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Clips from Scrubs - My Dream Job (S02E02)

"do you by any chance know what time your 9.30 shift starts?"
Scrubs
"But I had Ted stand out in the parking lot"
Scrubs
"I was going to be a senator."
Scrubs
"I haven't perused the latest nursing contract,"
Scrubs
"I'm guessing it doesn't say "show up when you damn well please.""
Scrubs
"and we'll replace you with a giant time clock?"
Scrubs
"Come on, Ted."
Scrubs
"The three prescriptions every patient gets."
Scrubs
"Restoril so she'll sleep, and Colace so she'll poop."
Scrubs
"And, of course, paperwork."
Scrubs
"Look, because it's diabetes-related,"
Scrubs
"That's why I'm so psyched our college buddy,"
Scrubs
"- Jill Anderson. - Yes."
Scrubs
"I don't think it's appropriate for us"
Scrubs
"What a whore!"
Scrubs
"Yes."
Scrubs
"Now you two are engaged, I'm in town because two frat brothers"
Scrubs
"Good for the boys."
Scrubs
"- You just had a baby. - No, she just had a baby."
Scrubs
"whose butt I haven't had my fingers in."
Scrubs
"That's a perk you never hear about."
Scrubs
"You guys landed your dream jobs, huh?"
Scrubs
"Mr Weinberg has dementia but still enjoys his ronking."
Scrubs
"- What's ronking? - Ronk!"
Scrubs
"- Interesting. - Hey, sweetness."
Scrubs
"to ride mercilessly until they crumble."
Scrubs
"Dr Reid, do an ABG on bed four without waking him."
Scrubs
"bed seven needs a central line."
Scrubs
"Ah, Doug. At least you're going to a more chocolaty place."
Scrubs
"I've got next. What's up?"
Scrubs
"Look, Elliot, I've seen this before."
Scrubs
"I didn't want you to feel manipulated."
Scrubs
"- is by using pregnancy as a trap. - What?"
Scrubs
"- I make more than you do. - What?"
Scrubs
"- Quite a bit more. - You couldn't have seen it."
Scrubs
"Just impossible."
Scrubs
"By the way, 987654320."
Scrubs
"- My Social Security number. - No. That's your PIN number."
Scrubs
"- No, my PIN number is 3674. - Bingo."
Scrubs
"No, it does not."
Scrubs
"Ed, did you turn on the jets in the hot tub?"
Scrubs
"- No. - It's too hot on my eyes!"
Scrubs
"I still would've picked you to crap on."
Scrubs
"In the meantime, be a doll and re-suture that wound."
Scrubs
"And while we're coming completely clean, Perry,"
Scrubs
"- You're making jokes? - I just want this to be OK."
Scrubs
"But as far as you and I go..."
Scrubs
"- So you boys are doctors, huh? - OK, whoa, Frannie."
Scrubs
"- You guys have to go to work? - No, it's just a stupid intern."
Scrubs
"Plus, the two guys on call"
Scrubs
"Hey, Betty, Wilma. What the hell? You're only 40 minutes late."
Scrubs
"- Do I smell beer? - We had a few."
Scrubs
"Newsflash: you can't drink and then come to work."
Scrubs
"is there any way that I could have any less respect"
Scrubs
"Lo and behold, you pulled it off. Congratulations."
Scrubs
"so instead you'll have to settle"
Scrubs
"Wait up, I've got my heels on."
Scrubs
"Hey, Food Stamps."
Scrubs
"from a guy who makes a little more scratch than you."
Scrubs
"Too mean."
Scrubs
"Jordan, could you just give me ten seconds to myself here?"
Scrubs
"Dr Cox, I'm so glad you're here."
Scrubs
"Dr Kelso's been torturing me lately."
Scrubs
"I thought I could handle it. I've come a long way."
Scrubs
"not like the season, like the inside of a mattress."
Scrubs
"I don't have any clue what you mean."
Scrubs
"and I don't think I can take it anymore."
Scrubs
"Thanks a lot... really."
Scrubs
"Oh, Schmitty."
Scrubs
"Typical Spence."
Scrubs
"Hey, I have a presentation on Thursday."
Scrubs
"The truth is, you've been complaining about work"
Scrubs
"Every time I turn around, Kelso's there."
Scrubs
"to pass the bar exam."
Scrubs
"- Why are you doing this? - I'll tell you why, Perry."
Scrubs
"is an extremely potent diuretic, I realised something."
Scrubs
"an innate desire to help people."
Scrubs
"So it becomes about perseverance."
Scrubs
"And fortitude."
Scrubs
"Sorry you guys can't make the wedding."
Scrubs
"I'm so glad the medication worked."
Scrubs
"Nice call on the anti-seizure medicine."
Scrubs
"Sorry I didn't tell you about the "It's your baby" thing."
Scrubs
"We'll probably talk about that later."
Scrubs
"I was scared."
Scrubs
"I was freaking out, cos I'm confident that I'll be a horrible father."
Scrubs
"You're gonna be a great father."
Scrubs
"but I can't be sure of stuff like that. I haven't done the legwork."
Scrubs
"You're always there when we need you."
Scrubs
"I think you have this fathering thing down."
Scrubs
"Here it comes. Great big tears. Great big crocodile tears."
Scrubs
"If she was your daughter, you'd totally know how to handle it."
Scrubs
"- You're doing fine, Barbie. - Thank you."
Scrubs
"I'm going home to see my son."
Scrubs
"- 9:30? - That's what I would've said."
Scrubs
"and monitor your arrival times this week. Ted?"
Scrubs
"9.34, 9.39, 9.41, 9.33 and 9.50."
Scrubs
"Here's an idea. What say you stop showing up altogether"
Scrubs
"we'll just have a Bob Kelso cuckoo bird pop out"
Scrubs
"Dr Cox didn't know he was the father of Jordan's baby,"
Scrubs
"- I love you. - I love you."
Scrubs
"As for us, it was the end of our second year,"
Scrubs
"and each day had begun to feel the same."
Scrubs
"After a while, your residency boils down to just a few things."
Scrubs
"Paperwork."
Scrubs
"Acetaminophen for her headache,"
Scrubs
"Paperwork."
Scrubs
"Mind-numbing monotony."
Scrubs
"As for the patients..."
Scrubs
"the pain in your foot isn't responding to pain killers."
Scrubs
"before we consider amputation."
Scrubs
"Good, because I have an audition for Stomp tomorrow."
Scrubs
"Look, just cut the damn thing off, will ya?"
Scrubs
"Spence, was coming to town."
Scrubs
"- No. - Monica Meyer."
Scrubs
"- Leslie Stevens. - Yes!"
Scrubs
"On a pile of coats with hundreds of people around."
Scrubs
"Carla, college wasn't all sex and coats."
Scrubs
"Why don't you just mousse the crap out of it?"
Scrubs
"Straight up."
Scrubs
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