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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Mister Softee (S08E08)

"for putting my feet up and putting you in this compromising position?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"I have some Japanese slippers you could change into out there."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Oh, that's kind of you to offer, but I'd rather not."
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"So just to make sure that I understand things thoroughly,"
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"- you felt humiliated... - What the hell then, right?"
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"- You felt humiliated as a result of this... - I'm not comfortable with it."
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"- I'm sorry. - All right."
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"- Yes. Yes. - You were playing strip poker with her."
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"And of course I lost almost every hand."
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"I feel like if she had taken the top off"
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"my whole life would have been different."
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"Keep it going. Keep it going, guys. Come on."
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"- What what what? - What's happening with my car?"
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"Easy job. Be ready tomorrow like I said, okay?"
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"- Worry about the game. - We don't need to worry about this game."
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"- You need to worry about the game. - We got this game."
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"Championship game. Bring it in, everybody."
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"Come on."
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"Okay, we're here."
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"We made it! We made it to the big game."
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"Center stage."
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"Every one of you all, give yourselves a clap on the hand."
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"You know, before I came out today"
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"that when you put on this uniform"
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"with my name on it,"
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"there is no substitute for winning!"
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"No substitute!"
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"quote unquote, Raleigh's clothing"
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"with their pussy mustard-yellow shit uniforms."
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"we will grab them and we will fuck"
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"their sisters in the cunt!"
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"Are you listening?"
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"Yes!"
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"Fuck their sisters in the cunt? Who talks that way?"
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"Okay, here we go. Two outs."
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"Ground ball goes to first, second or third or home."
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"All right, come on, yari."
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"What the fuck? What?"
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"Where are you? What happened?"
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"- By the what? - What a douche. What a douche."
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"- You suck. How could you do this? - What a loser."
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"A baby could have kicked that ball,"
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"You fucking bucknered it. Why is Buckner on my team?"
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"Hey."
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"Oh, about time. God damn, Larry."
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"I had a softball game. I told you that."
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"- How was the game? - I made an error in the last inning"
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"with two outs that cost us the championship."
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"Meanwhile I'm standing the fuck out here counting my motherfucking nuts."
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"Know why? I can't get in the goddamn building."
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"- That's totally unacceptable. - That's unacceptable."
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"Let me just say this, okay? On behalf of all caucasians,"
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"I apologize for the Caucasian race."
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"To avoid situations like this in the future,"
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"I think you should consider wearing glasses."
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"- Fuck out of here. - Swear to god."
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"go out of their way to do stuff for them."
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"If a black man with glasses goes up for a job against a white man,"
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"glasses gets the job. No glasses, no job."
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"- We'll try this shit, Larry. It's a wager. - You're open to it?"
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"- I'm open to this shit. - Beautiful."
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"- I'll try this shit and see what the fuck happens. - All right, let's go."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- What's going on with Jennifer, man? - I'm seeing her tonight."
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"Oh, ha ha! See, I get a fucking tingle in my Johnson"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"when a motherfucker tells me he's about to get some ass."
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"- Do your goddamn job. - I'll talk to him."
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"( Jennifer moaning )"
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"- ( Chimes playing ) - ( Larry gasps )"
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"Larry, what's the problem?"
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"Well, come on, Mr. softee."
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"- Hey. - Hey."
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"- How's it going? - It's great."
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"- Good. So is the car ready? - Good. Good."
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"- Let me check. - By the way, great game yesterday."
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"It's not ready? How come it's not ready?"
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"- You said it was gonna be ready. - I said it's not ready."
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"Is it almost ready?"
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"What happened?"
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"I guess I made an error."
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"Yeah."
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"- No big deal. Made an error. - You didn't fix my car"
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"because I made an error? What are you, 12 years old?"
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"( Shouting ) what are you, 90 years old?"
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"You let the ball go through your legs. Too too too tot."
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"The whole season is a complete waste of time!"
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"- It's a softball game! - "It's a softball game"?"
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"You don't understand because you're not the steinbrenner."
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"- I am the steinbrenner. - You're the steinbrenner?"
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"- I am the steinbrenner! - Really?"
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"I paid for them. Yari's autonomics."
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"Steinbrenner always say..."
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"- he say winning is the only answer. - It's important."
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"He says winning all day, every day or go away."
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"- Yeah. - I'd like my championship back."
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"- Give me the key. - You are fired."
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"- Give it to me. - I fire you. Your car is fired."
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"Take your fucking car."
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"I never want to see you or your key"
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"I won't wear your name on my shirt again, that's a promise."
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"Don't disgrace me. Get out of my... yari's! Get out!"
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"Buckner, fuck you. Go Buckner yourself."
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"The front seat is really rattling. It's terrible."
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"- ( Sighs ) - what happened?"
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"They're sold out."
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"- Sold out? - Yeah."
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"Let me go down here and give it a shot, man."
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"Wow."
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"We're good."
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"- Leon: Wow. - Can you believe that?"
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"I'm gonna get me a whole new class of bitches with these on."
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"This is better than anything the civil rights leaders have ever come up with."
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"You're goddamn right. I have overcome, god damn it."
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"I got to get mookie's autograph."
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"I'm gonna check out Joe pepitone over here."
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"What's up, man?"
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"Hey, Dr. thurgood."
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"You're getting mookie's autograph, huh?"
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"Yeah well, I'm usually a cubs fan."
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"I'm kind of attracted to the hopeless cases."
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"Hey, right?"
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