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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart Gets Hit by a Car (S02E02)

"Howdy, stranger!"
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"Here's the good part. You can cash in on this tragedy!"
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"-I heard Mr. Burns crushed your boy. -Yeah."
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"In here, Mr. Simpson."
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"-Any calls, Della? -Calls? Oh, "calls" !"
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"A million dollars?"
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"Now we'll get a real doctor's opinion."
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"...and that he's not like other men."
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"They hate me? What trial were you watching?"
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"A princely sum--"
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"I feel faint."
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"Yes, he's been our family physician and friend..."
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"This court heard expert testimony from one Dr. Nick Riviera."
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"And his office was dirty!"
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"-No. -String beans?"
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"Good, Homer!"
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"-I love you too! -Sorry to scare you like that, babe."
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"I think the boy's hurt."
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"Just give him a nickel and let's get going!"
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"I think we should call an ambulance, sir."
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"Hey, cool. I'm dead!"
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"Please hold on to the handrail."
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"Do not spit over the side."
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"Aunt Hortense. Great-grandpa Simpson."
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"Snowball!"
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"Do not spit over the side."
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"We told you to hold on to the handrail."
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"We asked you not to spit over the side."
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"I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?"
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"Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm the devil!"
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"You've earned eternal damnation for your evil deeds."
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"-Spitting just clinched it. -Hey, I'm innocent, man!"
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"Innocent! Everybody's innocent."
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"Okay, let's just pull up your file here."
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"It's a mistake. You're due to arrive when the Yankees win the pennant."
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"Nearly a century from now. Boy, is my face red!"
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"Bart!"
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"Is there anything I can do to avoid coming back here?"
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"Sure, but you wouldn't like it."
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"-Okay. See you later. -Bye!"
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"Remember, lie, cheat, steal and listen to heavy metal music!"
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"Yes, sir!"
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"Dr. Warner, wanted in radiology."
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"-He's awake! -Oh, Bart!"
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"We thought you'd gone away from us."
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"I did go away, Mom!"
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"I was miles away, writhing in agony in the pits of hell!"
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"And you were there! And you. And you. And you."
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"You I've never seen before."
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"Yeah, I saw you chasing Bart's ambulance."
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"Lionel Hutz is the name. Attorney at law. My card."
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"-It turns into a sponge in water. -Classy."
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"Would you like to bring legal action against the fiend who did this?"
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"The fiend who did this to my boy is my boss."
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"Besides, the doctor says it's just a bump on the head and a broken toe."
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"Doctors are idiots!"
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"He might have permanent injuries. You may have to wait on him..."
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"...for the rest of his life! That's the downside."
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"-Excuse me, are you a shyster? -How does a nice girl know that word?"
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"Mr. Hutz, this is hardly the time to discuss this."
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"You're right. When you're up to it, come to my office and we'll talk."
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"Lionel Hutz, attorney at law. Is that a broken neck? Great!"
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"-Hello, Dr. Hibbert. -Hello, Lisa."
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"-We've got a nasty bump on our head. -Quit it!"
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"-And a tiny broken toe. -Quit it!"
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"Is he well enough for me to start mothering him?"
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"Better let him rest a while."
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"If I wasn't so spineless, I'd march into Mr. Burns' office now and--"
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"Simpson! Burns wants you to march into his office now!"
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"Simpson, at last we meet."
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"Nice to meet you too, sir."
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"My attorneys advised me to pay for running over your child."
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"-So I'm cutting you a check. -Really? Great."
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"$100. Of course, you'll have to sign a waiver..."
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"...relinquishing your right to sue."
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"100 bucks? It's a generous offer, sir, but his medical bills alone--"
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"So extortion is the name of your game?"
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"Then you get nothing! I have the finest lawyers in Springfield."
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"Tangle with me, and I'll crush you like a paper cup."
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"Throw him out, Smithers!"
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"You don't have to do that. I can throw myself out."
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"Lionel Hutz."
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"The Supreme Court called. They need your help on a freedom thing."
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"Tell them to sit tight. I'll get back to them. This way, Mr. Simpson."
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"You sure have got some education."
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"Yes, Harvard, Yale, MIT, Oxford, the Sorbonne, the Louvre."
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"Oh, well."
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"Mr. Simpson, the state bar forbids me..."
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"...from promising you a big cash settlement."
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"But just between you and me, I promise you..."
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"...a big cash settlement. My fee is 50 percent."
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"-50 percent? -You'll be getting more than a lawyer!"
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"You'll also get this faux pearl necklace..."
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"...a $99 value, as our gift."
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"I don't know. You and I might have different ideas..."
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"...about how big a big cash settlement is."
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"I stand corrected! A million bucks is A-Okay!"
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"Bad news!"
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"Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at the X-rays!"
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"You see that dark spot there? Whiplash."
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"Oh, no!"
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"And this smudge that looks like my fingerprint?"
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"No. That's trauma!"
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"-Am I going to die? -Yes, son!"
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"Homer!"
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"No, of course you won't. Everything's fine."
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"-Will I ever play baseball again? -No!"
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"-But I played this morning. -That's right, he did."
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"Dr. Hibbert has been our physician for years. He thought Bart was fine."
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"Oh, Dr. Hibbert, from Johns Hopkins Medical School."
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"Mrs. Simpson, you're not a doctor. He's not, I'm not."
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"The only person here who comes close is him."
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"Stop, you're embarrassing me!"
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"Are you sure there isn't soft tissue trauma in the face?"
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"Oh, yeah. Tons of it. Just say when."
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"A million dollars? Smithers! I want this Homer Simpson fired!"
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"Do you think that's wise? Think of the headlines."
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"What about them?"
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"They might be critical of you firing him so soon after the accident."
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"All right then. I don't want to seem like an ogre."
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