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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Euclid Alternative (S02E02)

"We have to stop by Pottery Barn on the way to work."
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"I bought these Star Wars sheets."
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"I didn't."
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"Let's go."
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"Good night, Sheldon."
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"I didn't try, I succeeded."
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"Sheldon, what is it?"
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"Leonard's asleep."
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"Oh, dear God."
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"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was interrupting your morning prayers."
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"You know this is my day off, Sheldon."
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"- You're going up Euclid Avenue? - Mm-hm."
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"Well, good for Leonard."
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"Euclid Avenue is shorter as the crow flies, but it has speed bumps..."
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"But you have the con."
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"Do you know what the most common street name is?"
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"- No. - The answer's tricky."
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"Like Main Street..."
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"We also play games."
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"That would give me a Y."
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"Ooh, very clever. That's a tough one."
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"And you're left with "Mendelevium.""
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"...of an internal-combustion engine..."
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"Good. Perfect timing."
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"Now, how do you propose I get home?"
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"- How did you get here in the first place? - Penny."
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"But I sense that's not longer an option."
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"Look, I need to get to the laser lab."
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"Why did Howard leave you in the middle of the road, anyway?"
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"Whether or not he was trying to kill me."
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"And RadioShack. There's a sale on triple-A batteries."
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"You wanna go to Pottery Barn first?"
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"Maybe if I turn off the nightlight, I can keep the sheets."
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"Good morning."
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"Good morning."
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"You're hurting the people around you, sweetie."
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"So we've made you an appointment, and we want you to keep it."
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"This madness has to stop."
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"- Why Penny? - Because rock breaks scissors."
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"Good night."
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"Okay."
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"Fine."
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"- And the comic-book store. - All right."
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"I wanna go to the comic-book store."
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"Doing what?"
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"...of multi-loop N = 8 supergravity using modern twistor theory."
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"I'm actually more of a theorist."
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"Look at the sign up there."
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"- Yes? - Does it say, "I give a damn"?"
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"A car length is not a standardized unit of measure."
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"- Listen to that little girl, honey. Put C. Next. - No, no."
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"Wait, no, hang on. Take a look at this next question."
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"How else are they going to learn?"
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"Look, question two:"
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"Here's your learner's permit. Go away."
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"Next."
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"Booting."
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"This is a state-of-the-art simulator."
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"...behind the wheel of an up-armored Humvee?"
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"- What? - Statistically, red cars..."
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"Before it was digitally remastered."
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"Click."
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"- Are there air bags? - You don't need air bags."
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"What if a simulated van rear-ends me?"
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"I'll hit you in the face with a pillow."
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"Okay, now shift into drive."
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"And pull out slowly into traffic."
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"Student driver."
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"...flew off the overpass, and one thing led to another."
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"Maybe you wanna give it a rest and try again tomorrow."
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"Oh. The pet store."
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"I'm, uh, transcending the situation."
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"I'm clearly too evolved for driving."
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"I wonder a lot of things about you, Sheldon, but not that."
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"...as to say that I represent a distinct new stage in humankind."
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"Yes, you are. You're meant to learn how to drive."
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"...tomorrow morning?"
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"Homo novus doesn't know."
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"Maybe you'll evolve into something with wings."
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"- Good morning, gentlemen. - Hey."
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"Good morning."
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"...he decided to sleep in his office..."
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"- Good morning, Leonard. - Aah!"
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"Uh-huh."
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"They turned out to be much too stimulating to be compatible with a good night's sleep."
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"I don't like the way Darth Vader stares at me."
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"I'm not going to work."
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"Sheldon, I was up all night using the new free-electron laser..."
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"...for my x-ray-diffraction experiment."
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"Didn't I tell you I'd be working nights and you'd have to make other arrangements?"
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"- But how am I going to get to work? - Take the bus."
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"But I can't take the bus. They don't have seat belts."
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"And they won't let you lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords."
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"You tried to lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords?"
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"But for some reason, it alarmed the other passengers and I was asked to de-bus."
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"Don't talk to me like I'm a child."
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"Now take me to return my Star Wars sheets."
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"Penny? Penny?"
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"Thanks for the update."
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"You have to drive me to work."
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"But I don't drive and I can't take the bus."
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"You'll be fine as long as you don't do that bungee thing."
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"Didn't you recently state that you and I are friends?"
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"Yes, Sheldon, we are friends."
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"Then I hereby invoke what I'm given to understand..."
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"...is an integral part of the implied covenant of friendship."
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"The favor."
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"When you're done, we'll go."
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"Oh, good, I'm not keeping you from anything."
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"- Your check-engine light is on. - Mm-hm."
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"Typically that's an indicator to, you know, check your engine."
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"It's fine. It's been on for, like, a month."
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"- Sheldon, it's fine. - lf it were fine, the light wouldn't be on."
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"That's why the manufacturer installed that light, to let you know it's not fine."
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"Maybe the light's broken."
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"What?"
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"Studies have shown that performing tasks such as eating, talking on a phone..."
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"...or drinking coffee while driving reduces one's reaction time..."
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"...by the same factor as an ounce of alcohol."
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"- Do you have any alcohol? - Of course not."
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