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Clips from Seinfeld - The Junk Mail (S09E09)

"...and I'm pretty damn serious about it."
Seinfeld
"So maybe you can understand..."
Seinfeld
"...why I get a little irritated when somebody calls me away from my golf."
Seinfeld
"Sure, you're sorry."
Seinfeld
"-Hey, that's the guy. -What?"
Seinfeld
"Girlfriend."
Seinfeld
"Hey, what is that?"
Seinfeld
"What you saw in the van was a natural expression..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, God."
Seinfeld
"Now if you'll excuse me, once again..."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah. All right."
Seinfeld
"-Chinese food. -There's my Chinese food."
Seinfeld
"I gotta run."
Seinfeld
"-They're getting me a new Saab. -What about your old car?"
Seinfeld
"Fragile Frankie Merman?"
Seinfeld
"Every summer, you guys went to camp together."
Seinfeld
"I was jealous. It felt he was the summer me."
Seinfeld
"-He was not the summer you. -Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Besides, you had a summer me."
Seinfeld
"Whitey Fisk, the guy who snuck you into Last Tango in Paris."
Seinfeld
"I made him up."
Seinfeld
"-No. -Too bad, it was erotic."
Seinfeld
"Pottery Barn?"
Seinfeld
"Mira Sorvino. Think she'd go out with me?"
Seinfeld
"Why don't you just throw them out?"
Seinfeld
"No. I've been saving them up here in your apartment."
Seinfeld
"And now, it's payback time."
Seinfeld
"Pottery Barn is in for a world of hurt."
Seinfeld
"I can't. I gotta make the weekly call to the folks."
Seinfeld
"-So call now. -Gotta prep."
Seinfeld
"It's a whole procedure."
Seinfeld
"-He still nuts? -What do you think?"
Seinfeld
"Seriously, is this the best okra you've ever had or what?"
Seinfeld
"-Delish. -Delish?"
Seinfeld
"Delish. You know, short for delicious."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna be late. I'll see you later."
Seinfeld
"-Hello? -Hey, it's Georgie."
Seinfeld
"-Let me put your father on the phone. -Ma."
Seinfeld
"Dad, it's me."
Seinfeld
"Listen, I was at Fortunoff's the other day and you know what..."
Seinfeld
"Chinese food."
Seinfeld
"Chinese food?"
Seinfeld
"After dark?"
Seinfeld
"Please. At their age that's like swallowing stun grenades."
Seinfeld
"Well, there's one way to check. Where there's Chinese food..."
Seinfeld
"Well, gentlemen..."
Seinfeld
"...totally unreal fairy tale moment."
Seinfeld
"Well, I won't fire him until I see if this new guy..."
Seinfeld
"Stop the mail?"
Seinfeld
"...to have a van and just drive."
Seinfeld
"Just tell him you want the Saab."
Seinfeld
"...he'd run into the woods, dig a hole, and sit in it."
Seinfeld
"Keep the van and just get a bumper sticker that says:"
Seinfeld
"lf this van's a-rocking, don't come a-knocking."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Georgie. What are you doing here?"
Seinfeld
"You never called me back."
Seinfeld
"Oh, the phone broke."
Seinfeld
"-What? Where are you going? -We have a catered affair."
Seinfeld
"Move, woman."
Seinfeld
"No Chinese leftovers."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna be in the can."
Seinfeld
"Puddy? It's Elaine. We're through."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. That's right. Again."
Seinfeld
"Hold on. There must be a truck backing up."
Seinfeld
"What if I decided that it's silly to have a van because, you know..."
Seinfeld
"...I live in New York City."
Seinfeld
"-You don't like the van? -No, no, no. It's just hypothetically."
Seinfeld
"-I gotta go to the park. -No. No, you don't."
Seinfeld
"But let's see them get by these bricks."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, the whole building is brick."
Seinfeld
"You wanna take a ride with me out to Jersey?"
Seinfeld
"I don't think I wanna meet the people that are in the market for a used van."
Seinfeld
"-Come on, Jerry, just let me help you. -Okay."
Seinfeld
"Here we go. Yeah."
Seinfeld
"For sale."
Seinfeld
"A big juicy van."
Seinfeld
"It's all about tickling their buying bone."
Seinfeld
"You know what? This is all your mail. They're putting it in my box now."
Seinfeld
"Now I got no choice but to go down there and talk to them."
Seinfeld
"Certainly. How long would you like us to hold it?"
Seinfeld
"I'll handle this, Violet."
Seinfeld
"-Oh, yes, I am. -Well, what about your bills?"
Seinfeld
"E-mail, telephones, fax machines, FedEx, Telex, telegrams."
Seinfeld
"Of course nobody needs mail."
Seinfeld
"What, you think you're so clever, figuring that one out?"
Seinfeld
"But you don't know the half of what goes on here."
Seinfeld
"Is everything all right here, postal employee Newman?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, sir. I believe everything is all squared away."
Seinfeld
"Isn't it, Mr. Kramer?"
Seinfeld
"Welcome back."
Seinfeld
"Now I demand to know what's going on."
Seinfeld
"-We're cutting you loose. -You're cutting me loose?"
Seinfeld
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna make love to your mother."
Seinfeld
"They don't want to see me anymore."
Seinfeld
"It is."
Seinfeld
"Just not ready yet."
Seinfeld
"My parents think they can ignore me."
Seinfeld
"You remember my cousin, Rhisa?"
Seinfeld
"-I'm gonna date her. -Mother of God."
Seinfeld
"One little wink. She'll freak out, tell my parents. They'll be all over me."
Seinfeld
"What is this tape?"
Seinfeld
"That guy Elaine's dating seems really familiar to me."
Seinfeld
"I think he might be a comedian I worked with one time."
Seinfeld
"Wait a second. What--? What, what is this?"
Seinfeld
"This weekend Nobody Beats The Wiz..."
Seinfeld
"...is slashing prices on our entire stock."
Seinfeld
"That is the guy."
Seinfeld
"She's just remembering this old commercial."
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"-I'm gonna get going. -Have fun at the family reunion."
Seinfeld
"-lsn't he the best? -Yeah, nobody beats him."
Seinfeld
"What kind of work does he do?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, right now he's a fact-checker for New York Magazine."
Seinfeld
"It's not much, but it has a certain kind of quiet dignity."
Seinfeld
"Right. Quiet dignity."
Seinfeld
"As opposed to, say..."
Seinfeld
"...this."
Seinfeld
"Nobody beats me because I'm the Wiz."
Seinfeld
"-Oh, no. -Oh, yes."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, the van is still for sale. Sure, come on by."
Seinfeld
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