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Clips from The Simpsons - A Father's Watch (S28E28)

"This pencil sharpener shaped like a nose?"
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"That's what it is? Now I like it even more!"
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"Is there anything you want to get rid of?"
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"Joy, joy, joy,"
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"joy, joy, joy, joy..."
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"Milhouse, get out of the way."
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"Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy,"
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"and Lisa's only "B." Super joy."
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"I don't want to alarm you, but grade point average:"
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"3.999999999..."
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"(screaming)"
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"(humming happily)"
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"Listen, Marge, you've had me throw a lot of things away"
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"that I really loved."
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"At long last, I'm Mr. Plow!"
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"I was thinking we might want to save my 2014 Joke-A-Day calendar,"
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"'cause the calendar's the same in the year 2031,"
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"and we're really gonna need some laughs then after World War China."
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"(quietly): You know what's not giving me joy is that Japanese book."
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"What I'm talking about is... Plopper."
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"(gasps) Spider-Pig?"
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"♪ Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig ♪"
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"♪ Does whatever ♪"
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"♪ A Spider-Pig does... ♪"
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"We've had him since you found him,"
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"but I'm the only one who takes care of him."
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"How hard can it be to clean up after a pig?"
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"(grunts)"
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"I am grateful beyond words."
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"What what was called?"
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"The word I just said."
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"(groans) Please, just promise you'll find him a new place to live."
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"(chuckles): Aw, ha-ha-ha."
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"(grunting, squealing)"
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"The music of our lives."
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"If you don't find a home for that pig,"
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"anything but that!"
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"Boy, I really don't want to get rid of the pig."
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"Can you talk to your mother?"
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"- We have a pig? - Oh, it's hopeless."
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"You know, I love this animal,"
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"so I'm gonna be very selective with his new owner."
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"Non-smoker only."
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"By which I mean he can't end up in your smoker."
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"(electronic ding)"
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"Wow, I've already got a taker."
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"Well, I'm sure he's a nice, reputable guy."
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"(rock music playing)"
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"Hello there."
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"Are you here for my pig?"
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"I might be. I have to make sure the bacon"
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"- is worth the takin'. - You better not eat him!"
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"I have to talk to him every night on the phone."
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"You make guys with a windowless van look bad!"
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"Need a ride?"
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"Sure."
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"- (rock music playing) - HOMER: So, what do you do?"
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"Oh my God!"
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"(Plopper squeals)"
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"A decluttered life is a happy life."
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"A decluttered life is a h... (gasps)"
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"Joyce Carol Oates!"
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"(gasps) Oh, no!"
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"I threw out my autograph book!"
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"Are you nuts? You had Dean Cain!"
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"I know I had Dean Cain!"
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"Dad, maybe she'll sign a menu."
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"Books and checks... that's all I sign."
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"What are you doin'?"
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"You keep-a that unsliced prosciutto outside my restaurant!"
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"Wait. How come he can bring a dog in,"
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"but my pig has to stay outside, like a common snowman?"
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"Because that-a dog is a therapy animal."
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"Don't lick my face... the makeup's lead-based."
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"But for calming down, I prefer my mama's methods."
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"She don't even-a work here."
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"So if I get that anxiety diagnosis,"
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"Plopper could follow me anywhere."
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"He could live in my office!"
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"Hey, what are the symptoms of anxiety?"
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"Oh, no, don't try that, Dad. You might get into trouble."
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"Just the thought of it is making me sweat."
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"Lisa, honey, Daddy will help you,"
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"right after you tell me the symptoms of anxiety."
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"(gasping): You're... looking at them!"
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"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry."
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"- It's okay. - It's... I know."
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"- I'm better now. - It's gonna be okay."
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"- It's okay. I'm better now. - All right, calm down."
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"Ooh. Heart's racing like a rabbit."
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"I have to sit down."
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"Oh, isn't that-a sweet?"
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"All the little children have-a the adult anxiety now."
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"Uh, yeah, I'm really anxious, Doc."
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"I'm not sleeping at night, I'm not sleeping at work..."
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"Okay, okay, I get it."
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"Here's your prescription for medicinal marijuana."
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"I don't want weed!"
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"I'd like a letter for a therapy animal"
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"of the pig persuasion."
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"Oh, you fakers disgust me!"
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"Get out! You're harshing my clinic."
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"How many opioids would you like?"
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"I don't want any!"
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"Oh, come on, you've got to be dependent on something."
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"I just want a prescription for a therapy pig."
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"Fine. Plus five opioids."
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"And one for the doctor."
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"Ah, ha."
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"Gee, I didn't realize you had gone this far."
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"A great musician only needs her instrument."
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"And underwear... 'cause this dress is mighty short."
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"Time for a riff of joy."
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"Uh? Holding this, I feel only hours of tedious practice."
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"Where is the joy?"
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"That was beautiful, honey!"
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"No, it wasn't."
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"the way you all do."
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"(long, deep gasp)"
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"(long, squealing gasp)"
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