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Clips from Community (2009) - Remedial Chaos Theory (S03E03)

because it's how I distinguish you anyway.

"because it's how I distinguish you anyway."

Community (2009)

the young people can work while the old people sleep

"the young people can work while the old people sleep"

Community (2009)

and vice versa.

"and vice versa."

Community (2009)

Um, I-I was just wondering who you considered old,

"Um, I-I was just wondering who you considered old,"

Community (2009)

because I'd like to remind you again

"because I'd like to remind you again"

Community (2009)

that I'm just about the same age as Jeff.

"that I'm just about the same age as Jeff."

Community (2009)

Oh, I was counting Jeff as old, too.

"Oh, I was counting Jeff as old, too."

Community (2009)

Hey!

"Hey!"

Community (2009)

Oh, well, that's all right then.

"Oh, well, that's all right then."

Community (2009)

Oh, for heaven's sake, Pierce!

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Pierce!"

Community (2009)

I was thinking the thing that would be most beneficial--

"I was thinking the thing that would be most beneficial--"

Community (2009)

you know, for the group-- would be

"you know, for the group-- would be"

Community (2009)

Hmm. Interesting.

"Hmm. Interesting."

Community (2009)

The highest carrying the lowest?

"The highest carrying the lowest?"

Community (2009)

I can see how you might want that.

"I can see how you might want that."

Community (2009)

Pew, pew, pew, pew, p--

"Pew, pew, pew, pew, p--"

Community (2009)

Wait, no. Pew, pew, pew, pew.

"Wait, no. Pew, pew, pew, pew."

Community (2009)

Does anyone else have kids?

"Does anyone else have kids?"

Community (2009)

Because I have a gorgeous little newborn that I'd like to get--

"Because I have a gorgeous little newborn that I'd like to get--"

Community (2009)

Oh, perfect!

"Oh, perfect!"

Community (2009)

You'll enjoy talking to Shirley about her kids.

"You'll enjoy talking to Shirley about her kids."

Community (2009)

Uh-uh, don't go trying to pawn Todd off on me.

"Uh-uh, don't go trying to pawn Todd off on me."

Community (2009)

Again, none taken.

"Again, none taken."

Community (2009)

Okay, let's make this simple and do it like student housing.

"Okay, let's make this simple and do it like student housing."

Community (2009)

Everyone write down their lab partner preferences

"Everyone write down their lab partner preferences"

Community (2009)

from one to eight.

"from one to eight."

Community (2009)

Abed, you're a computer.

"Abed, you're a computer."

Community (2009)

And before you all go putting Todd down last,

"And before you all go putting Todd down last,"

Community (2009)

don't forget he comes with a turtle.

"don't forget he comes with a turtle."

Community (2009)

How does that sound?

"How does that sound?"

Community (2009)

Somebody wake up Pierce.

"Somebody wake up Pierce."

Community (2009)

Hello, Arizona matchbook company.

"Hello, Arizona matchbook company."

Community (2009)

I had to get some answers.

"I had to get some answers."

Community (2009)

And I needed answers like a fish needs a bicycle-- A lot.

"And I needed answers like a fish needs a bicycle-- A lot."

Community (2009)

Hello? Hello?

"Hello? Hello?"

Community (2009)

Yeah, I am, uh, interested in your matchbooks.

"Yeah, I am, uh, interested in your matchbooks."

Community (2009)

Yes, would you like to place an order?

"Yes, would you like to place an order?"

Community (2009)

- Yes. - Get away from my desk.

"- Yes. - Get away from my desk."

Community (2009)

I'll call you back.

"I'll call you back."

Community (2009)

asking people weird questions and then staring at them

"asking people weird questions and then staring at them"

Community (2009)

while slightly moving your lips?

"while slightly moving your lips?"

Community (2009)

I had to think fast.

"I had to think fast."

Community (2009)

No.

"No."

Community (2009)

Ben... I think this job might be getting to you.

"Ben... I think this job might be getting to you."

Community (2009)

I think you need to take some time off.

"I think you need to take some time off."

Community (2009)

Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Community (2009)

All right, yep.

"All right, yep."

Community (2009)

Pierce is with me. Troy is with Britta.

"Pierce is with me. Troy is with Britta."

Community (2009)

And Jeff is with Todd.

"And Jeff is with Todd."

Community (2009)

Uh, wait. Um, how did I end up with Todd?

"Uh, wait. Um, how did I end up with Todd?"

Community (2009)

I mean, no offense,

"I mean, no offense,"

Community (2009)

but he wasn't exactly at the top of my list.

"but he wasn't exactly at the top of my list."

Community (2009)

None taken.

"None taken."

Community (2009)

It's what the algorithm dictated.

"It's what the algorithm dictated."

Community (2009)

And we're just supposed to trust your algorithm?

"And we're just supposed to trust your algorithm?"

Community (2009)

You're questioning my algorithm?

"You're questioning my algorithm?"

Community (2009)

Will you just tell us how you chose?

"Will you just tell us how you chose?"

Community (2009)

And I put the most popular with the least popular.

"And I put the most popular with the least popular."

Community (2009)

I figured it would maximize each partnership's audience appeal.

"I figured it would maximize each partnership's audience appeal."

Community (2009)

Oh, I-I see.

"Oh, I-I see."

Community (2009)

So I was number one, and he was obviously number eight.

"So I was number one, and he was obviously number eight."

Community (2009)

No offense, Todd.

"No offense, Todd."

Community (2009)

You and Todd were four and five.

"You and Todd were four and five."

Community (2009)

I was four?

"I was four?"

Community (2009)

- Todd was four. - I was five?

"- Todd was four. - I was five?"

Community (2009)

Well, that's insane!

"Well, that's insane!"

Community (2009)

He's a stranger.

"He's a stranger."

Community (2009)

Please, Jeff. It has feelings.

"Please, Jeff. It has feelings."

Community (2009)

Wait, so we all know Annie was number one,

"Wait, so we all know Annie was number one,"

Community (2009)

because she'd do all the work.

"because she'd do all the work."

Community (2009)

And Shirley was her partner, so...

"And Shirley was her partner, so..."

Community (2009)

But that means-- so you all put--

"But that means-- so you all put--"

Community (2009)

I just worked it out.

"I just worked it out."

Community (2009)

I'm more popular than someone!

"I'm more popular than someone!"

Community (2009)

Getting the matchbooks shipped to me the same day wasn't easy.

"Getting the matchbooks shipped to me the same day wasn't easy."

Community (2009)

I had to pay the company money.

"I had to pay the company money."

Community (2009)

I used Nunez's card.

"I used Nunez's card."

Community (2009)

He'd thank me at the Detective Awards.

"He'd thank me at the Detective Awards."

Community (2009)

Holy Mary, mother of God.

"Holy Mary, mother of God."

Community (2009)

Was I crazy?

"Was I crazy?"

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Or was I on the verge of something?

"Or was I on the verge of something?"

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My mind reeled with thoughts.

"My mind reeled with thoughts."

Community (2009)

Voices. Stand-up premises.

"Voices. Stand-up premises."

Community (2009)

Why don't they just make tires out of pavement

"Why don't they just make tires out of pavement"

Community (2009)

so you can drive on anything? What's up with buttons?

"so you can drive on anything? What's up with buttons?"

Community (2009)

What would happen if Nicholson was a gynecologist?

"What would happen if Nicholson was a gynecologist?"

Community (2009)

I need a notepad.

"I need a notepad."

Community (2009)

Maybe a blazer.

"Maybe a blazer."

Community (2009)

Honey, I-I-I don't know when I'll be home.

"Honey, I-I-I don't know when I'll be home."

Community (2009)

How could you guys hate me more than Pierce?

"How could you guys hate me more than Pierce?"

Community (2009)

Or anything more than Pierce?

"Or anything more than Pierce?"

Community (2009)

Thin ice, Shirley.

"Thin ice, Shirley."

Community (2009)

My friends and I are not gonna let you

"My friends and I are not gonna let you"

Community (2009)

drive a wedge between us.

"drive a wedge between us."

Community (2009)

Shirley has a point.

"Shirley has a point."

Community (2009)

How else could you explain Troy being so unpopular?

"How else could you explain Troy being so unpopular?"

Community (2009)

Uh, I think I was the popular one in our pairing.

"Uh, I think I was the popular one in our pairing."

Community (2009)

Oh, Troy.

"Oh, Troy."

Community (2009)

Fine, why don't I just go work with Todd?

"Fine, why don't I just go work with Todd?"

Community (2009)

Oh, wow, what a great guy.

"Oh, wow, what a great guy."

Community (2009)

I can see why all of you like him so much more than me.

"I can see why all of you like him so much more than me."

Community (2009)

Jeff, maybe it's just that no one wants to carry you all year.

"Jeff, maybe it's just that no one wants to carry you all year."

Community (2009)

Gee, you're right, Annie, it's not personal.

"Gee, you're right, Annie, it's not personal."

Community (2009)

I mean, it's not like people really like you.

"I mean, it's not like people really like you."

Community (2009)

You're just a good grade in a tight sweater.

"You're just a good grade in a tight sweater."

Community (2009)

And who the hell are you always texting?

"And who the hell are you always texting?"

Community (2009)

Everyone you know is here.

"Everyone you know is here."

Community (2009)

Okay, let's all just take a breath--

"Okay, let's all just take a breath--"

Community (2009)

Don't get your number four stink on this, Todd.

"Don't get your number four stink on this, Todd."

Community (2009)

Okay, let's focus.

"Okay, let's focus."

Community (2009)

We're all the same people we were 12 hours ago.

"We're all the same people we were 12 hours ago."

Community (2009)

Maybe we should just revert to our original pairings.

"Maybe we should just revert to our original pairings."

Community (2009)

But I thought you didn't want to carry Jeff.

"But I thought you didn't want to carry Jeff."

Community (2009)

Oh, you just don't want to work with Shirley.

"Oh, you just don't want to work with Shirley."

Community (2009)

You too, brute?

"You too, brute?"

Community (2009)

It's just... You're a creationist!

"It's just... You're a creationist!"

Community (2009)

- What? - You're so religious.

"- What? - You're so religious."

Community (2009)

How are you gonna do science experiments

"How are you gonna do science experiments"

Community (2009)

if you don't even believe in science?

"if you don't even believe in science?"

Community (2009)

Just because someone's religious doesn't mean

"Just because someone's religious doesn't mean"

Community (2009)

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