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Clips from American Dad! - Four Little Words (S02E02)

"Sir, you killed your date?"
American Dad!
"What in the name of Phil Spector happened?"
American Dad!
"- I'm gonna go powder my nose. - I'll freshen your drink."
American Dad!
"I thought she was a terrorist. Curse my CIA-honed reflexes."
American Dad!
"Sir, this is a disaster. Do you realize what you've done?"
American Dad!
"I've ended a life in its prime."
American Dad!
"Worse. You've given my wife a reason to say "I told you so.""
American Dad!
"She knew this date wouldn't work out."
American Dad!
"Your wife will never know. No one will."
American Dad!
"One of us will have to bury this body in the woods."
American Dad!
"Damn it."
American Dad!
"That little feelings hurter is about to eat crow."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna go rub his nose in my nose."
American Dad!
"Mommy, look, it's the monster."
American Dad!
"The monster from the hit movie Hollow Man."
American Dad!
"Normally, I'd chastise you for watching an R-rated movie..."
American Dad!
"...but Kevin Bacon is an American treasure..."
American Dad!
"...even when he's playing an invisible rapist."
American Dad!
"Stir of Echoes."
American Dad!
"- Tremors won three Saturn Awards. - Saturn Award?"
American Dad!
"- You're missing the point. - You're right. Kevin Bacon."
American Dad!
"Mr. Bacon, would you and your entourage..."
American Dad!
"...like to dine at my fancy eatery? On the house, of course."
American Dad!
"Or do we wuss out? Let's vote. Hayley, you don't get to vote."
American Dad!
"- I was gonna vote for free stuff. - Really? Well, look at you. Okay."
American Dad!
"God, I'm so hung-over. Last night is such a haze."
American Dad!
"No. It's just that, well, you and Melinda got in a big fight last night."
American Dad!
"- She never wants to talk to you again. - But Melinda and I never fight."
American Dad!
"- I do? I didn't know that. - That's because you always black out."
American Dad!
"Buried behind the Olive Garden. The one in Richmond."
American Dad!
"...until very late last night."
American Dad!
"But, Mr. Bacon, you've already had five premium bottles."
American Dad!
"Oh, okay. All right, okay."
American Dad!
"When they ask me what my greatest loss in life was..."
American Dad!
"...I'll say the two feet of lower intestine..."
American Dad!
"No. Mr. Bacon, of course, it's on the house."
American Dad!
"You bet your ass it is. I'm Kevin Bacon."
American Dad!
"- Roger, we can't keep doing this. - Yeah. I mean, it's stealing."
American Dad!
"- I'm an ethicist. - Well, screw you, I'm Kevin Bacon."
American Dad!
"Thank you for taking the time. I'm worried about Melinda."
American Dad!
"I went by her apartment to apologize and she wasn't there."
American Dad!
"- How curious. - How can you be sure?"
American Dad!
"There was a Thai menu hanging from her doorknob..."
American Dad!
"...which doesn't add up because she loves Thai food..."
American Dad!
"- I'm sure she's fine. - You're probably right."
American Dad!
"I guess I should wait another day before going to the police."
American Dad!
"- Don't worry. I'll throw her off the trail. - Thank you, sir."
American Dad!
"Oh, while I have you, does Francine have any other single friends?"
American Dad!
"This whole thing with Melinda has made me really horny."
American Dad!
"- Francine, you're blocking me. - I'm in the shower."
American Dad!
"I'm looking at the hook. Not there."
American Dad!
"- Check the bowl. - Got them. They were in the bowl."
American Dad!
"But they were supposed to be on the hook."
American Dad!
"- I can't hear you. - You could hear me five seconds ago."
American Dad!
"Can you bring me a towel?"
American Dad!
"My knee. God bless it."
American Dad!
"- Hey, you're not Francine. - You're an assassin. A midget assassin."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God, Bullock's trying to kill my wife."
American Dad!
"Can you drop me off at the dealership? They gotta repack me."
American Dad!
"Maybe she should go to the police. At least then she'd be safe."
American Dad!
"Fine, Stan. But if you don't want her to say "I told you so"..."
American Dad!
"...there's only one option. - There's gotta be another way."
American Dad!
"There is none. She can either be dead or she can be right."
American Dad!
"And next time, Smith, I won't be using a midget."
American Dad!
"Jump back. Do you know who I am, clerk face?"
American Dad!
"Jeez, Roger, you're making Kevin Bacon look like a total douche."
American Dad!
"...but you're ugly on the inside like Tommy Lee Jones."
American Dad!
"He doesn't need you. It's time for me to cut loose, footloose."
American Dad!
"So why don't you two get lost before I kick off my Sunday shoe up your ass."
American Dad!
"I'm so glad you were able to track Melinda down."
American Dad!
"We'll work it out. I wonder what's keeping her?"
American Dad!
"- Yeah, the hat rack. Is that her? - No, I don't think that's her."
American Dad!
"Oh, well. Now drink your poison."
American Dad!
"You killed her."
American Dad!
"I killed Melinda? I don't remember anything."
American Dad!
"- Why is she covered in dirt? - Let me start from the beginning."
American Dad!
"So we came back here. You both put on lingerie and started mudwrestling."
American Dad!
"But you began arguing over who would shower first."
American Dad!
"You made good points, but got out of hand."
American Dad!
"You stabbed her with your knife set and..."
American Dad!
"Yeah, I think that's it."
American Dad!
"This is awful. We have to call the police. I have to turn myself in."
American Dad!
"- What would your family do? - But I killed my friend."
American Dad!
"How can I live with myself?"
American Dad!
"Don't worry, honey. I'll help you put this horrible business behind you."
American Dad!
"Trust me, honey. This is the best way."
American Dad!
"There. Now you have closure and our grass will be green all winter."
American Dad!
"- Hey, hey, hey. - Where's your nose, Kevin?"
American Dad!
"Shouldn't you be out raping the star-struck masses with it?"
American Dad!
"It's not what you have right here, it's what you have right here."
American Dad!
"Guilty. And the worst part is, it almost cost me my friends."
American Dad!
"Hugs?"
American Dad!
"...right here in Langley Falls. - What?"
American Dad!
"The whole incident was captured by a nearby traffic cam."
American Dad!
"I didn't think I did it, but it's clearly me on the tape."
American Dad!
"Roger."
American Dad!
"I'm leaving, Stan. I killed someone and it's tearing my soul apart."
American Dad!
"...then I've gotta dedicate my life to helping others."
American Dad!
"I'm going to India to care for the poor."
American Dad!
"- Tell the children I love them. - Wait, Francine."
American Dad!
"Of course I am."
American Dad!
"I've gone over that whole terrible night two times in my head..."
American Dad!
"...and the only other explanation is that someone's framing me."
American Dad!
"But who would do something so awful?"
American Dad!
"There's six months worth of casseroles in the freezer."
American Dad!
"- I really miss Mom. - Me too."
American Dad!
"I don't miss her six-month supply of casseroles."
American Dad!
"What choice did he have? Freezer burn ruined 90 percent of them."
American Dad!
"Wait, wait, wait a minute. I can do this. Six divided by..."
American Dad!
"- I am starved. - Use the mitts. It's hot."
American Dad!
"You're right. You were totally right. Curse my damnable pride."
American Dad!
"Wait. I was just about to say, "I told you so"..."
American Dad!
"...but you completely disarmed me with a simple admission of your error."
American Dad!
"- Where are you going? - India."
American Dad!
"India? But what are we supposed to do for food?"
American Dad!
"A girl at the bank told me about this place."
American Dad!
"...because you need to learn English to survive."
American Dad!
"Repeat after me: Thank you for calling Apple tech support."
American Dad!
"Thank you for calling Apple tech support."
American Dad!
"- Stan, what are you doing here? - I've come to take you home."
American Dad!
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