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Clips from Family Guy - Brian's Got a Brand New Bag (S08E08)

"Well, let me at least leave my car-insurance information for her."
Family Guy
"- Is that your condom? - No! I mean..."
Family Guy
"I mean, I wasn't gonna use that on your daughter."
Family Guy
"I mean, I wouldn't... I would not use a condom on your daughter."
Family Guy
"I mean, I would if I was having sex with her,"
Family Guy
"which obviously I would not do. But if... I mean..."
Family Guy
"You know, it's not because I have a lot of sex. I just..."
Family Guy
"I just eat a lot of poo off the street."
Family Guy
"Come to think of it, how did this get in my wallet in the first place?"
Family Guy
"'"somewhere between the point when you're excited enough to want it"
Family Guy
"'"and too excited to care, think about your future."
Family Guy
"'"Your friend, Stewie. '""
Family Guy
"- Sorry to bother you. - Lf it's any consolation,"
Family Guy
"I would never have stood you up."
Family Guy
"Well, I guess that makes you one of the rare ones nowadays."
Family Guy
"- Your husband's a lucky guy. - Divorced."
Family Guy
"Oh."
Family Guy
"Well, at the risk of humiliating myself once again,"
Family Guy
"- I still have a reservation. - Well, I don't have plans."
Family Guy
"Well, terrific."
Family Guy
"Hey, maybe I'll get to use this after all, huh? I'm just... I'm kidding."
Family Guy
"Oh, please. At my age, I don't have to worry about pregnancy."
Family Guy
"- How old are you? - Oh, you don't want to know."
Family Guy
"- I kind of do. - Hang on."
Family Guy
"Wow, she seems great!"
Family Guy
"We're getting along better than Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown."
Family Guy
"- You want to smoke some crack? - You want to smoke some crack?"
Family Guy
"- I love you. - I love you."
Family Guy
"Get the fucking crack!"
Family Guy
"Brian, you want some lasagna?"
Family Guy
"No, thanks. Rita and I grabbed a bite already."
Family Guy
"Gosh, you've been seeing this Rita for weeks now"
Family Guy
"and you still haven't brought her over to the house."
Family Guy
"When are we gonna meet the lovely lady, huh?"
Family Guy
"Oh, she's being ironic."
Family Guy
"What are you saying? I don't date lovely women?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, you got it. You got it."
Family Guy
"No. It just seems like some of your past girlfriends"
Family Guy
"have been a little dumb and trampy."
Family Guy
"First of all, that's not true, and second of all, she's not like that."
Family Guy
"She's wonderful. She's smart. She's pretty."
Family Guy
"And, you know, the only reason I haven't brought her around"
Family Guy
"is that you guys don't always make the best impression with girls I date."
Family Guy
"Especially Peter."
Family Guy
"Hey, aren't you that chick from the bathroom door?"
Family Guy
"Come on, Peter. She doesn't want to talk about work."
Family Guy
"What's it like in there?"
Family Guy
"I assume it's like how it is in the men's room."
Family Guy
"Oh, there's a long trough with a big poo in it?"
Family Guy
"You know, Brian, the past few weeks have been great."
Family Guy
"I can't remember the last time I've had this much fun dating somebody."
Family Guy
"I can remember the last time I have."
Family Guy
"That's the writer in you, Brian."
Family Guy
"Well, actually, I really thought I was gonna be an actor at one point."
Family Guy
"I even got a few high-profile gigs."
Family Guy
"Oh, you ever heard of a tiny little independent movie called Die Hard?"
Family Guy
"Wow! You were in that?"
Family Guy
"Sure was. Hey, what do you say we go back to my place and I'll show it to you?"
Family Guy
"Sounds good to me."
Family Guy
"We'll have to be a little quiet. Everyone's asleep. Have a seat."
Family Guy
"Okay, watch this. This is my scene."
Family Guy
"Doesn't make sense, man."
Family Guy
"Hey, don't ask me, man."
Family Guy
"I'm just a desk jockey who was on my way home when you rang."
Family Guy
"The way you drove that car, I figured you for the street, Al."
Family Guy
"In my youth. In my youth... - Okay, here it comes. Watch. Watch."
Family Guy
"We've had situations"
Family Guy
"where the hostages have embraced their captors after their release"
Family Guy
"and even corresponded with them in prison."
Family Guy
"No, no. No, darling. Asian Dawn. Dawn. D-A-W-N."
Family Guy
"- Sir? - Yeah?"
Family Guy
"Sir, the FBI is here."
Family Guy
"- Oh, the FBI is here now? - Yes, sir. Right over there."
Family Guy
"- Hold this. - Want a breath mint?"
Family Guy
"Breath mint."
Family Guy
"I ad-libbed that line."
Family Guy
"Well, I had no idea I was dating a famous actor."
Family Guy
"Oh. Good morning."
Family Guy
"- Oh. Hey, Lois. - Who's... Who's your friend?"
Family Guy
"- Rita, this is Lois. Lois, Rita. - So great to meet you."
Family Guy
"- Lovely to meet you. - Perfect. Everyone hits it off."
Family Guy
"Listen, Rita, why don't you wait in the car?"
Family Guy
"- I'll be out in a minute. - Okay, sweetie."
Family Guy
"Well, you met her. What do you think?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! Peter, did you see her?"
Family Guy
"I'm looking at her now! I can see her from the window up here."
Family Guy
"Hey, anybody make a Jessica Tandy joke yet?"
Family Guy
"- No! Awesome. I'll be right down."
Family Guy
"Hey, Brian, who are you dating? Jessica Tandy?"
Family Guy
"What are you guys talking about? She's a beautiful woman."
Family Guy
"You know, Lois, you, of all people, should be pleased."
Family Guy
"I mean, all the crap I take for dating young bimbos."
Family Guy
"How old is she, Brian?"
Family Guy
"What difference does it make? Age has nothing to do with anything."
Family Guy
"Okay, you know what? I'll bring her to dinner"
Family Guy
"and you can see for yourself what a bright, fun and charming woman she is."
Family Guy
"Wonderful. I'll cook something that's not too binding."
Family Guy
"She's not that old. Old is Malcolm in the Middle in Season 15."
Family Guy
"Malcolm, Dad drove the car over your science project."
Family Guy
"Oh, brother."
Family Guy
"How am I gonna survive junior high school with this screwed-up family?"
Family Guy
"And me, in the middle of it all."
Family Guy
"A bunch of brothers living together? What a way to run a railroad."
Family Guy
"Well, Rita, I'm so glad you could join us for dinner."
Family Guy
"Thanks for having me, Lois. This food is delicious."
Family Guy
"Oh, thank you. I'm so glad you can taste it."
Family Guy
"Hey, you know what we haven't done for a while?"
Family Guy
"Go around the table and everybody says what year they were born."
Family Guy
"So, kids, how was your day?"
Family Guy
"- Well, the sandbox was... - It was great!"
Family Guy
"Guess he's going first."
Family Guy
"We got a new pencil sharpener in math class!"
Family Guy
"Well, that's nice."
Family Guy
"Say, Rita, who was President when you were born?"
Family Guy
"- Great pot roast, Lois. - Thank you, Brian."
Family Guy
"Rita, would you like me to cut yours up a little smaller?"
Family Guy
"Oh, I'm fine."
Family Guy
"Boy! Speaking of that, I don't know how many people have asked me today"
Family Guy
"where I was when Martin Luther King was shot."
Family Guy
"I'm sure you've been asked. What do you tell them?"
Family Guy
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