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Clips from The Simpsons - Simpson and Delilah (S02E02)

"Bismarck."
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"-Blue. Red. -Green."
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"Hey, today I'm gonna do it."
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"Are you gonna use your sauce? Dry fish sticks! This sucks."
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"-Stop whining, chrome dome. -lf I had hair, you wouldn't say that."
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"Get a haircut, you hippie!"
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"-I don't want to think about it. -Daddy's home, sugar."
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"Homie, my sisters are here."
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"...and report to room 503 for reassignment to a better life."
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"You don't belong here. You don't belong here."
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"A man's suit should make him a prince."
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""Here I am. Don't judge me, love me.""
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"-Do any of these suits do that? -No."
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"Don't worry, this year you have an excuse."
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"Enjoy your tartar sauce, boys."
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"Brilliant!"
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"The key!"
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"I was watching the DuMont last night and I caught a documentary on Rommel."
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"Sure thing, Mr. Burns."
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"" $1000. Dimoxinil. To keep brain from freezing.""
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"An absence of mood swings and stability in my life."
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"Wait, Mr. Smithers. Homer Simpson is innocent. I did this."
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"Have I done something extraordinary here today? No."
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"-Bye, Karl. I'm gonna miss you. -Bye, Mr. Simpson."
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"But you've got your hair."
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"It's like reals-ville, daddy-o."
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"-I'm a big fool. -No, you're not."
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"Mining uranium that could be purchased on foreign markets."
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"You may find this hard to believe, but in my salad days..."
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"I was big man on campus until my senior year..."
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"The capital of North Dakota is named after what German ruler?"
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"-Hitler! -North Dakota?"
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"-Hitler? -I'm still beating you, boy."
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"The colors of the Italian flag are red, white and what?"
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"Black, green."
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"-Green. -I was right!"
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"We'll be right back with more Grade School Challenge."
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"I used to think hair loss was inevitable."
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"I found Dimoxinil, the breakthrough in hair regrowth."
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"Breakthrough? There's been a breakthrough?!"
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"Dimoxinil can help me grow as much or as little hair as I want to."
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"For your free brochure, send $5 to Dimoxinil."
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"Hair. Hair. Just like everybody else."
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"Some women find bald men quite virile."
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"Weren't you listening? This is a breakthrough."
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"Not one of these cheap-o sucker deals."
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"Allow me to present the Dimoxinil action set."
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"A six-month supply of the drug, gravity boots, scalp massager and a T-shirt."
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"-Great. How much? -$1000."
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"A thousand bucks? I can't afford that!"
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"We do have a product which is more in your price range."
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"However, any hair growth while using it will be coincidental."
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"A thousand bucks. Of all the rip-off screw job, cheap joint...."
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"Forget you, pal. Thanks for nothing."
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"So I say, "Forget you, pal. Thanks for nothing.""
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"-I storm right out. -That's telling them."
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"Out of tartar sauce. They call this a portion?"
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"Homer, don't be a sap."
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"Fill out some insurance forms. Charge Dimoxinil to the company."
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"It's $1000. Burns would can my butt."
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"Oh, $1000. So what?"
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"So he has one less ivory back scratcher."
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"You pay into the insurance fund. What do you get?"
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"Nothing. The newsletter."
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"Why get nothing while a guy who loses a finger hits the jackpot?"
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"You got me."
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"I'd like to charge that Dimoxinil stuff to my health insurance."
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"I don't know who put you up to this..."
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"...but no insurance plan covers something as frivolous as Dimoxinil!"
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"Meet me in the alley in 15 minutes. Come alone."
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"Dear God, give a bald guy a break. Amen."
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"I have hair. I have hair!"
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"Look, look!"
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"Morning, Springfield. Morning, Mr. and Mrs. Winfield."
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"-Good morning, Moe's Tavern! -It's the president."
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"-Good morning, everybody. -Good morning."
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"Good morning, everybody! Good morning, Springfield!"
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"Dimoxinil!"
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"Homer Simpson! You haven't been here in 20 years."
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"-You got rid of the sideburns. -Give me the usual."
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"He's much happier at work."
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"Just between us girls, he hasn't been this frisky in years."
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"Come here, you."
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"Dinner with three beautiful women. I must be in heaven."
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"This is Homer?"
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"You look different, Homer. Lose weight?"
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"You got a tan."
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"I know what it is, a new tie."
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"Pathetic morons in my employ, stealing my precious money."
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"None of these cretins deserves a promotion."
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"It's in the union contract. One token promotion per year."
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"Wait. Who is that young go-getter?"
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"Looks like Homer Simpson, only more dynamic and resourceful."
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"Simpson? An unspoiled lump of clay to mold in my own image."
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"Our new junior executive! Bring him to me."
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"Homer Simpson, you've been promoted. You're now an executive."
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"Take three minutes to say goodbye..."
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"Your "resume" seems in order. Do you have any specialties?"
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"Backrubs for harried executives. I'll show you."
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"No, that will be fine. Thank you, goodbye."
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"-Hello. -How's my big, important executive?"
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"Oh, Marge. Every woman I interview makes kissy faces at me."
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"Hello, Mr. Simpson. I'm Karl."
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"-Hire him. -I'll call you back."
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"Meeting in the board room tomorrow at 2."
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"-Sit there and keep your mouth shut. -Yes."
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"He thinks he's so big."
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"You're a fraud and a phony, and they'll find you out."
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"-Who told you? -You did."
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"With the way you talk into your chest..."
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"...the way you smother yourself in lime-green polyester."
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"I want you to say to yourself, "I deserve this."
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"I love it. I am nature's greatest miracle.""
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"Go ahead, say it."
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"Trust me, Homer."
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"-Say it! -I deserve it."
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"-Louder. -I deserve it!"
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"-Shout it. -I am nature's greatest miracle!"
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"-Three weeks' vacation plus expenses. -You got it!"
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"Let's go shopping."
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