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Clips from Son of Zorn - The War of the Workplace (S01E01)

"And it's killing me inside. You know what?"
Son of Zorn
"and... ah, he can't hear me."
Son of Zorn
"[children screaming, impact]"
Son of Zorn
"ZORN: Oh, oh, oh! And this, right here, this is"
Son of Zorn
"Those documents are now a nest."
Son of Zorn
"That's an inside joke. From-from people at school."
Son of Zorn
"- so I could help you. - Yeah, Alan..."
Son of Zorn
"you look them directly in the eye, and you say,"
Son of Zorn
"Okay. [chuckles] I'm not gonna do that. Super weird, 'cause,"
Son of Zorn
"also, not necessary at all. 'Cause nothing's happening."
Son of Zorn
"- I'm not being picked on. - He's definitely being picked on,"
Son of Zorn
"Oh, man. Did you crumple up my turkey sandwich again?"
Son of Zorn
"Would you like to... fight about it, maybe?"
Son of Zorn
"What am I supposed to do for lunch?"
Son of Zorn
"Well, strange visitor from "across the hall," you do"
Son of Zorn
"Nice panties, dude."
Son of Zorn
"ZORN: At this point, it could be anywhere."
Son of Zorn
"with a beak face on the planet!"
Son of Zorn
"He took the Staff of Quiv!"
Son of Zorn
"Zorn... the guy just borrowed our hot sauce."
Son of Zorn
"Zorn, that's not what I'm saying!"
Son of Zorn
"Zorn's a-coming for ya. [phone rings, echoes]"
Son of Zorn
"What kind of armor does he wear? Is it enchanted?"
Son of Zorn
"[rumbling in vent, metal scraping]"
Son of Zorn
"You gonna pee in there to keep yourself warm?"
Son of Zorn
"Nothing, never mind."
Son of Zorn
"Insecurity? What am I insecure about?"
Son of Zorn
"So... I can't like T-shirts?"
Son of Zorn
"Hootenanny? A brouhaha?"
Son of Zorn
"You let me know next time there's a fight, I want to see it."
Son of Zorn
"The hot sauce is located in the far northeast corner."
Son of Zorn
"making my way to the breakroom to get some hard candy."
Son of Zorn
"[coughing] [running steps]"
Son of Zorn
"Are you serious? Because a good friend of mine"
Son of Zorn
"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm."
Son of Zorn
"and just, like things happened, whatever."
Son of Zorn
"I myself developed a pretty useful maneuver back in the day."
Son of Zorn
"See, I can't hear you, Zorn, 'cause I'm in my turtle shell."
Son of Zorn
"- Of course you can hear me. - No, I didn't hear that either."
Son of Zorn
"Okay, come at me. Try to punch me."
Son of Zorn
"- Don't kill him! - Edie, that was so hot!"
Son of Zorn
"[war drums, vocals]"
Son of Zorn
"This is your last chance, Zorn."
Son of Zorn
"He ransacked the yogurts"
Son of Zorn
"Well, the battle resumes."
Son of Zorn
"I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to touch you again."
Son of Zorn
"[exhales]"
Son of Zorn
"What in God's name is the meaning of this?"
Son of Zorn
"- No, no, please don't. - Aw, fine!"
Son of Zorn
"Sorry I took your stupid snacks."
Son of Zorn
"No... come on!"
Son of Zorn
"We can switch weapons!"
Son of Zorn
"When you came out of your mom,"
Son of Zorn
"Whatever, I can't understand you 'cause I don't speak whale."
Son of Zorn
"I can't hear you. I'm in my shell."
Son of Zorn
"Strong-arming clients, scrapping for your bonus,"
Son of Zorn
"Yeah, 'cause it's an amazing story!"
Son of Zorn
"♪ Zorn, Zorn, Zorn ♪"
Son of Zorn
"Ruining my song with his beautiful voice!"
Son of Zorn
"[lute twangs off-key, pieces clatter]"
Son of Zorn
"[music]"
Son of Zorn
"[metal thumps]"
Son of Zorn
"ZORN: Ah-ha! Castle Craig has fallen!"
Son of Zorn
"Zorn, why is everything"
Son of Zorn
"- a battle with you? - What?"
Son of Zorn
"This is, like, the least amount of battling I've ever done."
Son of Zorn
"I'm gonna rise above this."
Son of Zorn
"Hey, Alan. You want to get in the water,"
Son of Zorn
"- and help me do an underwater flip? - Uh... No thanks. It takes, like,"
Son of Zorn
"- three hours for my hair to dry. - All right, well..."
Son of Zorn
"Where's your mom? She's not one"
Son of Zorn
"- to turn down a cool dip. - EDIE: Sorry!"
Son of Zorn
"I was just using the bathroom!"
Son of Zorn
"EDIE: Oh, no. What happened?"
Son of Zorn
"My peaceful kingdom was destroyed by a meanie."
Son of Zorn
"- Edie, tell Craig to speak up! - EDIE: Well, honey,"
Son of Zorn
"- I warned you not to build it there. - That's right, Craig!"
Son of Zorn
"Retreat to the ocean!"
Son of Zorn
"Along with the whales and octopuses,"
Son of Zorn
"All right, let's see what else we got here."
Son of Zorn
"Who else wants to challenge the throne? Mm."
Son of Zorn
"Oh, look at these wannabes."
Son of Zorn
"[thumping metal, careening]"
Son of Zorn
"[children crying]"
Son of Zorn
"Oh, I miss that sound."
Son of Zorn
"[title music]"
Son of Zorn
"[grunts softly]"
Son of Zorn
"WARREN: Hey, Earl Sweatpants! [laughs]"
Son of Zorn
"Why aren't you wearing shorts, you turd?"
Son of Zorn
"What are you hiding under there, nipple knees? [laughter]"
Son of Zorn
"Oh, I get it. You're wearing sweatpants to hide your diaper."
Son of Zorn
"[laughter continues]"
Son of Zorn
"[indistinct chatter]"
Son of Zorn
"GYM TEACHER: Just a reminder, guys, we got the swim unit"
Son of Zorn
"coming up next, so... don't forget to bring your trunks."
Son of Zorn
"Head-butt Man and me battling our way down Corpse Mountain."
Son of Zorn
"[chuckles] Now, I don't have to tell you, but that place"
Son of Zorn
"- is crawling with dagger-tooths. - Totally, man."
Son of Zorn
"Oh, man. That was the life."
Son of Zorn
"It was so exciting! You know?"
Son of Zorn
"Everyday was a battle, and every Friday, a casual battle."
Son of Zorn
"Oh, by the way, the reason why the printer won't work"
Son of Zorn
"is because you have to actually hit print."
Son of Zorn
"You know, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the sting"
Son of Zorn
"of blood in my eyes, the smell of steaming intestines"
Son of Zorn
"and the painful sores on my lips."
Son of Zorn
"From battle, which... resurface every six months or so."
Son of Zorn
"- Yeah. - Zorn."
Son of Zorn
"We don't have a raven. That bird on the ledge outside is a pigeon."
Son of Zorn
"So... overnight 'em yourself."
Son of Zorn
"[music] Alan, how do you like your tofu?"
Son of Zorn
"Uh, medium, I guess?"
Son of Zorn
"- "Swamp butt"? - CRAIG: Hm? Oh, you know what?"
Son of Zorn
"They were just fooling around, yeah."
Son of Zorn
"- "Alan eats a horse's..." Oh, my... - Oh! Yeah, that, uh..."
Son of Zorn
"- That is bad... - Ah, ha-ha! Wow!"
Son of Zorn
"Guys are fooling around out here."
Son of Zorn
"- Are you being picked on at school? - What? No! I-I don't..."
Son of Zorn
"Why are you holding your backpack like that?"
Son of Zorn
"Oh, this is a, uh... it's better for your back, actually."
Son of Zorn
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