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Clips from Seinfeld - The Junk Mail (S09E09)

"Yeah, I called about the van."
Seinfeld
"-Some more merlot? -Yeah, thanks."
Seinfeld
"I've always found you very attractive."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"...but I just can't stop myself from wanting you."
Seinfeld
"You wanna borrow money, right?"
Seinfeld
"No, no. I-- I just want us to be..."
Seinfeld
"...together."
Seinfeld
"-All right? -Let's go for it."
Seinfeld
"Well, we could dance around it a little first."
Seinfeld
"-So how come you're selling it? -You know why I'm selling it. I hate it."
Seinfeld
"City or highway?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, hey. Take it easy. I'm not gonna be pressured."
Seinfeld
"Is this thing bent?"
Seinfeld
"I'm very interested in the van."
Seinfeld
"-You put that in. -Glad, I did."
Seinfeld
"You wanna trade me an undershirt?"
Seinfeld
"He took this off to do sit-ups in the park and I nabbed it."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry, Puddy. It was a mistake."
Seinfeld
"...and we can continue as if this never happened."
Seinfeld
"Jeez, I don't know. What if we're out somewhere..."
Seinfeld
"-You're not taking me back? -That's right."
Seinfeld
"He's not idiotic."
Seinfeld
"Hey, mail blows. Fax it to a friend."
Seinfeld
"Not anymore. He traded it to me for some Hollywood memorabilia."
Seinfeld
"I'm so stupid. Excuse-- I'm sorry."
Seinfeld
"She's into it?"
Seinfeld
"She's leaving me dirty messages on my answering machine."
Seinfeld
"Hey, how's the anti-mail campaign going?"
Seinfeld
"...and not one person went in."
Seinfeld
"It's Sunday."
Seinfeld
"Why is the mailman wearing a bucket?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, I want my van keys back."
Seinfeld
"Are you insane?"
Seinfeld
"-Give them. -No, I can't. I can't."
Seinfeld
"See, I told Frank he could borrow it."
Seinfeld
"I didn't catch his name, but he went running into the park."
Seinfeld
"Oh, no, the woods, the hole."
Seinfeld
"-Hey. -Kramer, what the hell are you doing?"
Seinfeld
"I know, I'm gonna switch the bucket to something else."
Seinfeld
"You're in trouble, Kramer."
Seinfeld
"You may be walking, maybe on a crisp autumn day just like today..."
Seinfeld
"...when a mail truck will slow beside you, the door will open."
Seinfeld
"-Are you through? -Yes."
Seinfeld
"-Quick. Get in. -Oh, no, no, no."
Seinfeld
"There's another way. It's going down now!"
Seinfeld
"Frankie?"
Seinfeld
"Frankie?"
Seinfeld
"Have a nice night."
Seinfeld
"Thank you."
Seinfeld
"Stupid."
Seinfeld
"So stupid."
Seinfeld
"I'm ready."
Seinfeld
"I'm just trying to get a reading on my dashboard compass."
Seinfeld
"Georgie."
Seinfeld
"Is this Seinfeld's van? Seinfeld's van. Seinfeld's van."
Seinfeld
"-Wait. What's he saying? -I think he's saying Son of Sam."
Seinfeld
"So I told him, hit the road, I'm going back with Jack."
Seinfeld
"That's the second good piece of news I've gotten."
Seinfeld
"Really? What was the first?"
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, here's a fact. I'm the Wiz."
Seinfeld
"As much as I hate the idea of being a van guy..."
Seinfeld
"...it's a lot better than hanging out here with the nocturnal dirt people."
Seinfeld
"So can we go for a ride?"
Seinfeld
"Good. He left the door unlocked."
Seinfeld
"Why did Kramer have to park the van in the woods?"
Seinfeld
"Isn't it obvious? There are no parking meters out here."
Seinfeld
"Hey, look at this."
Seinfeld
"You can just call me Henry."
Seinfeld
"Last time I checked."
Seinfeld
"Oh, oh, sit a bit."
Seinfeld
"I mean, after all, I drove all the way up here from D.C. just to talk to you."
Seinfeld
"I even had to cancel a round of golf with the secretary of state."
Seinfeld
"Do you like golf, Mr. Kramer?"
Seinfeld
"Mr. Kramer, I've been reading some of your material here."
Seinfeld
"I gotta be honest with you."
Seinfeld
"I mean, just imagine."
Seinfeld
"An army of men in wool pants, running through the neighborhood..."
Seinfeld
"...handing out pottery catalogs door to door."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's my job..."
Seinfeld
"...I'm a general and we both know..."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry."
Seinfeld
"I think we got a stack of mail there at the desk that belongs to you."
Seinfeld
"Now you want that mail, don't you, Mr. Kramer?"
Seinfeld
"Sure do."
Seinfeld
"Newman?"
Seinfeld
"Tell the world my story."
Seinfeld
"-Hey, George. -Jerry."
Seinfeld
"George Costanza. Frankie Merman."
Seinfeld
"The summer me."
Seinfeld
"The winter me."
Seinfeld
"You must be George's cousin."
Seinfeld
"-Oh, my God. -Oh, my God!"
Seinfeld
"Oh, you gotta sell this van."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"...of a man's love for his lady."
Seinfeld
"Your father's right. It's beautiful."
Seinfeld
"All you."
Seinfeld
"Oh, sure."
Seinfeld
"Dynamite. I'll look for the Chinese food leftovers."
Seinfeld
"Don't you remember, we always talked about how cool it would be..."
Seinfeld
"Come on. Let's take it for a spin."
Seinfeld
"Well, we gotta get moving."
Seinfeld
"-Nice captain's chairs, huh? -Aye, aye."
Seinfeld
"Oh, there's a spot. Just back up."
Seinfeld
"Check it out."
Seinfeld
"Oh, that's it. They have gone too far."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Well, they better think again."
Seinfeld
"So, what do you know about this Jack fella?"
Seinfeld
"No. Let's be bad, George."
Seinfeld
"I'll walk away right now."
Seinfeld
"He's the Wiz. And nobody beats him."
Seinfeld
"Here you go. Mail is evil. Pass it on."
Seinfeld
"Why does this dummy have a bucket on his head?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, boy, it's fantastic. We were out in front of the post office today..."
Seinfeld
"Shouldn't you be wearing the bucket?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, he wants to move some of George's stuff into storage."
Seinfeld
"Wait a minute."
Seinfeld
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