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Clips from The Golden Girls - Joust Between Friends (S02E02)

"and I've also substituted in art appreciation classes"
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"That's just a little joke to ease the tension of the moment."
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"Come on, sweetheart. That's a boy."
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"Anyway, the dog walks in, looks at me,"
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"and it's your Uncle Aldo's face begging for a drink."
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"Very sweet of you to call. Yes."
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"Ma, you expect me to believe that?"
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"Come on. Out. Move it. Out."
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"When it's done, would you look at it?"
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"I'd be happy to, Mr Allen."
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"I had a light breakfast."
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"Haven't you already steamed it open?"
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"Up until we started working together, you were my best friend."
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"I am not that person."
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"I don't know what in the hell got into me."
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"Please. This is tearing me up. I'm a mess."
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"I want to give you something personal,"
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"No, I just have something in my eye."
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"I felt the same when I dropped him off."
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"Come on in, guys. Come on, guys."
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"I'll set these down and show you through the house."
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"You didn't have to wait outside. Come in. It's OK, fella."
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"I don't mind if I do. Nice place you got here."
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"Coffee? Tea? Scraps from last night's dinner?"
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"Oh, you're pulling my tail."
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"Aren't you a little old for imaginary friends?"
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"Sophia, I wasn't talking to myself."
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"I was talking to the dog."
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"My Auntie Bet talked to woodpeckers."
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"1,000 volts a day stopped that."
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"He's adorable. I found him at the market."
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"I'll keep him till I find his owner."
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"Find his owner before Dorothy gets home. She hates dogs."
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"Hello."
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"Oh, well, look at the cute little puppy dog."
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"Hello there, honey."
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"He likes me. He must be a male."
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"Then you don't mind if he stays till I find his owner?"
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"Mind? Of course I mind."
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"You can't keep that filthy beast in my house."
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"But you said he was cute."
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"He is. But a dog belongs outdoors in his natural habitat"
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"where he's free to roam and lick himself in the privacy of his doghouse."
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"He won't be any trouble. I'll keep him in my room."
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"You won't know he's here."
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"OK, but we're not the only ones living here. Dorothy has to agree, too."
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"- Thanks, Blanche. - If he lifts his leg,"
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"I'll rub your nose in it."
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"That seems fair."
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"Bye, Auntie Blanche."
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"Bye, Auntie Sophia."
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"She gets away with it."
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"If she was my age she'd be locked up making boats out of sticks."
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"I've had it. I've just had it."
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"In the past few days I've been turned down"
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"for every available part-time job in Dade County"
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"that didn't involved selling cocaine."
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"Oh, Dorothy, it's just so unfair."
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"They shouldn't do this to a fine teacher like you."
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"It's part of the experimental year-round school system."
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"Every teacher is required to take a ten-week leave"
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"and my ten weeks are now."
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"You should've taken the job I suggested."
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"Ma, you wanted me to be a nun."
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"It's steady work, they supply the uniform and you're married to God."
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"At least he's home every night."
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"Maybe it's time you reconsidered working at the museum with me."
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"Come on, we've had that conversation."
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"All I know about museums is not to eat the veal in the cafeteria."
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"You can't find a job and you need the money."
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"- Well... - I won't take no for an answer."
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"I'll set up an interview with Mr Allen tomorrow."
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"What was that?"
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"Rose found a dog at the supermarket."
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"Couldn't she get stew meat like she usually does?"
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"Dorothy, don't be upset. The poor thing was lost."
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"He followed me home."
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"You drive to the market. Did he follow you in a taxi?"
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"He looked so hungry and sad. I couldn't just leave him."
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"I hunted hours for his owner."
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"I hate dogs, Rose."
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"Dorothy, come on. Nobody hates dogs."
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"Please, just for the night. I promise."
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"Please, Auntie Dorothy."
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"I won't be any trouble. Please."
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"All right. But just for the night."
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"Thank you, Auntie Dorothy."
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"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."
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"Well, do you believe this?"
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"I saw her lips move."
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"I took several art courses in college"
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"in the public school system."
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"Mr Allen, Dorothy was telling you about her background."
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"I'm sorry, I'm distracted."
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"It's not every day you find your friend in bed with your wife."
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"I'm so sorry. That must have been quite a shock."
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"It was. Arthur's never come home at lunch before."
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"He caught me red-handed."
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"- Now, where were we? - We were talking about art."
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"The thing we hang on the wall here."
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"- What about it? - Dorothy knows a lot about it."
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"She studied in Rome and lectured in Paris"
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"and she has a very keen eye for colour and light and form."
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"She's always the first one to compliment me on my wardrobe."
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"to the Vatican this afternoon."
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"Pardon?"
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"Right."
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"But standing there in my shorts, nothing came to mind."
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"Mr Allen."
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"- Does Dorothy get the job? - Sure. I don't care."
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"Thank you, Mr Allen. I hope I live up to your expectations."
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"Never mind. It's over a week. Why is that mutt still here?"
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"- I'm a little worried. - Don't be, it was a hangover."
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"- What? - A hangover from the sherry."
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"Ma, you gave the dog sherry? That's terrible."
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"I was having a few sips while I rinsed out my underwear."
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"It's a little thing I do Mondays and Thursdays."
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"I give him a swallow, but he doesn't know when to stop, also like Aldo."
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"We sing some Puccini, stretch out on the couch and take a nap."
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"All in all, a pleasant afternoon."
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