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Clips from Scrubs - My Moment of Un-Truth (S03E03)

"I get that you and Carla have been hanging out,"
Scrubs
"- Come on. - Enough beads."
Scrubs
"Fine."
Scrubs
"Only because Jasper becomes an innie when he gets nervous."
Scrubs
"- Still... Friends forever. - Friends forever."
Scrubs
"Of course, not all relationships are as solid as Carla's and mine."
Scrubs
"Dr Reid, why are you using standard macrolides to treat your patient"
Scrubs
"instead of Clo-Veritol?"
Scrubs
"From Connecticut."
Scrubs
"I roughly think that would be the faint sound of your patient vomiting."
Scrubs
"Get back to me."
Scrubs
"Later."
Scrubs
"That means "I'll be seeing you later.""
Scrubs
"- How else am I supposed to know? - I'm saying."
Scrubs
"That ass warrants the Batman sound-effect salute."
Scrubs
"- Tushy parts? - Thanks for having my back."
Scrubs
"When you work in a hospital,"
Scrubs
"or the plastic surgeon who's returned after fixing cleft palates"
Scrubs
"in Third World countries."
Scrubs
"I told you no one would care."
Scrubs
"Sometimes, a new face will just outright surprise you."
Scrubs
"Maybe you know him, he's the janitor here. My name's Roscoe."
Scrubs
"- Don't put it that way in your vows. - Let's see how he likes it. Hey, honey."
Scrubs
"It's good. That's because Estelle puts extra croutons into the stuffing."
Scrubs
"It's such a fine, chiselled, dig-your-nails-into-it kind of ass!"
Scrubs
"- Carla? - Ron!"
Scrubs
"- Kudos on the nice pooper. - Thank you."
Scrubs
"- but how's the pain in your abdomen? - Almost gone."
Scrubs
"Besides, my mom is bringing by the kids later"
Scrubs
"No, seriously, she's a drunk."
Scrubs
"There's nothing worse than people with a history."
Scrubs
"- You didn't hear? - Say you heard."
Scrubs
"- No. - Damn you."
Scrubs
"Steve went to care for his parents. Then Shari started seeing Dr Harding."
Scrubs
"Rafting."
Scrubs
"but your pain guy is like a million other drug addicts"
Scrubs
"who walk into hospitals with their aches and pains"
Scrubs
"Would you like to go out on a limb? Sign him in, keep him overnight?"
Scrubs
"If you're captain, pick me. I'll be "We always play together"."
Scrubs
"- I asked you a question. - You're better than this."
Scrubs
"Can someone say, "keep rocking"?"
Scrubs
"But, I used to have such a crush on the guy."
Scrubs
"Hey, Carla. I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner with me tonight?"
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, what?"
Scrubs
"Everyone thinks it's guys who freak out before a wedding,"
Scrubs
"Ron. Ron. He's not just some guy, JD."
Scrubs
"The one I idealised, you know?"
Scrubs
"If we go out and I feel nothing, you know how confident I'll feel about Turk?"
Scrubs
"That she's a sorceress."
Scrubs
"Damn beads."
Scrubs
"his doctor couldn't diagnose him and just threw painkillers at him instead."
Scrubs
"- Yeah, so where do you want to sit? - How about here?"
Scrubs
"We have a lovely selection of condoms."
Scrubs
"- Uncool! - What were you thinking about?"
Scrubs
"And that, boys, is a brotherly handshake."
Scrubs
"Other times it's as clear as day."
Scrubs
"unless you had the unnatural talent for being wrong most the time."
Scrubs
"- Hey. You got a minute to talk? - Do you wanna talk about anything?"
Scrubs
"I've been thinking about Carla nagging me."
Scrubs
"let's face it, the woman lives and dies for me."
Scrubs
"- every time I look at a woman? - Don't put it that way in your vows."
Scrubs
"Nah, it's on hold, the director dropped out."
Scrubs
"- I'm so glad we did this. - Me too."
Scrubs
"but I'm back the last week in April. Maybe we can get together then."
Scrubs
"Mr Thompson, I'd like to prescribe you something for the pain."
Scrubs
"Then between getting a tube in my ass and a tube in my mouth,"
Scrubs
"which I'm praying wasn't the same tube, I found time to writhe in pain,"
Scrubs
"but I didn't know if you were watching. So, please, why don't you say it?"
Scrubs
"Awesome."
Scrubs
"I don't think Turk will be as excited about your date as you."
Scrubs
"He definitely won't love the fact that I knew about it."
Scrubs
"You did what?"
Scrubs
"Sorry."
Scrubs
"Yuk it up. I don't care."
Scrubs
"He's gonna be staring right at you two guys."
Scrubs
"It's hard when you lose for the first time."
Scrubs
"How did you know that he was lying?"
Scrubs
"I mean, hell, would you like to have a look at who the last doctor was"
Scrubs
"to give Thompson drugs?"
Scrubs
"Give up my front-row seat to "Barbie's Wild Ride"?"
Scrubs
""He's a drug addict. He's not a drug addict. You make me doubt myself.""
Scrubs
"You can never underestimate how the smallest gesture"
Scrubs
"Really?"
Scrubs
"but pretending you're gonna steal her from me makes you seem sad, pathetic,"
Scrubs
"- and very Ionely. - Your woman wants me so bad,"
Scrubs
"we've developed our own shorthand with each other."
Scrubs
"- That means "good morning." - Noted."
Scrubs
"How was Mardi Gras night?"
Scrubs
"- No more flashing. - More beads. Come on!"
Scrubs
"Sounds pretty embarrassing."
Scrubs
"Clo-Veritol is a drug?"
Scrubs
"what with all the free golf trips they've sent you on."
Scrubs
"What did the research for Clo-Veritol say, sir?"
Scrubs
"Check out Barbie, Boo-hottie, slamming Big Bob. That a girl."
Scrubs
"I've spent the last three years in this hospital getting pushed around"
Scrubs
"Still, let's remember that you can't even drive the doctor-car"
Scrubs
"without daddy sitting right there beside you."
Scrubs
"Two medications that I guarantee you are gonna make her nauseous."
Scrubs
"My patient is fine, and I don't need you..."
Scrubs
"I gotta give Mr Ingram his meds, so later."
Scrubs
""Pick up your socks, stop whispering 'Boo-yah' to JD after we have sex.""
Scrubs
"I'm not giving her any more ammo. There is no way she'll be able to bust my..."
Scrubs
"Damn!"
Scrubs
"you can count on a changing roster of new faces."
Scrubs
"So, if any of you are interested"
Scrubs
"in following in the philanthropic footsteps of Dr Ramirez,"
Scrubs
"he has graciously offered to answer any of your questions."
Scrubs
"- What the hell are you doing? - Me?"
Scrubs
"I should marry someone who will stare at women the rest of my life?"
Scrubs
"What up, baby?"
Scrubs
"- And yet the salads suffer. - I am talking about that man's ass."
Scrubs
"- Mine's firm, like mutton. - Lovely."
Scrubs
"OK, Mr Thompson, we've got your fever down,"
Scrubs
"Really?"
Scrubs
"- A trick I picked up in med school. - I think my insides exploded."
Scrubs
"I suspect you've got pancreatitis, so we'll run LFTs and do an ultrasound."
Scrubs
"In the meantime, I'll prescribe you something for your pain."
Scrubs
"No, please, don't sweat it. I'm used to the pain."
Scrubs
"and I figure there should be at least one sober adult in the room."
Scrubs
"- You... - Stop it."
Scrubs
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