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Clips from The Simpsons - Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington (S03E03)

"[ Whistle Blowing ]"
The Simpsons
"## [Jazzy Solo ]"
The Simpsons
"See where it says ''Void, void, void'' and ''This is not a check''?"
The Simpsons
"Every time you get a million dollars, something queers the deal."
The Simpsons
"No, it's not the truth, Homer."
The Simpsons
"Oh, Marge, cartoons don't have any deep meaning."
The Simpsons
"[ Chuckles ]"
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"Hey, you don't wanna eat? What you do, get one of them stomach staples?"
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"As Tolstoy said in Quotable Notables..."
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"- Who is that bookworm, Smithers? - Homer Simpson, sir."
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"We now return to Troy McClure and Delores Montenegro in Preacher With a Shovel."
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"[ Man ] But Irrigation can save your people, Chief Smiling Bear."
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"It's not just one magazine, Marge."
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"They take hundreds of magazines, filter out the crap..."
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"[ Grunting ]"
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"''Then I heard the sound..."
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"Homey, put down your magazine for a minute."
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"- Huh? - I thought you might wanna snuggle."
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"That reminds me. ''Seven ways to spice up your marriage.''"
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"Thank you, Homey."
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"- [ Sizzling ] - Wow! Little meat loaf men!"
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"Where do you think? This baby never steers you wrong, and it was free!"
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"Mom, it's a nice thought, but we both know that this is the pony to bet on."
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"Okay, America, inspire me."
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"Sweetheart, there's nothing I wouldn't do for that magazine."
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"''Oh, yes, and don't forget to burn your house..."
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"I am the American nonvoter.''"
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"''And as they were nourished by Mother Earth..."
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"''in the simple ideals of equality and justice."
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"- What do you think? - It's good."
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"A little too good for an eight-year-old."
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"- Lisa, will you excuse us? - Okay."
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"- Are you a professional writer? - Mm-mmm."
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"- Are you interested in anything? - I don't know."
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"[ Footsteps Approaching ]"
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"I've decided to award you an additional five points."
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"Congratulations. You and your family are going to Washington."
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"- [ Grunts ] Steward! - [ Chuckles ]"
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"Now, would you like to see where we hang our coats?"
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"and body gel and bathrobes."
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"Shoe goes on, shoe goes off."
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"Bart, there's no such thing as first bedsies. You just made that up."
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"Lisa, I'm Faith Crowley-- patriotism editor of Reading Digest."
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"Well, good. Lisa, I'd like you to meet some other finalists."
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"- This is Trong Van Dinh and Maria Dominguez. - [ Both ] Hello."
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"- Oh! And, miss, just one more question. - Person."
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"- Do you mind? - Barbara Bush!"
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"Okay. This tub was installed in 1 894."
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"Mmm. Money."
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"[ Bart Sputtering ]"
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"[ Man ] Congressman, this is, uh, Springfield National Forest."
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"just aging and festering away."
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"In comes our logging company to thin out the clutter."
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"It's all part of nature's, you know, cycle."
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"- I just want to-- - Offer me a bribe?"
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"[ Both Laughing ]"
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"I've got a little place that I use for these, uh, matters. Call me tonight."
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"- Well, hi there. You must be Lisa Simpson. - Hello, sir."
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"Lisa, you're a doer, and who knows, maybe someday..."
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"Mom?"
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"I'm too excited to sleep."
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"- [ Homer And Marge Groan ] - Okay, but you don't know what you're missing."
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"''I will iron your sheets when you iron out..."
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"the inequities in your labor laws.''"
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"[ Chuckles ] So, Bob, where do we stand on Springfield Forest?"
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"[ Both Laughing, Sigh ]"
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"- What a pooch. - Woof woof!. [ Laughs ]"
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"Honest Abe-- he'll show me the way."
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"[ Tourists Chattering ]"
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"[ Chattering Continues ]"
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"I don't blame them. I never did anything important--"
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"There you go. Buy yourself something nice."
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"[ Both Laughing ]"
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"I'd like to introduce our distinguished judges..."
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"who will select our scholarship winner."
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"- [ Audience Gasps ] - Oh, there she is."
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"And this will be one nation under the dollar..."
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"- [ Both Laughing ] - Congressman..."
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"you're under arrest."
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"Mr. Speaker, I'm all for the bill, but shouldn't we tack on..."
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"Extra! Extra! Feds nab rotten rep."
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"''Imprisoned congressman becomes born-again Christian. ''"
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"- This is the trading gap. - [ Applause ]"
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"''USA, A-OK''?"
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"Or ''Cesspool on the Potomac''?"
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"that the price of freedom is eternal vigilance."
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"Lis, you taught me to stand up for what I believe in."
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"[ Chorus ] ##Ahh, The Simpsons ##"
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"[ Tires Screeching ]"
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"How dumb do they think I am? Huh? A check?"
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"[ Gasps ] One million dollars."
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"I'm rich! [ Shuddering, Panting ]"
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"Mr. Simpson, I can assure you, this check of yours is nonnegotiable."
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"Oh, yeah? Well, what makes you so damn sure?"
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"''Cash value 1 /20th of a cent.''"
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"- '' Mr. Banker, do not honor.'' - Shut up."
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"I don't think real checks have exclamation points."
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"Well, at least we got a free sample of Reading Digest."
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"Marge, I never read a magazine in my life, and I'm not gonna start now."
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"It's well-documented that women are safer drivers than men."
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"They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh."
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"Hey, Einstein, put down your reading."
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"''Give me learning, sir, and you may keep your black bread.''"
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"Simpson, eh? How very strange."
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"His job description clearly specifies an illiterate."
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"You've certainly taken a shine to that magazine."
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"and leave you with something that fits right in your front pocket."
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"- Dad! - Hey, what gives, man?"
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"We're all going to sit down as a family..."
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"''that all arctic explorers dread--"
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"the pitiless bark of the sea lion.''"
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"[ Gasps ] He'll be killed!"
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"Homer, he obviously got out alive if he wrote the article."
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"Don't be so-- Oh, you're right."
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"Where did you get the idea for this, Mom?"
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"- Free. - It certainly has enriched our lives."
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"All expenses paid. V.I.P. tour.''"
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"An essay contest. ''Children under 1 2."
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"Three-hundred words, fiercely pro-American.'' Sounds interesting."
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"Bart, maybe this is something you'd like to do too."
The Simpsons
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