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Clips from King of the Hill - The Bluegrass Is Always Greener (S06E06)

"Those Dixie Chicks have really raised the bar."
King of the Hill
"Take a break from your Mozart."
King of the Hill
"Learn about the man. Get inside his head."
King of the Hill
"[chuckling] Okay, yeah."
King of the Hill
"[sighing]"
King of the Hill
"I bought this level at a yard sale."
King of the Hill
"I'm afraid the price was too good to be true."
King of the Hill
"Test it on my stomach. It's flat as a pancake."
King of the Hill
"Hey, Mr. Hill. My dad won't be back for an hour."
King of the Hill
"He's getting his hair dyed. I wasn't supposed to tell anybody that."
King of the Hill
"You want to throw down with a hoedown?"
King of the Hill
"Hey, man. I'm gonna go get my banjo."
King of the Hill
"Or maybe I'll go get that little old accordion, man."
King of the Hill
"What do you think, now?"
King of the Hill
"(Dale) Let's go."
King of the Hill
"Hey, man. I'm gonna go now. I'm gonna take a verse right now."
King of the Hill
"[singing]"
King of the Hill
"Saw that thing, Connie."
King of the Hill
"Sorry. I didn't mean to get into it."
King of the Hill
"So, you're just going to re-string it, huh?"
King of the Hill
"I told her to throw it out."
King of the Hill
"Well, this little girl doesn't look like she could hold a fiddle..."
King of the Hill
"[playing Twiikle, Twiikle Little Star]"
King of the Hill
"Oh, gee! She's good!"
King of the Hill
"You ever think about taking her to Branson?"
King of the Hill
"You think she's Branson-good?"
King of the Hill
"Well, hell, yeah. They got these fiddle contests there."
King of the Hill
"Boy, the best players in the world go to Branson."
King of the Hill
"You thinking what I'm thinking?"
King of the Hill
"Could I wear a sundress and play in my bare feet?"
King of the Hill
"Heck, I might kick off my shoes and join you."
King of the Hill
"And we could be your backup band. The Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience."
King of the Hill
"Hmm."
King of the Hill
"-I like it. -Oh, no!"
King of the Hill
"I'm gonna be in Fort Worthless that weekend auditioning for Van Boring."
King of the Hill
"What is that noise you're making?"
King of the Hill
"It sounds like you're killing a seagull with a bagpipe."
King of the Hill
"And whether you like it or not, your daughter's a natural."
King of the Hill
"And I'm having more fun than a dog up a bone tree."
King of the Hill
"That's how you say ""it's fun"" in bluegrass."
King of the Hill
"That inbred music is designed so only people with six fingers can play it!"
King of the Hill
"Your path is Van Cliburn Camp to Harvard to New York Philharmonic."
King of the Hill
"We love you, honey."
King of the Hill
"Phone as soon as you get to host family in Fort Worth."
King of the Hill
"Remember to give him the pineapple."
King of the Hill
"(Kahn) Practice on bus!"
King of the Hill
"Mr. Hill? My dad said I could go to Branson."
King of the Hill
"How fast do you think you can get..."
King of the Hill
"The Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience back together?"
King of the Hill
"Probably after they finish their beers."
King of the Hill
"-We're going to Branson! -Yeah, we're really going to go now!"
King of the Hill
"They're my jumpsuits."
King of the Hill
"Bill, spit that out."
King of the Hill
"I'm coming with you. Yakov Smirnoff is in Branson..."
King of the Hill
"But you better sleep the whole way."
King of the Hill
"-Hi, Dad. Fort Worth is great. -What's the competitioi like?"
King of the Hill
"-ls Tim Woo there? -Yeah..."
King of the Hill
"but he hurt his hand stealing a Coke from the Coke machine."
King of the Hill
"[Kahi laughiig]"
King of the Hill
"Hey, Connie, is my tongue blue?"
King of the Hill
"-Who's that? -It's Tim Woo."
King of the Hill
"His tongue is blue."
King of the Hill
"-Dad, I got to go practice some more. -Yes, Go practice,"
King of the Hill
"-Okay, Dad. I love you. -Stop talkiig, Go practice,"
King of the Hill
"The key to writing a good Yakov Smirnoff joke..."
King of the Hill
"is picturing yourself arriving in America..."
King of the Hill
"I just lose it. It's brilliant, really."
King of the Hill
"The only thing ""brilliant, really,"" about Yakov Smirnoff..."
King of the Hill
"He's been sending US secrets back to mother Russia..."
King of the Hill
"while tourists are seduced by his fake comedy act."
King of the Hill
"Although his beard is real."
King of the Hill
"I don't want to tarnish our reputation before we have one."
King of the Hill
"Okay, but first I want to hear the joke."
King of the Hill
"In Russia, we have no money!"
King of the Hill
"[laughing]"
King of the Hill
"Oh!"
King of the Hill
"Come on, focus."
King of the Hill
"Does anybody remember why we're going to Branson?"
King of the Hill
"Being ill-prepared."
King of the Hill
"Okay. One, two, three, four."
King of the Hill
"All right, everybody. Cough up $2 and we'll be officially entered."
King of the Hill
"You think it's too late to get seats for the 5:00 Yakov?"
King of the Hill
"""throwing away that young girl's musical career."
King of the Hill
"Can do, will do. Come on, Connie."
King of the Hill
"Okay, Connie, just tell them you're not interested so they'll drop it."
King of the Hill
"-Well.... -See? She's not interested."
King of the Hill
"Mess up her bed and hide it underneath her pillow."
King of the Hill
"And when she cleans it up, that's when she finds the Limoges violin."
King of the Hill
"I've been learning English for 20 years."
King of the Hill
"Now, I move to the Ozarks, I have to start all over again."
King of the Hill
"Mr. Smirnoff, I would one day like to be a comedian like yourself."
King of the Hill
"that I think is very funny."
King of the Hill
"Now, I do jokes about relationships and things I observe."
King of the Hill
"[laughing]"
King of the Hill
"[exclaims]"
King of the Hill
"Save the sweet-guy act for the tourists, Nikolai."
King of the Hill
"The ClA will be here momentarily."
King of the Hill
"Are you okay?"
King of the Hill
"-My left eye really burns. -He's faking it, Bobby."
King of the Hill
"(man) There he is."
King of the Hill
"[people chattering]"
King of the Hill
"(Bill) Yakov was so funny."
King of the Hill
"Oh, and we got to meet him after the show. Great guy."
King of the Hill
"I've had to deal with the Bluegrass Brothers all by myself."
King of the Hill
"They've been staring at me, twiddling their beards and trying to psych me out."
King of the Hill
"Look, I told you to stay out of my wallet."
King of the Hill
"Y'on after the Harris Twins."
King of the Hill
"Your dream to become a professional bluegrass musician."
King of the Hill
"-Mr. Hill-- -Come on, Connie, focus."
King of the Hill
"-Rosin up your bow and focus. -No! No more rosin."
King of the Hill
"No more of your ""see the fiddle, be the fiddle"" rhetoric."
King of the Hill
"What? Where are you going?"
King of the Hill
"The twins are finishing. Connie!"
King of the Hill
"Why do I fear success?"
King of the Hill
"Maybe Connie ran off 'cause of stage fright."
King of the Hill
"Okay. I'm not afraid to say it. We're a novelty band without Connie."
King of the Hill
"It's gonna be fine. You guys just stall the audience until I get her back."
King of the Hill
"Yeah. Maybe I'll give a little bit of the old, ""Hey, man..."
King of the Hill
"""how're you doing in Branson, man? Let me hear you say, 'yeah!'"""
King of the Hill
"Good. Perfect. Do that."
King of the Hill
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