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Clips from 30 Rock - Señor Macho Solo (S03E03)

"Well, the idea of depending on one person for the rest of your life is irrational."
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"You come in alone. You go out alone."
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"That's the saddest thing I ever heard."
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"There's nothing sad about it at all, actually."
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"I have a great life."
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"Tonight, I'm going out with a Fox News correspondent."
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"We'll have some dinner, some laughs, some sex..."
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"Not necessarily in that order."
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"In an empty room with your gold shoes?"
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"That's what happens to most of us."
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"At least I'm prepared."
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"Well, I don't even know what to say to that."
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"This guy makes "badhushas"."
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"Kiss me."
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"Wait a minute."
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"I knew I should have listened to my friends."
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"And yet, here we are."
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"But... But not because of your size."
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"I'm the weird one. I'm weirder than you."
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"You're not. That came out wrong."
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"I have seen it."
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"Be careful crossing the..."
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"she'll have a cup of hot water with a chicken bone in it"
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"and a bowl of salted ice cubes."
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"I have something on my ball."
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"Mint?"
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"Good morning."
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"Morning, everyone."
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"Are you all right? You look very pale."
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"I'm fine."
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"Had a good hour's sleep last night. Took a few showers."
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"Is there anything you want to talk about? I am a nurse."
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"More embarrassing than your CD collection?"
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"If you must know,"
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"I found a lump."
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"Let me see it."
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"No, thank you, I think I have it under control --"
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"You're talking so fast"
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"Is that the subjunctive?"
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"How did you do that?"
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"I told you I was a professional."
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"And you forgot to put on your underpants."
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"So, uh... any big plans for your day off?"
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"I'm going to Prospect Park."
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"Oh, it's kind of like a debutante... ball?"
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"You should get it checked out by a doctor."
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"Thank you for telling me what I already know."
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"I'm sorry."
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"I'm sure you have friends or family you can call."
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"I'm handling this... all alone."
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"Jenna, you're single like me."
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"What?"
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"Uh, the movie's going to work out fine."
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"We're very close to securing Janis Joplin's life rights."
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"Close?"
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"I'm supposed to sing one of her songs Friday night."
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"Yes, I'm talking. Uh, no, we do not have the music. But I'm on it."
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"Stuart, it's me."
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"I just wanted to apologize for the other night."
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"But I didn't get a chance to explain myself."
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"Yeah, I get it. I'm a piece of work."
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"But I really like you."
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"Liz, at this point in my life, "maybe" just isn't good enough."
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"Okay, here's a thought. Did you see the Sex and the City movie?"
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"Once again, Liz, I am an adult man."
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"Oh... So bored."
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"- Maybe we could do the same thing?"
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"Brooklyn Bridge this Saturday? 2:00 P.M.?"
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"But for whatever reason..."
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"Take care, Liz Lemon."
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"You too."
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"Oh. And can you transfer me to the Italian ambassador's office?"
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"Because I'd "like-a" to "make-a" the prank phone call."
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"Please hold."
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"I wasn't sure what you were serving,"
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"That was very thoughtful."
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"And I'm sorry if I was rude the other day."
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"Oh, you were not being rude. You were just being stupid."
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"I had a biopsy and I'm waiting for the results. So I'm handling it."
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"Excellent. So, uh... Here you go."
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"All of these people are your family?"
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"We decided to do this whole"
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""meet-me-at-the-Brooklyn-Bridge- if-you-still-want-to-be-together" thing"
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"They do that a lot in movies."
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"And that remake of An Affair to Remember that I was in..."
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""A Blaffair to Rememblack"."
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"Here's what you don't do."
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"Surround yourself with people and love and babies with pierced ears."
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"You see, I have this thing on my testicle."
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"Ew, my God."
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"No, no, no. It's okay. Whatever happens, it's okay."
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"Wow. Now you have what me and Angie have."
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"Minus the hypertension."
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"Jack, slow down. Have you been to a doctor?"
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"It's exactly like a snow-cone, except they call it a piragua."
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"Please."
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"Hello? Yes? Okay."
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"Thank you."
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"No, no, no, no, no. I mean "positive" like it's good."
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"The test results were negative."
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"Hey."
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"Thank you."
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"Once again, I apologize that our regular warm-up comic"
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"Thirty seconds."
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"What if this experience hasn't changed me?"
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"Maybe everything I was feeling for Elisa was just neediness and fear."
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"I mean, can two people fall in love over a benign gonad cyst?"
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"Why not? It's not about where things start. It's about where it goes."
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"Tracy told me that. He's kind of on a roll."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Janet Jopler!"
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"Who?"
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"# Break another little chunk of my love now, mister...?"
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"What do you think you're doing?"
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"Wait."
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"# Ah..?"
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"# And take it... Take a big old chunk of my lung now, baby...?"
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"Oh, Liz, I knew you'd be happy for me."
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"Well, I do what I can for my mother."
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"Did you just touch my head?"
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"Well..."
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