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Clips from Married with Children - Poke High (S03E03)

"Mom, I flirted with a boy, and he paid no attention to me."
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"Every time I've wanted a guy, I've gotten him."
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"but this guy won't even look at me."
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"What did you do in school to get guys?"
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"Just clean up the garbage, Al."
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"I played football."
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"and they usually wind up doing menial jobs"
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"desperately clinging to their former glory."
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"Mom, I have never failed at getting a guy."
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"Once the lips stop saying, "Yes,""
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"then you're nothing."
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"and then use them to crush him."
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"the breakaway blouse isn't working?"
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"You just stay here and run the alphabet"
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"from A to F like we've been doing."
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"S-O-P-E."
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"So, uh, you're the football player, huh?"
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"Yeah, they were the last championship team at our school."
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"Fullback. Yeah?"
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"We're undefeated too."
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"What say me and you go out there"
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"Oh, I'll look at it later, Kathy."
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"It's Kelly. The soup girl."
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"You little son of a..."
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"AL: Ooh! [THUD]"
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"a cheerleader."
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"so here's a little cheer that I wrote myself."
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"Yay!"
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"[GRUFFLY] I like her. I like her a lot."
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"I'm so excited."
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"It's a home game against the school"
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"from the rich white neighborhood."
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"Yay, team!"
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"Am I a fan, or what?"
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"The score, the James K. Polk Panthers, 14,"
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"he gets treated like a baby."
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"Well, I had a little poison oak left over,"
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"I want 100 percent. Right?"
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"Get him! Yeah!"
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"By the way,"
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"Uh-huh!"
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"Nobody talks to us. We might as well be lepers."
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"I can't take this."
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"Did you see him?"
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"555-287..."
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"[BLOWS WHISTLE]"
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"if you got the place, I'll do the time."
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"a little sooner,"
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"I can really increase my miles per gallon."
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"and they're going for the win with a 2-point conversion."
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"Please let me have this one."
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"He's got it."
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"Ya-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
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"I'm so happy for you, honey."
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"[LAUGHING]"
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"That's my sideline! Here he comes!"
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"He's gonna do it!"
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"I'll be damned."
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"Now that the season's over,"
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"Here's my phone number."
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"[CROWD BOOING]"
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"Call me!"
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"[SIGHS]"
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"[DOOR OPENS]"
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"Good girl."
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"You want another burger, Al?"
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"You made 'em just like I like 'em."
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"Dark."
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"There you go, honey."
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"Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm."
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"Well..."
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"Urp!"
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"I'm full."
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"Okay, honey, now it's time to do your chores."
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"Wait a second, Peg. We had sex three nights ago."
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"I'm still kind of woozy."
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"The garbage, Al."
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"The longer of the two jobs."
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"And the more rewarding."
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"Don't you even know how to do that?"
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"Aw, thanks, Peg. Now it's exactly like sex."
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"I can't believe it."
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"Which class was it this time?"
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"Oh, Daddy, I'm not talking about school."
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"Why would I care about that?"
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"Oh, honey."
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"Well, you can't give up."
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"You've gotta keep on trying."
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"Well, there's nowhere left to go"
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"once you've stood in the boys' shower,"
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"wearing a sign that says "soap.""
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"Hey, I play for keeps."
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"It's unbelievable."
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"Mom, you've got to help me."
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"Same thing she does now to chase them away."
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"Oh, God."
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"Well, Kelly,"
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"is to pretend that you have a common interest."
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"Now, what does this guy like?"
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"Football."
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"Everyone wants a football player."
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"You know, football players aren't very bright,"
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"for minimum wage,"
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"Yep, yep. They called me Touchdown Bundy."
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"Yeah, I was great."
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"I mean, once that goes, I'm nothing."
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"No, Kel."
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"and the eyes stop saying, "Duh,""
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"If only it was as easy for me"
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"as it is for Bud."
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"and a pillow named Shirley."
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"One problem at a time, kids."
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"Now, Kelly, here's what I think you're doing wrong."
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"Stop flirting with this boy at school."
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"Get him to tell you all his secret dreams and hopes,"
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"The important thing is to go after what you want."
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