that cos I'm your daughter."
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"I'm very proud of the job you're doing, Dorothy."
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"Hello?"
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"Just a minute. Mr Allen on the phone."
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"He's never called me at home before."
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"And he's not now. It's for Dorothy."
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"Thank you. Good morning, Mr Allen."
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"Well, thank you."
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"Thank you, yeah. Well, thank you very much."
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"Thank you so much. I'll see you later. Bye-bye."
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"- What did he want? - To thank me for my work"
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"on the Hotchkiss project."
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"That's lovely. Just lovely."
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"Especially since there wasn't that much work involved."
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"Ma, it's 8 a.m. What are you doing with the sherry?"
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"I'm not gonna drink it. I was hiding it from the dog."
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"Promise me you won't drive."
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"Dorothy, look who I found."
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"- Ma. What are you doing here? - You left your lunch at home."
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"Thanks. You didn't have to come."
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"Good excuse to put my teeth in."
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"While you're here, would you like a tour?"
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"No. If I want to look at pictures, I go to FotoMatt."
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"Rose brought me. She's outside with the dog."
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"You ever stick your head out of a car window doing 50? What a rush."
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"Hello."
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"And who do we have here?"
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"This is my mother Sophia Petrillo."
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"Ma, this is my boss Mr Allen."
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"Pleased to meet you, Mrs Petrillo."
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"What brings you to our humble home?"
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"Is he gay?"
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"Come on, I'll walk you to the car."
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"Goodbye. Sorry you didn't have an opportunity to experience our museum."
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"I'd love for you to see my most prized acquisition."
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"A magnificent pair of Gauguins."
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"What are you, a pervert?"
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"I was married 45 years. I never even saw my husband's Gauguins."
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"I forgot why I came to talk to you. About the banquet."
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"Don't you worry about a thing."
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"I love to throw a party. Leave it to me."
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"Actually, I've decided to leave everything to Dorothy."
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"- Excuse me? - I've put Dorothy in charge"
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"of the arrangements for the banquet."
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"You won't have to do a thing."
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"You'll have your time free to devote to the exhibition."
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"But, Mr Allen, I'd always assumed that I was gonna handle it."
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"You were, but that was before we found Dorothy."
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"Tell her I want to see her."
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"Hello."
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"Dorothy isn't here."
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"She was arrested on a morals charge this morning."
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"You never know, do you? Have a nice day."
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"Ma, gimme a break. The Di-Gel's on the bottom shelf."
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"You."
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"Come on. That does it. Come on, out."
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"Right now."
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"Come on, now, this isn't fair."
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"Come on. I'm not falling for those big sad eyes"
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"and floppy ears and wet nose."
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"The last time I did, it ended in divorce."
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"Stan couldn't even catch a Frisbee in his teeth."
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"Listen."
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"Honey, it's not a personal thing."
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"I don't hate you. As a matter of fact, I once had a dog."
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"A schnauzer name Wa-Wa."
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"Yeah, well, I know that sounds strange,"
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"but my daughter was only two when she named him during a walk."
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"And I figured between that and Number One,"
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"Wa-Wa was the hands-down winner."
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"He was the greatest dog in the world."
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"Present company excluded."
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"I loved that dog. He was always with me."
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"I thought I'd never be able to get along without him."
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"And one day he died."
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"I cried for a week."
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"And I decided then I would never ever go through that again."
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"So, you see, it's not... My God."
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"I've spilled my guts to someone who drinks out of a toilet."
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"Listen, I'm sorry, you are out of here."
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"One Wa-Wa in my life was enough."
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"Look, I've had it with that disgusting dog."
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"I've tolerated him as long as I can."
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"- He's got to go. - But, Dorothy..."
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"- No "buts", Rose. - OK, I'll need a few more days."
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"A few more days and that is it."
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"Get me a doggie bone."
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"I don't know. I don't think you deserve one."
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"Not for me. It's to lure that mutt out of my room."
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"That's OK. I'll get him out."
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"Aunt Dorothy's certainly a grouch."
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"You couldn't sleep either, huh?"
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"No, I guess it's the knife in my back."
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"Come again?"
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"I wasn't going to mention this,"
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"but I won't be able to sleep until I do."
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"You have backed me into a corner."
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"When that happens, I come out fighting like a wild cat."
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"Unless I'm drunk. I slide down the wall and make passionate love on the carpet."
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"Blanche, what the hell are you talking about?"
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"You stole the banquet of the only art show I've ever put together."
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"I did not steal your banquet. Mr Allen assigned it to me."
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"Why? Why give it to you and not to me?"
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