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Clips from The Simpsons - The Trouble with Trillions (S09E09)

"[Tires Screeching]"
The Simpsons
"Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one!"
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"[Cheering]"
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"## [All Singing]"
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"[Chuckles] January 1 st. Better get goir on those taxes, Neddie."
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"Cash register ink. Well, that's a business expense, isn't it? l-"
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"- Daddy, what do taxes pay for? - [Chuckles] Why, everything!"
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"Policemen, trees, sunshine-"
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"8:45? Here I am, yappir away like it's 8:35!"
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"[Horns Honking]"
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"[Chattering]"
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"and the wrath and the truncheons. [Gibberish]"
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"It's literally the 11 th hour- 10:00 p.m. -"
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"D'oh!"
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"- [Door Slams] - [Vehicle Rapidly Departs]"
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"Oh, no, you don't!"
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"But an ironed shirt? Damn, that's tempting!"
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"Hey, put in a good word for ol' Gil, would ya?"
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"You're looking at five years, minimum."
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"[Sobbing] No, please! I'll do anything."
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"AgentJohnson, F.B.I."
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"They want you to spy on your friends?"
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"Quiet, honey. You don't know how big this government is. It goes all the way to the president!"
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"[Groans]"
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"Or that telemarketing scam you pulled?"
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"Why stop there, Homer? My militia has a secret plan..."
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"- You're under arrest for conspiracy! - Oh! Oh!"
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"- Let's take a walk. - Walk?"
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"[Panting]"
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"To ease this crisis, President Truman promised relief."
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"[Crowd Cheering]"
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"Truman authorized the onetime printing..."
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"- I can't betray him. - I'm afraid you have no choice."
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"[Panting]"
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"Well, let me get you a towel."
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"[Whispering] Starting search for trillion-dollar bill."
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"Hmm. Hmm! Hmm."
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"- the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in. - Eww!"
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"That intrepid lad is my great-grandfather, Franklin Jefferson Burns..."
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"I keep the real bill right here."
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"Uuh! I'm not the thief. The government is."
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"- [All Groan] - Hah!"
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"[Giggles]"
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"Uh, that really was more of a burgundy."
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"- I'll give you a billion dollars to empty the cat box for me. - No, no, Bart!"
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"[Both Gasp]"
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"- Aw, nuts! - They'll be back."
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"Any of these islands would make a fine new country."
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"Ooh, there's a big one."
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"It's carne de burro."
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"- [Fight Bell Rings] - [Spectators Cheering]"
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"We have no choice but to abandon communism."
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"Please, we are all amigos here."
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"and hand it over to Communist Cuba, then I'm guilty of that too."
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"[Beeping]"
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"## [Jazzy Solo]"
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"D'oh! [Screams]"
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"[All] Ten, nine, eight-"
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"eight- eight- eight-"
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"We've never lost a year before, and I'll be damned if we're gonna lose one on my shift."
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"## [Krusty Blathering]"
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"##[Continues In Distance]"
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"Hmm. Let's see."
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"Oh, but, then, I do enjoy the smell of the stuff, don't I?"
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"Better not risk it."
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"and let's not forget the folks who just don't feel like working, God bless 'em."
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"Neddie, it's 8:45. The post office is gonna be opening soon."
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"Gettir your taxes out of the way?"
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"No. Just mailir out death certificates..."
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"for holiday-related fatalities."
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"[Chuckles]"
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"[Panting]"
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"Oh, Edna, you're certainly looking lovely tonight. Is that a new green sweater?"
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"Hmm! Until you're willing to file jointly, back of the line, Seymour!"
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"Yar! Sometimes I wonder why I bother plundering at all."
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"Oh, no. No, no. I felt that. You didn't carry the one, you foolish person."
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"Now you'll incur the penalties with the compound interest..."
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"This is Kent Brockman live at the Springfield Post Office on tax day."
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"and tardy taxpayers are scrambling to mail their returns by midnight."
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"Sir, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?"
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"Taxes? Isn't this the line for Metallica?"
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"Sir, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?"
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"Because I'm an idiot! Happy?"
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"Of course, not everyone is an idiot."
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"Some of us took our receipts and pay stubs to our accountants months ago."
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"And at the risk of sounding a little smug-"
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"- Myron? - [Groans]"
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"Will you look at those morons?"
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"- I paid my taxes over a year ago. - Dad!"
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"What is it, sweetie? Did you see a scary picture in your picture book?"
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"That was last year's taxes. You have to pay again this year."
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"No. Because, you see, I went ahead, and..."
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"year-wise, I was counting forward from the last previous-"
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"I put the tax forms on top of your "to do" pile a month ago."
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"I have a "to do" pile? [Gasps]"
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"Marge, how many kids do we have? Oh, no time to count."
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"- I'll just estimate- uh, nine. - Homer, you know we don't have-"
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"Shut up, shut up! If I don't hear you, it's not illegal. Okay, I need some deductions."
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"Deductions- Oh! Business gifts! Here you go. Keep using nuclear power."
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"- Homer, I painted that for you. - Okay, Marge, if anyone asks..."
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"you require 24-hour nursing care, Lisa's a clergyman..."
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"- Maggie is seven people, and Bart was wounded in Vietnam. - Cool!"
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"[Sighs] You really had a lot of talent, kid."
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"[Bell Tolling]"
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"[Yelps] If I don't see it, it's not illegal!"
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"[Bell Continues]"
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"Come on. Get in there. Drop!"
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"So, Lenny, let's say you pull a thorn out of the pope's butt, and he grants you one wish."
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"- What'll it be? - Hmm. Only one, huh?"
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"Well, I've always wondered what it would feel like to wear somethir that's been ironed."
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"[Impressed Whistle] That'd be sweet. What about you, Moe?"
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"Ah, gee, I was gonna say a night with Joey Heatherton."
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"- What about you, Homer? - Well-"
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"Homer Simpson? United States government."
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"Hmm? Help! Somebody! Help!"
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"Oh, this is bad. This is really bad."
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"You work and you slave and you steal just enough..."
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"for a sweet lick of that shiny brass ring."
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"Don't I get a lick? Doesrt Gil get a lick?"
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"- Simpson, HomerJ. - [Whimpering]"
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