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Clips from The Simpsons - Dancin' Homer (S02E02)

"2.50."
The Simpsons
"Little baby batter, can't control his bladder!"
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"Don't mind if I do."
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"A Simpson on a T-shirt! I never thought I'd see the day."
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"Oh yeah? And where might that be?"
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"-Wow! -Wow."
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"Mancini: the mascot's best friend."
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"Mr. Showmanship, the owner wants to see you in his office."
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"-So, what happened in Capital City? -Oh, Barney."
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"We're dying of curiosity."
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"The only thing worse than being a loser..."
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"...is being a guy telling the story of how he became a loser."
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"-I don't want that to happen to me. -Please, Homer?"
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"Well, okay."
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"It was "Nuclear Plant Employee, Spouses and No-More-Than-Three-Kids Night"..."
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"...down at Springfield Stadium."
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"I think we lost them. And we're at the ballpark! All right!"
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"Two birds with one stone! Okay, everybody out!"
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"Some of the players you see may make it to the big leagues."
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"-Will we see washed-up major leaguers? -Sure, there's a nice mix."
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"There's no better place to spend a balmy summers' night."
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"The grass of the outfield, the brick of the infield..."
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"...and the chalk lines that divide the man from the boy."
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"Lisa, you're forgetting the beer. It comes in 72-ounce tubs."
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"-Space out the tubs this year. -What do you mean?"
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"Last year you got rambunctious and mooned the umpire."
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"Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat."
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"It also gives me the right, no, the duty to make a complete ass of myself."
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"The Gammills! Good to see you."
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"You're an inspiration to us in Waste Management."
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"Forget about contaminants for one night and have a hot dog."
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"-Put a smile on his card, Smithers. -Already there, sir."
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"-The Simpsons, sir. -Well, if it isn't the Simps."
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"Oh, the Simpsons, sir."
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"Oh, yes. Homer and Marge Simpson."
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"Oh, and these must be Bart, Lisa and Expecting."
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"The card needs to be updated, sir."
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"That's okay. The baby's name isn't important. Let's go."
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"Red Hots! Get your Red Hots here!"
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"Flash Bailor! I gotta get his autograph. He was a star."
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"-Will you sign my ball? -No."
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"Lousy, washed-up, broken-down tub of guts!"
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"-Who does he think he is? -What's wrong?"
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"-He won't sign my ball. -He's a fine role model."
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"Bart, give me that ball."
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"Check out the mature quail heading over."
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"Little lady, what can Flash do for you?"
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"Here you go, Bart."
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""Springfield Kozy Kort Motel, Room 26. How about it? Flash.""
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"Wow, Flash Bailor came on to my wife!"
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"You've still got the magic, Marge."
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"Hey, Dad, look! You're on Jumbo-Vision!"
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"Hey, everybody! How you doing?"
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"Look at me! I'm Homer Simpson!"
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"Homer. Homer! X-Y-Z."
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"Examine my zipper? Why?"
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"-Thanks, everybody. -Throwing out tonight's first ball..."
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"...the man whose name is synonymous with the safest energy source:"
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"Mr. Montgomery Burns!"
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"-They love you. -As they should."
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"When I was a young buck..."
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"...my fade-away pitch was compared to the trouble ball of Satchel Paige."
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"-Spit on this for me, Smithers. -One hawker coming up, sir."
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"What a lame-o!"
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"-I could hear the air being torn, sir. -Oh, shut up!"
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"Hey, Burns! Hey, rag arm!"
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"-You throw like my sister! -Yeah, you throw like me!"
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"To honor America, please rise for our national anthem..."
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"...sung by Springfield's R & B sensation, "Bleeding Gums" Murphy."
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"Dan Horde, mikeside. Our Isotopes take on the Shelbyville Shelbyvillians."
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"We look to snap the longest losing streak in pro baseball."
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"How about that? We're in the record book!"
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"Sitting with the employees proves I'm their friend."
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"Get me an aisle seat. I don't want to be surrounded."
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"Let's go! Swing, batter!"
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"-We want a pitcher, not an itcher! -We want a catcher, not a scratcher!"
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"-Here we are, sir. -Oh, no!"
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"Sitting next to the boss. The best night of the year and it's ruined."
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"Of all the lousy, rotten...."
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"It just means you can't wave your fanny in public."
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"Rub it in."
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"-Beer here! Duff Beer! -Beer. Did you hear that, Marge?"
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"Delicious, frosty beer. Fat lot of good it does me sitting next to Burns."
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"Now, Homer."
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"-I suppose you want a beer? -Me, sir?"
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"Not a chance. Only idiots drink beer."
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"I wonder if you'd join me. My treat."
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"If someone of your stature can enjoy a beer, maybe I'm wrong on the subject."
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"-Are we having a drug test tomorrow? -No. Vendor, two, please."
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"The hitter's off his rocker, kissing Betty Crocker!"
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"Good one, sir!"
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"I used to rile Connie Mack with that one at old Shibe Park."
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"Crude, but I like it."
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"What do you say we freshen up our little drinkie-poos?"
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"-Well, Simpsie, up for another wave? -All right, Burnsie."
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"Bases loaded, 'Topes have 1 out, down by 3."
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"These banjos couldn't carry Pie Traynor's glove."
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"After Bill McCIoskey pops out, our post-game show starts."
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"Come on! All we need is a grand slam!"
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"My one game of the year, ruined by pathetic incompetence!"
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"What's wrong with you? Show some spirit!"
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"Your team needs you! Come on!"
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"As I got up, I felt an intoxication that had nothing to do with alcohol."
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"It was the intoxication of being a public spectacle."
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"Some nut's dancing!"
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"He has the crowd going. Can he shake up mediocre slugger Bill McCloskey?"
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"Swung on and belted to deep left field!"
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"Going, going, gone! It's out of here!"
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"Oh, my God! The Isotopes win a game! The Isotopes win a game!"
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"-That was certainly exciting. -Yes."
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"But Simpson's shameless display of exhibitionism tainted the evening."
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"He's banned for life from all company outings."
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"Way to go, Homer."
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"Thank you. You're too kind, but I can't take all the credit."
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"The batter did his part too."
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"Excuse me. You, the dancing fella."
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"I'm Antoine "Tex" O'Hara. I own the Isotopes."
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"-Would you like to be our mascot? -Me? A mascot for a bush-league team?"
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"I should've slept on it, or at least stared blankly."
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"If I hadn't thought of a nickname, all our lives might've been spared."
The Simpsons
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