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Clips from Married with Children - Poke High (S03E03)

"AL: Peg, I stepped in the garbage can,"
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"and I can't get out!"
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"I'll be right there, Al!"
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"Just be sure it really is what you want."
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"Hey, no-life, I need a favor."
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"I want you help me get this guy."
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"Hey, I'm asking you nice, you little eunuch."
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"Anyway, I have an idea."
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"I checked up on this guy,"
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"and I know he's not doing too good in English."
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""Well," Kelly."
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"Well what?"
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"[SIGHS]"
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"Okay. So he ain't done no good in English."
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"So what?"
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"Okay, once again."
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"In Of Mice And Men, the big one was..."
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"And the little one was..."
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"Squiggy?"
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"Now that we've, uh, conquered literature,"
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"let's move on to spelling."
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""Tramp.""
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"Okay, I think it's time for a break."
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"Now, listen, Matt."
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"I'm Kelly."
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"Remember? We met in the boys' shower the other day?"
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"Oh, yeah. The soup girl."
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"The soap girl."
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"You're a football player."
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"I have a football question for you."
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"I get cramps in my leg right here."
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"Well, it may take some time, but I'll do what I can."
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"Uh, hi, Dad."
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"Dad, I'm Kelly, and this is Matt."
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"I'd like you to meet us."
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"Nice to meet you, Kelly."
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"You know, I used to play football."
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"You remember the Panthers of '66?"
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"Daddy..."
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"AL: Later, Kelly."
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"You know who the fullback was on that team?"
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"Take a guess."
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"Red Grange?"
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"Well, close."
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"Me."
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"You're Red Grange?"
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"Pleased to meet you, sir."
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"Uh, I'm pleased to meet you too,"
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"but you can call me by my nickname, Al Bundy."
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"Daddy..."
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"So, what position do you play, son?"
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"Well, we went both ways in our day."
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"go both ways."
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"Not me, though."
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"I like girls."
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"Ahem. Ahem."
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"Kelly, you want to take something for that?"
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"Anyhow, yeah, we were really great back then. Yep."
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"Only team in Polk history to go undefeated."
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"Now, that's something that'll never happen again."
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"Hmm? Well, h-how many games you got left?"
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"One. This Saturday."
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"You really ought to come see your record"
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"go down the drain, Mr. Grange."
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"Did I tell you that I hold the school record"
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"That's amazing."
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"I'm one touchdown away from breaking that record too."
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"It's a young man's world, you know?"
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"You know I think we have an old football out back."
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"and you, uh...show me some of your moves?"
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"Sure. Let's go."
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"Uh, Matt, remember? My leg?"
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"Hey, Kel, where's Matt?"
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"That's what we call a "fake left, go right.""
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"Well... I'm a little rusty."
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"You want to try it again?"
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"I can't believe it. I almost had him."
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"That's what we call"
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"a "faking you out of your jock.""
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"Yeah, well, I thought I dropped a quarter."
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"Let's try it again."
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"Go back there and take a run at it this time."
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"Give it up, Kelly. You're just not his type."
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"I am everybody's type."
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"But why can't I get this one guy?"
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"Because all he knows is sports,"
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"and all he likes is cheerleaders."
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"[STOMPING]"
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"That's what I call"
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"an "open-handed chop to the Adam's apple.""
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"Then that's what I'm gonna be,"
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"Kelly, I hate to burst your bubble,"
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"but there's only one more game left,"
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"and the squad is full. It's impossible."
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"Who could have put poison oak in your pompoms?"
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"Damn the luck."
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"Next."
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"I'm Kelly Bundy,"
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"and the dream of my life is to become a Polk Dot,"
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"[QUIETLY] 1, 2, 3, 4..."
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"P-O-K-E!"
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"Very good,"
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"but it's P-O-L-K, Polk High."
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"You know, after President James K. Polk?"
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"Congratulations, Miss Bundy, you are now a Polk Dot."
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"Congratulations, Kelly! That's so great!"
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"Get a life, will you?"
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"[WHISTLE BLOWS]"
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"[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]"
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"All right, 33 to the right."
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"Now, make it work."
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"[CROWD CHEERING]"
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"Oh, come on, Al, perk up."
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"I mean, even if your record is broken,"
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"you still have me."
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"Yeah, and my job as shoe salesman."
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"That's right, honey."
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"Sometimes you've just got to pick the man up."
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"Oh, buck up, Al, Polk's only up by 7."
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"Aw, Polk can't lose."
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