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Clips from Scrubs - My Office (S04E04)

"Dr Cox was gonna name me the new chief resident."
Scrubs
"How do I know? Well, I'm the only one who applied."
Scrubs
"But I'm also the only one who's focused enough to..."
Scrubs
"Let me get this straight. You crash into their truck, and they drive you to work?"
Scrubs
"We didn't come straight here."
Scrubs
"Come on, Dorian, you gotta want it!"
Scrubs
"It wasn't all bad."
Scrubs
"Yes, she was hot! But I wasn't a fan."
Scrubs
"She's always calling me Johnny. Also, she wasn't very nice."
Scrubs
"What are you gonna do now your residencies are over?"
Scrubs
"Dr Kelso said I'm the first medical resident"
Scrubs
"I'm looking forward to cataloguing the genetic variations of hirsutism."
Scrubs
"Really? Excuse me for taking an interest in hormonal regulatory research..."
Scrubs
"I still think you'd make a good chief resident."
Scrubs
"Dr Cox is naming ass-face here at 3.00."
Scrubs
"Thank you, Frank."
Scrubs
"Please, sir, I totally get that. How could a hospital be a chicken?"
Scrubs
"Focus on nothing else."
Scrubs
"When Elliot asked if she could run for chief resident, that was a goof, right?"
Scrubs
"Well, JoJo, right now she's winning."
Scrubs
"Let me know how to get on top. I'll do anything. Even if I have to kill!"
Scrubs
"Start by getting the light bulb out of this genius's pooper."
Scrubs
"Hit the water!"
Scrubs
"I'll impress him some other way. Doug! Stay positive."
Scrubs
"Actually, no, he's not my cousin. And his name isn't Perry. It's Jeff."
Scrubs
"You stole my moment, and you will pay."
Scrubs
"Molly helped me fill out my chief resident application,"
Scrubs
"so, gonna give it to Dr Cox."
Scrubs
"Excuse me."
Scrubs
"I decided not to share it with Elliot."
Scrubs
"Well, I'm off to Pilates."
Scrubs
"I told him all about the surgery and he's good to go."
Scrubs
"So what do you say we yank out that gallbladder?"
Scrubs
"You said you told him."
Scrubs
"Have one, baby. You'll feel better."
Scrubs
"the one people love to hate."
Scrubs
"than it is to become self-destructive by overindulging a sweet tooth."
Scrubs
"- What? - It's 3.00."
Scrubs
"Who's gonna tell my mom?"
Scrubs
"with 10,000 "John Dorian, Chief Resident" business cards?"
Scrubs
"What, and miss your hall of fame hissy? Not on your life. Walk with me."
Scrubs
"- Shaking him like a beach towel. - Goodbye."
Scrubs
"I paged a surgical consult."
Scrubs
"- It burns! - Ammonia burns?"
Scrubs
"I'd be happier if I didn't have to share the job with such a jerk."
Scrubs
"- Oh, no. - Don't worry. Everyone's anonymous."
Scrubs
"Great. Maybe we could make it permanent."
Scrubs
"The way I see it, you guys can get past it and talk like adults,"
Scrubs
"- I'll take Doug. - Yes! Suck on that."
Scrubs
"- Pick the hot chick. - Shut up, Doug!"
Scrubs
"We'll take the hot chick."
Scrubs
"I've got a two-hour break between patients."
Scrubs
"And you're naked."
Scrubs
"It's not a rabbit in a hat. If you tug on it, it's going to break,"
Scrubs
"So why don't you just play quietly in your area until the crowd arrives?"
Scrubs
"Oh, stop it. Hey, are you and your wife open-minded?"
Scrubs
"What are you still doing here?"
Scrubs
"What you have there is an A-21 bulb on an E-26 base,"
Scrubs
"with some of Dr Reid's residents."
Scrubs
"That's good, Todd. Keep going."
Scrubs
"- How's it going in here? - Go away!"
Scrubs
"It's a competition about who can be stubborn the longest."
Scrubs
"No one was thanking me, so I quit cleaning them."
Scrubs
"They're structurally weak at the narrow end. The round end is strong."
Scrubs
"I concur."
Scrubs
"Doug wanted me to give this patient 500,000 milligrams of morphine."
Scrubs
"You couldn't pay me to come."
Scrubs
"I have a rich uncle who'd do anything for me,"
Scrubs
"One milligram epi."
Scrubs
"The best thing about this place"
Scrubs
"Apparently she can't get enough of it at home. Right? Right?"
Scrubs
"- Where'd you get the coat? - I earned it."
Scrubs
"Let's get our moment."
Scrubs
"I know. Remember our first code?"
Scrubs
"Well, I remember hiding in a supply closet."
Scrubs
"Ultimately, conflict is resolved"
Scrubs
"Or by uniting against the moment-stealing common enemy"
Scrubs
"As long as you're friends again."
Scrubs
"Me too."
Scrubs
"We should go get coffee."
Scrubs
"Shoot!"
Scrubs
"- See ya tomorrow! - Will do."
Scrubs
"Or maybe I was nervous because at 3.00"
Scrubs
"Oh, God!"
Scrubs
"Hold up. They made you move furniture?"
Scrubs
"Dr Molly Clock, the new attending psychiatrist."
Scrubs
"Sit with us. We'll make room, even if I have to stand."
Scrubs
"What a bitch."
Scrubs
"Plus, she's always with Elliot,"
Scrubs
"and since I dumped her, we weren't getting along great."
Scrubs
"Anybody got any extra ketchup packets?"
Scrubs
"Thank you, Elliot."
Scrubs
"I'm still a resident."
Scrubs
"- That's a bad thing. - I'm staying positive."
Scrubs
"For the five-billionth time, I'm not interested."
Scrubs
"- You'd be a great chief resident. - You do?"
Scrubs
"Sorry, ladies. Job's taken."
Scrubs
"- It's too late. - Maybe it's not too late."
Scrubs
"- Yeah, it is, Carla. - Maybe it's not."
Scrubs
"- You're right. - What the hell?"
Scrubs
"- They're against you. - I'm invisible, I'm invisible..."
Scrubs
"- Dr Cox? - Goddamn it!"
Scrubs
"She asked, without a prayer."
Scrubs
"Sure. Why not?"
Scrubs
"Raise it, raise it"
Scrubs
"You OK, buddy?"
Scrubs
"I just needed to talk to someone."
Scrubs
"Tough break, JD."
Scrubs
"You've dreamed of being chief resident since you were a boy in Trotwood, Ohio."
Scrubs
"What? How does he know that?"
Scrubs
"What do you think, Perry?"
Scrubs
"Either this kid has a light bulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea."
Scrubs
"- Excuse us, Lyle. - Come on, newbie."
Scrubs
"Don't tell me. He donated a wing."
Scrubs
"- He donated a wing, thigh and a breast. - Sir?"
Scrubs
"Yes, genius, in this metaphor the hospital is a chicken."
Scrubs
"What a jerk."
Scrubs
"Ran all those tests on Mr Landesman."
Scrubs
"Top-notch work there, Barbie. She's good."
Scrubs
"She's very, very, very good."
Scrubs
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