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Clips from Superstore - Guns, Pills and Birds (S02E02)

"How do I know that he's actually dangerous?"
Superstore
"Yeah, maybe no gun for him."
Superstore
"- Hey. - HI."
Superstore
"Can I take a look at that bolt action rifle?"
Superstore
"Yes, you may."
Superstore
"All right, uh..."
Superstore
"Oh, hey, this one is expensive."
Superstore
"It is."
Superstore
"But I really want to treat myself today."
Superstore
"Oh. I'm so sorry to hear that."
Superstore
"Yeah, I'm pretty upset about it."
Superstore
"How upset are you?"
Superstore
"Well, extremely."
Superstore
"I worked there over 20 years,"
Superstore
"and then they just get rid of me like I'm trash?"
Superstore
"Well, they're gonna regret it."
Superstore
"Service denied. Service denied."
Superstore
"Excuse me?"
Superstore
"You just said you're upset"
Superstore
"and they were gonna regret it, so nope."
Superstore
"'Cause I'm the only one"
Superstore
"who understands the payroll software."
Superstore
"I mean, who's gonna do it now? Monica?"
Superstore
"Look, I'm sorry I'm being overly cautious,"
Superstore
"but you know what?"
Superstore
"Why don't we try and find you"
Superstore
"a better hobby than this, you know?"
Superstore
"Have you ever considered fencing?"
Superstore
"No."
Superstore
"Fencing sucks."
Superstore
"No, it doesn't."
Superstore
"All right, in order for this to work,"
Superstore
"it is critical that we run at the crow"
Superstore
"at exactly the same speed, 8 miles per hour, got it?"
Superstore
"Yes, ma'am."
Superstore
"All right."
Superstore
"Sorry, sometimes I forget you're Asian."
Superstore
"13 kilometers per hour."
Superstore
"I still don't..."
Superstore
"It's 240 steps a minute."
Superstore
"That doesn't mean anything to me."
Superstore
"Well, I don't know how to make it any clearer."
Superstore
""Pretty fast" is a relative term."
Superstore
"What's your resting heart rate?"
Superstore
"I have no idea."
Superstore
"God, we're gonna have to figure it out now."
Superstore
"Okay, take your pulse for ten seconds."
Superstore
"You're gonna multiply that number by six."
Superstore
"Dude, you know the bird flew away,"
Superstore
"like, a while ago, right?"
Superstore
"Thanks."
Superstore
"So just the morning-after pill?"
Superstore
"That would have been my guess."
Superstore
"My man. All right."
Superstore
"So a couple things you need to know about this bad boy."
Superstore
"Hey, Tate."
Superstore
"You want to see some pictures of my kids?"
Superstore
"I hate kids."
Superstore
"Wait till you see how cute they are."
Superstore
"Children are such a gift."
Superstore
"How do I call up these pictures?"
Superstore
"All right, just give me a sec."
Superstore
""Viewing photos."
Superstore
"Go to the home screen by tapping Menu button.""
Superstore
"I'm sorry. We really need to get going."
Superstore
"Of course."
Superstore
"Glenn, would you just cut it out?"
Superstore
"Let them buy the damn pill."
Superstore
"Would you mind very much"
Superstore
"if I just cut in front of you?"
Superstore
"- Huge! - I guess."
Superstore
"Thank you."
Superstore
"All right."
Superstore
"Yeah, hi, I'd like to buy"
Superstore
"all of your morning-after pills, please."
Superstore
"Big weekend."
Superstore
"Gonna get all liquored up and promiscuous."
Superstore
"I'm happy to try to clean it up, but the problem is,"
Superstore
"if I even think about vom..."
Superstore
"Oh."
Superstore
"Okay, okay."
Superstore
"Okay. I got it."
Superstore
"Oh, god."
Superstore
"Three more hours."
Superstore
"Three more hours. Three more hours."
Superstore
"Oh, hey, babe, what's up?"
Superstore
"Hey, please don't be mad,"
Superstore
"but Frank just got last-minute tickets"
Superstore
"to the entrepreneurs conference this weekend,"
Superstore
"and I know I said I would take Emma camping, but..."
Superstore
"Yeah, that should do it."
Superstore
"All right, just dump that in the cart there."
Superstore
"Okay, that should draw her out."
Superstore
"How do you know it's a woman?"
Superstore
"I'm glad you asked, Mateo."
Superstore
"They have internal penises called cloacas."
Superstore
"Okay."
Superstore
"And when they become very engorged..."
Superstore
"Look, I'm gonna give it to you straight."
Superstore
"You know I'm just gonna order more of these, right?"
Superstore
"Cloud 9 credit union card in hand."
Superstore
"Okay."
Superstore
"Well, that comes to"
Superstore
"$1,127 and 54 cents."
Superstore
"What?"
Superstore
"That much?"
Superstore
"Yeah."
Superstore
"I'd explain why, but"
Superstore
"your brain couldn't handle the science."
Superstore
"No, no, I can't afford that."
Superstore
"I mean, well, with car payments"
Superstore
"and mortgage and groceries for 13,"
Superstore
"we're barely getting by."
Superstore
"- What? - Yeah."
Superstore
"You could have tampered with them."
Superstore
"But you know I didn't."
Superstore
"I was here the whole time."
Superstore
"I know I said I could take Emma on the trip."
Superstore
"Yes, you did."
Superstore
"- Excuse me. - Just one second."
Superstore
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