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Clips from Family Guy - Brian's Got a Brand New Bag (S08E08)

"Who can forget? I remember just crying like a baby."
Family Guy
"Crying like a baby? Or crying like someone in college?"
Family Guy
"Say, Brian, on her answering machine, how long after her message is the beep?"
Family Guy
"Wow. This has just been a delight."
Family Guy
"Interesting. You know, the first time I had dessert was 36 years ago today."
Family Guy
"Lord, no! It was so many years ago."
Family Guy
"Like 40 years ago?"
Family Guy
"- Peter... - What were stagecoaches like?"
Family Guy
"Fifty years ago? Would that be a good guess?"
Family Guy
"- Oh, dear. - Peter!"
Family Guy
"- How old are you? How old are you? - Fifty! Okay? I'm 50!"
Family Guy
"Happy now?"
Family Guy
"You people are awful!"
Family Guy
"You know, this is what's wrong with society!"
Family Guy
"Nobody bats an eye if a woman dates an older man,"
Family Guy
"but God forbid it's the other way around!"
Family Guy
"There is nothing wrong with me dating Rita."
Family Guy
"She's beautiful, she's a charming woman, and I love her!"
Family Guy
"- Rita. - Oh, Brian, please leave me alone."
Family Guy
"They're right. I'm just an old fool thinking we could be together."
Family Guy
"Will you stop that? They're insane."
Family Guy
"They don't know what they're talking about."
Family Guy
"- You're an amazing woman. - You're just saying that."
Family Guy
"No, I'm not. The only thing that matters is how I feel about you."
Family Guy
"- Rita, I love you. - I love you, too, Brian."
Family Guy
"I think you're the most wonderful woman I've ever met."
Family Guy
"- Will you marry me? - What did you just say?"
Family Guy
"Come on. You're only 50. You heard me. Will you marry me?"
Family Guy
"Hey, Mom. Hey, Brian. We'll be upstairs."
Family Guy
"- Yo, Rita. You want in on this? - No, thanks. We just got engaged."
Family Guy
"- I'm faithful to Brian now. - Whatever. This ain't even my whole night."
Family Guy
"- You're engaged? - Yes."
Family Guy
"Rita and I are getting married."
Family Guy
"My God! I can't even react big enough."
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"Look, if my happiness means so little to you all"
Family Guy
"that you have Charlotte Rae just standing by to crack a joke,"
Family Guy
"then you really disappoint me."
Family Guy
"Look, Brian, I apologize for the other night. We were all very insensitive."
Family Guy
"And if this is what you want, we as a family support your decision."
Family Guy
"I don't. I'd rather you marry a..."
Family Guy
"- A Japanese or something. - I'm with you, too, buddy."
Family Guy
"In 20 years, she'll be 70, and you'll have been dead for 15 years."
Family Guy
"God bless the both of you."
Family Guy
"Hey, it's 4:30."
Family Guy
"Isn't there an early-bird special you should be running off to?"
Family Guy
"Hello? Hey, Rita."
Family Guy
"No, I'm not hungry yet."
Family Guy
"Well, if we get there by 5:30, I'm sure they'll honor it."
Family Guy
"Brian, is she calling dinner "supper"?"
Family Guy
"So, what are you doing this afternoon?"
Family Guy
""Oh, I'm just sorting out my pills for the week, sweetie. ""
Family Guy
"Well, you do that and I'll be over a little later."
Family Guy
"Did I get it? Was she sorting out her pills for the week"
Family Guy
"in that little plastic thing with the seven boxes?"
Family Guy
"Actually, she just got back from the gym and she's jumping in the shower."
Family Guy
"Have archaeologists ever discovered ancient Egyptian pottery in her vagina?"
Family Guy
"You know what? That one was too wordy."
Family Guy
"That one was too wordy. That was flawed from the ground up."
Family Guy
"It wasn't funny, and we'll work on it and get back to you."
Family Guy
"Hey, Rita? - Yeah?"
Family Guy
"Where do you keep your toothpaste?"
Family Guy
"- What are you looking for? Tooth polish? - Toothpaste, yeah."
Family Guy
"- Just use the baking soda. - Baking soda?"
Family Guy
"What the hell, I can skip a night."
Family Guy
"Oh, I've never noticed this picture before."
Family Guy
"Is that you when you were a little girl?"
Family Guy
"That flag's missing some stars, there."
Family Guy
"Why don't you come to bed, Brian?"
Family Guy
"What do you say we make a little whoopee?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, sure. Why not?"
Family Guy
"You okay? I'm not hurting you, am I?"
Family Guy
"No, I'm fine. What are you talking about?"
Family Guy
"I just want to make sure you're comfortable."
Family Guy
"- I love you, Brian. Sock it to me! - What?"
Family Guy
"- What's wrong? - Oh, nothing."
Family Guy
"When I'm on my back, sometimes my breast can slide in my armpit."
Family Guy
"- Just got pinched, that's all. - Okay."
Family Guy
"- Was that your boob? - God, no! I think I broke my hip."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, what should I do?"
Family Guy
"That's the number, Brian. Just dial 0 and read it to Sarah."
Family Guy
"Jesus Christ!"
Family Guy
"She's fine. She's out of surgery and she's resting."
Family Guy
"Well, how did she break it? Did she fall?"
Family Guy
"Yes, she fell."
Family Guy
"You know, Brian, a woman her age comes in here, they don't always leave."
Family Guy
"Peter, she's gonna be okay."
Family Guy
"Listen, Brian, you say the word and I'll go in there with a pillow"
Family Guy
"How many times do I have to tell you I'm sticking by this woman?"
Family Guy
"- I love her! - Careful, Brian."
Family Guy
"Sometimes the things you love can disappoint you."
Family Guy
"Like that Playboy issue."
Family Guy
"Here we go. '"Playboy's Women of the Olympics. ""
Family Guy
"Wow, those are some broad shoulders."
Family Guy
"Okay, I guess small boobs are good for swimming."
Family Guy
"Not sure I like chiseled quads so close to a vagina."
Family Guy
"Those are balls."
Family Guy
"Brian? Brian!"
Family Guy
"- Yeah. Got it right here. - Oh, good. I need to take my pills."
Family Guy
"It's been three hours."
Family Guy
"You know, they warned me these blue ones were gonna make me constipated."
Family Guy
"- Right they were. - Okay."
Family Guy
"- I am plugged up. - No, I got it."
Family Guy
"It's me as a pillow."
Family Guy
"You know what, Brian? I could really use some milk of magnesia."
Family Guy
"Okay. Well, I'll go pick some up."
Family Guy
"Thanks, Brian. I love you."
Family Guy
"And if you're going out, get some milk of magnesia."
Family Guy
"Yeah. You just said that."
Family Guy
"I am plugged up."
Family Guy
"- Wow, you are really pretty! - Thanks."
Family Guy
"- You know, I wrote a book. - What's that?"
Family Guy
"- It's like a long magazine. - Huh?"
Family Guy
"It's like the Internet made out of a tree."
Family Guy
"Oh, gosh! What a treat! Yes. Yes. I would like that."
Family Guy
"Boy, that took you a long time! Did you have to wait for the streetcar?"
Family Guy
"Look, Rita. I have a confession to make."
Family Guy
"I met a girl, I had a couple of drinks"
Family Guy
"- and I slept with her. - You what?"
Family Guy
"I know. I feel awful. It was a terrible thing to do."
Family Guy
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