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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Friendship Contraction (S05E05)

"Allergist."
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"Podiatrist."
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"Supercuts?"
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"Okay, okay, here's a fun one."
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"Who wants to spend the day with me at Ikea?"
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"- Their meatballs are good. - What?"
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"Nothing. Nothing."
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"Hello, Stuart."
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"Oh, hey, Sheldon. Can I help you find something today?"
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"No, I was just sitting at home..."
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"...thinking about how it might be nice to catch up with my ninth-favorite person."
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"My pen pal in Somalia was kidnapped by pirates."
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"So, uh, how are you?"
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"Uh, not so good. My shrink just killed himself..."
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"...and blamed me in the note."
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"Great, great."
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"So, what's new with your family? How's your mother? Is she alive?"
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"Yeah."
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"- Your father. Alive? - Yes."
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"- How about your grandparents, they alive? - No."
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"Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss."
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"On a cheerier note, I have a teeth-cleaning appointment this afternoon."
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"What do you say you take me over there, buddy boy?"
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"Sorry, you want me to take you to the dentist?"
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"Yes. And, now, I can't make any promises..."
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"...but that's the sort of thing that gets a fella on the list for the number eight friend slot."
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"Sheldon, I'm working. I can't take you to the dentist."
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"Also, and I can't stress this enough, I don't want to take you to the dentist."
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"Can't help a friend out in a time of need, huh?"
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"I see where your therapist was coming from."
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"...Howard "Buzz" Wolowitz?"
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"You can't do Buzz. Buzz is taken."
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"Buzz Lightyear is not real."
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"No, that's not what I'm talking about."
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"Well, are you talking about when he thought he was real?"
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"No."
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"Okay, um, oh, how about Crash? Howard "Crash" Wolowitz."
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"Terrific. The astronauts would love hurtling through space with a guy named Crash."
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"All right, uh, how about...? Oh, how about Rocket Man?"
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"That's not bad. Howard "Rocket Man" Wolowitz."
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"It has to come from the other astronauts."
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"Maybe there's a way to get them to come up with it."
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"Like how?"
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"Once I tried carrying around a Duncan yo-yo..."
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"...hoping the other kids would start calling me Duncan."
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"- Did it work? - No, they ended up calling me Sock Mouth..."
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"...because they took away my yo-yo and stuffed their socks in my mouth."
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"Okay. Uh, what if we make "Rocket Man" your ringtone..."
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"That's not a terrible plan."
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"They don't call me Brown Dynamite for nothing."
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"- What's up? - What's up?"
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"You ever make it to the dentist?"
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"...but the fellow on the phone seemed to have an open mind."
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"All right, Sheldon, if you need me to take you to the dentist, I will take you."
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"Are you suggesting that you've come to your senses..."
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"...and wish to reestablish the benefits that stem from the Roommate Agreement?"
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"Ooh. Sock Mouth's got him on the ropes."
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"I will admit nothing of the sort. And now, if you'll excuse me..."
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"...I have to call my dentist and see if I can get my hair shampooed and nails clipped."
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"- Oh, good, your power's out too. - Why is that good?"
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"Last month, I sent the electric company a Starbucks gift card..."
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"...an apology note and a few snapshots of me in a bra."
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"What happened to all your glow-in-the-dark emergency-exit stuff painted on the floor?"
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"Oh, that was wildly carcinogenic."
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"Anyway, too bad you're no longer entitled to the full benefits of my friendship..."
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"...because I happen to be extremely prepared for such an emergency."
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"It's a blackout, I'm sure the power will be back on soon."
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"And I'm sure some fool in the Donner Party said the snow would stop any day now."
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"I like to think they ate him first."
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"I got candles in my apartment."
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"Candles? During a blackout? Are you mad? That's a fire hazard."
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"No, Pasadena Water and Power recommends the far safer glow stick."
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"You call that a glow stick?"
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"That is a glow stick."
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"Come on, let's go."
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"Before you go, consider this:"
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"Not only do I have a deep-cycle marine battery power source..."
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"...more than capable of running our entertainment system..."
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"...I also have all 61 episodes of the BBC series Red Dwarf."
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"And Fiddle Faddle."
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"All yours if you're willing to reinstate the Roommate Agreement."
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"I've got wine at my place and some bubble wrap we could pop."
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"He'll be back. Wine and a girl in the dark, he's gonna be bored out of his mind."
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"To wine and bubble wrap."
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"And to not having to watch Sheldon demonstrate his reverse-osmosis machine..."
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"...that converts urine into drinking water."
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"You know, in Girl Scouts, Tammie Dineesha said you could do that with panty hose."
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"Boy, was she wrong."
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"Anyway, you wanna make out?"
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"I thought because our relationship's in a beta test, you wanted to take things slow."
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"Okay. Do you wanna make out slow?"
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"I can go so slow it'll be like there's a snail in your mouth."
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"Oh..."
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"Lucky for you there's nothing else to do right now."
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"- Excuse me, Leonard. - Since when don't you knock?"
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"It's, like, the only good thing about you."
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"Social niceties have been suspended. We're in a state of emergency."
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"The world has descended into darkened turmoil..."
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"...lawlessness and savagery are the order of the day."
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"- Fine, what is it? - I'm making s'mores."
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"I wanted to alert you in case you smelled caramelizing marshmallows..."
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"- S'mores, huh? Good for you. - Yes."
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"Or good for us if you sign here and reinstate the full Roommate Agreement."
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"No, thanks, I'm good."
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"Really? Oh."
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"Okay. In that case, I will have a s'more by myself."
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"By myself."
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"- Aw. - Now, don't "aw" him..."
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"...he brought all this on himself."
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"- But he's sad. - No, he's crazy."
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"I think he misses his little buddy."
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"Fine."
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"But mark my words, this frustrating bogus teenage make out session is not over."
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"You said candles were dangerous."
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"This is a Bunsen burner."
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"I'm a scientist. I know what I'm doing."
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"Oh, drat."
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"Oh. It took me a gallon of urine to make that water."
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"Listen, Sheldon, this is stupid. I don't see why we can't be friends."
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"I'm willing to drive you and help you out with stuff..."
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