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Clips from The Golden Girls - Joust Between Friends (S02E02)

"I've been working there for five years."
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"I'm the one who's been wearing low-cut blouses"
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"and picking up pencils off the floor."
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"I'm the one he always gropes at the Christmas party."
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"And they picked Sandra Day O'Connor over you?"
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"I'm not taking this sitting down."
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"When it comes to art, you cannot hold a candle to me."
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"Give me back my banquet before you mess it up."
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"Listen, Mr Allen gave me that banquet and I'll take charge of it,"
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"regardless of your childish insecurities."
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"- Who are you calling childish? - Who did you call back-stabber?"
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"Girls, this little fella better stick around a while."
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"- Get rid of him. - He's ill."
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"Don't explain, Rose. I lived with some bitches myself."
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"- Dorothy, is Blanche around? - She hasn't come in yet."
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"Good, we can talk about the banquet."
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"- How's everything going? - She doesn't suspect a thing."
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"I can't wait to see her face"
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"when she sees the banquet is to honour her good work."
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"- I can't either. - I'll finish my speech for Blanche."
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"Be happy to, Mr Allen."
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"My, aren't we licking boots a little early?"
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"- Here's your mail. - Why not tell me what's in it?"
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"What?"
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"Please, I have a lot of work to get done before lunch."
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"Don't let little ineffectual, insignificant me"
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"- get between you and your work. - Thank you."
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"I wouldn't want to come between your lips and Mr Allen's behind."
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"Blanche, that does it, I have had it."
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"We were good friends because you trusted me."
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"Now you think I'm some other person, someone who'd stab you in the back."
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"Blanche, I am still your best friend, whether or not you think so."
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"Dorothy, I..."
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"I've been acting like such a fool."
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"I know you'd never hide anything behind my back."
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"Please forgive me, Dorothy."
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"Please, Dorothy."
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"Please."
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"You really hurt my feelings. I... I don't know."
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"You can't tell from the way I look, but it's true."
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"OK, Blanche. I forgive you."
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"Dorothy, I've got the... thing I want you to look over."
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"The thing. I'll look at it later."
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"So, where would you like to have lunch?"
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"How about that new pizza place on the corner?"
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"- Great. - Dorothy."
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"Yes?"
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"What was that thing Mr Allen just gave you?"
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"- What thing? - That thing in your drawer."
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"That thing."
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"- It's nothing. - If it's nothing, let me see it."
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"I am really hungry. Let's go out and get that pizza now."
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"It's 9.15. I don't want pizza, I want to see that."
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"- I'm sorry, Blanche, you can't. - Why?"
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"- Because. - Why?"
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"Because it's none of your business."
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"None of my business?"
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"I will have you know that before you came here,"
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"everything was my business."
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"- Show me that paper. - I'm sorry, Blanche, I can't."
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"I knew you'd been hiding something."
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"You no-good, back-stabbing jezebel. I demand you show me that paper."
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"I'm sorry, flattery won't work."
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"I'll tell you what won't work. You and me in the same office."
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"Stealing that banquet was bad enough, but hiding things is going too far."
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"If you want this job that bad that you have to lie, you can have it."
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"I quit."
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"Gin."
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"- Aren't you gonna get mad? - No. Want to play again?"
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"- You still upset about Blanche? - Yes, Ma."
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"Tell her that cockamamie banquet is for her."
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"I can't, I was sworn to secrecy."
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"- Hi, Blanche. - Eat dirt and die, trash."
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"Just hold it right there, Blanche."
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"You stay out of this, Ma."
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"That banquet you're mad about is in your honour."
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"- What? - I told you, it was a secret."
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"Your secret, not mine."
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"- Is this true? - Yes, it is."
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"Now you feel like the dirt you wanted her to eat,"
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"I think I'll have a hard candy."
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"Dorothy, I..."
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"I don't know what to say."
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"- I understand, Blanche. - Oh, no, you don't."
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"See, I thought I was a miracle worker,"
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"that nobody could do what I do at the museum."
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"Then you came and learned my job in a week"
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"and I realised any idiot can do it."
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"And you were afraid you couldn't find the right words to apologise."
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"There are no right words, Dorothy."
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"Words cannot begin to ease the pain I've inflicted on you."
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"But I want to make it up to you."
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"something from the heart."
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"The most beautiful thing I own,"
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"to the most beautiful person I know."
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"I guess that would be my emerald earrings."
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"I'm sure as hell not gonna give you those."
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"But I want to give you something. Something personal."
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"I know, how about a personal cheque for $ 75?"
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"On the bottom I'll write, "I was a big fat jerk.""
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"Blanche, I don't want your cheque"
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"I am trying to find some way to tell you I'm sorry."
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"OK, I'll take it but I won't cash it."
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"I'll keep it as a reminder for the next time you behave like a big fat jerk."
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"OK."
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"Will you be able to pretend to be surprised at that banquet?"
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"Of course. I've pretended to be a virgin enough times."
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"Girls, I've got great news. I found the dog's owner."
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"How did you know?"
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"He recognised the picture. And the dog came to him when he called."
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"That's wonderful."
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"I'm so glad he found his owner."
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"Dorothy, why, are you crying?"
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"That's dog love in your eyes."
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"All right, I admit it. I love dogs."
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"It just breaks my heart that that dog is gone."
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"That's why I stopped at the animal shelter."
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"Dorothy, why are you up so early?"
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"I promised to take him to the pound, but he wasn't well."
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"Come on, sweetheart."
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