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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Mister Softee (S08E08)

"- I find it disgusting. - It's al fresco."
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"Larry: I hope it turns out better than the golf championship."
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"- You're absolutely correct. - But we've just started dating."
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"I only chose it because I knew we were gonna split it."
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"- Really? - The food here is great."
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"- Can I try it? - Nope."
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"Larry: I learned a very valuable lesson today."
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"No, you're only saying you learned a lesson because I said I learned a lesson."
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"I know for a fact you did not learn a lesson."
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"There's a signing thing at the regency."
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"- Oh yeah. Okay. - All right?"
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"To tell you the truth, whenever I see a woman who's happy,"
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"And whenever I see a man who's happy, he's single."
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"I've got a flush."
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"Come on."
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"That's pretty pretty pretty good."
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"( Chimes playing )"
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"Put some clothes on, you four-eyed fuck."
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"And to this day"
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"- I am absolutely okay with it. - Although it's just a sneaker."
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"Well, I think even if it were a dress shoe I would be fine."
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"I don't feel funny about it. But if it makes you feel better"
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"- Sure, go ahead. - Okay."
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"This was a girl that you knew from the neighborhood, I presume."
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"She took off her socks and shoes."
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"- Hey, yari. Yari. - Keep it going."
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"- Really? - You worry too much."
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"I am so proud of every one of you."
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"I think about I'm like the steinbrenner."
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"And I think, "what would steinbrenner say right now?""
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"He would say"
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"So we're going to go out there,"
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"We aren't just going to beat them,"
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"Bring it in. Come on."
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"- Fuck these people! - All: Fuck these people!"
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"This is it... championship. One more out, all right?"
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"( Chimes playing )"
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"Yes! You got it, Larry."
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"- Here it comes. You've got it. - Crowd: Oh!"
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"And now they're going home."
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"How did this... what?"
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"I got distracted by the softee truck."
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"- picked it up, thrown it three place. - Stupid ass!"
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"Sorry."
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"- What are you talking about? - This motherfucker in the glass tube."
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"This dude right here. The gatekeeper won't let me in the goddamn building."
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"By the way, I have a very good idea for you."
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"I have noticed that white people revere black people in glasses,"
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"- Jennifer: Oh. - Larry: Oh my god."
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"- Hey, yari. - Oh."
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"- You pitched really well. - It's not ready."
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"Um, I think half. Half ready."
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"- Half ready? - Yeah yeah yeah."
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"- You know what I did? I dropped the ball. - Okay."
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"Steinbrenner owned a major league baseball team."
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"- I own this team. - You own 12 t-shirts."
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"You disgraced... You disgraced my business."
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"- I'd like the car. - You'd like the car?"
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"Just like... that's what George would do. Take your car."
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"wearing my name on your shirt again."
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"Go! Faster!"
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"So I get the car back from yari,"
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"it's worse than it was before. I don't know what he did to it."
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"Hold up, hold up. My shoe is untied."
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"- I'm gonna get the tickets. I'll be right back. - All right."
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"Wow, this is amazing. It worked."
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"- Larry, how are you? - Hey, hi."
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"You understand? Larry, I don't live in school either."
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"Hey, listen. So I've got to talk to you about something."
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"and I heard the softee theme..."
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"That cost us the championship in a softball game."
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"Are you absolutely sure that you want to deal with this here? I mean, while we're here?"
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"- He only played the important notes... - Yeah."
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"- I just couldn't do it. - Oh my god."
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"- Nice to meet you. - This is amazing that you're here."
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"Of course yours happened in the world series"
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"Yeah, I saw that. He's the first one to wear that since Hitler, isn't he?"
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"- Hey, Buckner, you suck. - Hey, have a nice day, fellas."
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"Nice catch. ( Laughs )"
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"Oh my god. How do you put up with that?"
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"You just get used to it."
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"- Man: Fuck you, Buckner! - Hey!"
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"I hear a lot of good stuff about. Woman has a bipolar disorder."
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"Are either of you gentlemen Jewish?"
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"- Not me. - Uh, yeah, I'm..."
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"- It's a free lunch. - Yeah, it's an emergency."
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"Hopefully there's an afterlife. I'll keep my fingers crossed."
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"He's a big Red Sox fan and he can't be in the same room with bill Buckner."
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"I'll have to ask you to please leave."
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"- October, 1986, two outs. - Jesus Christ!"
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"Hey, you won two world championships since then. That's not enough for you?"
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"- Don't worry about it. - I don't want to be in your stupid minyan anyway."
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"- Stupid minyan? My uncle died. - Larry: How about that?"
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"Mr. bill Buckner."
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"- Bill Buckner! - Hey, how you doing?"
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"- Welcome, bill Buckner. - Baseball player, right?"
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"Yeah, a little bit with the angels."
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"- Yes. - Oh my god."
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"- But it was my idea. - Let me see. Let me see."
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"Larry, what the hell were you doing?"
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"- You know, we just... - I thought you were a professional."
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"- I'm not joking around. - All right."
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"- The seat is still rattling. - Can I sit in it?"
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"I actually think I'm going to do very well tonight. - ( Seat rattling )"
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"- Oh? - I'm just putting it out there."
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"while we're watching TV."
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"- That's sort of how I do it. - Uh-huh."
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"It doesn't blend well with the mixed nuts."
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"( Moans ) - for me, give me a chip any day."
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"What about a dip?"
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"- Right? - Yes! Ooh!"
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"Why? I thought you were gonna come upstairs."
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"my next round is fantastic because I don't care anymore."
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"( Emphatically ) I am done."
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"Larry: So she said she changed her mind."
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"But you know, the fact that you're wearing glasses,"
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"I perceive it as a little less idiotic than I normally would."
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"- It's interesting. - You're damn right."
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"- I'm making sense. - Slightly less stupid."
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"What the hell is this?"
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