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Clips from The Mindy Project - Hooking Up Is Hard (S01E01)

"Well, my plan was to marry rich"
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"I like sex. Tell me more."
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"maybe you should consider a more,"
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"'Cause I don't want to get murdered, Danny!"
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"That doesn't clarify anything!"
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"I suppose some would call the Dalai Lama a new age weirdo."
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"Yeah, don't "Hi" her."
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"Shall we take our oolong and say so long?"
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"Psst. Shauna."
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"Hmm? I know that you're with officer Stassen right now,"
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"to go apple-picking with. What's wrong with me?"
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"Dr. L, are you thinking about having a one-night stand?"
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"You are too pure to be having"
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"and there's, like, a owl who's the priest."
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"Don't feel bad, Dr. L."
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"About that thing that we were talking about earlier."
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"can be expensive, but then you won't have"
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"No, I'm not talking about that."
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"Oh, sorry."
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"Someone not fictitious."
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"Tomorrow night..."
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"[Bell dings]"
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"that she pulled the fire alarm at the Hillel House."
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"All of a sudden, he starts massaging my shoulders."
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"Oh, and this will drive him crazy."
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"Like I'm his mom?"
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"No, like he's a Christmas present"
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"that you just can't wait to unwrap."
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"I start to unbutton Carl's shirt,"
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"that civil war book gets closed."
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"Hey, less questions, more crunches with your fat asses."
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"Hey, can you please tell me what Danny's apartment is like?"
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"In my mind, it's like a smoky speakeasy"
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"And she's much younger than you."
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"She looks like she could be my daughter,"
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"What they do is they take these classic episodes"
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"I mean, aren't we gonna see a normal play,"
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"like Our Town or Death of a Salesman?"
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"of Death of a Salesman."
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"Did I use ironically correctly?"
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"Okay, we're gonna head out to dinner,"
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"so thanks, guys. Dinner."
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"It's like 7:00. We're gonna eat after."
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"When are we gonna go to bed?"
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"It's really nice meeting you guys."
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"Just a innocent girl on her way"
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"to what she believed would be a harmless one-night stand."
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"the following casting suggestions."
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"who falls in love with me as he pieces together"
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"Okay, so we're just--"
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"Okay."
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"[Jazz music plays]"
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"♪ ♪"
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"You look very nice."
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"Oh, man, they need me at the hospital."
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"Okay, I should probably-- I'm so sorry."
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"I find that those go very well with the vodka."
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"Paperwork in the morning,"
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"had some new consultations midday."
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"Then I wrote a scathing anti-epidural op-ed"
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"for the Detroit Free Press."
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"Are you kidding me?"
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"Doesn't matter."
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"Oh, God."
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"♪ Took my love and I took it down ♪"
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"Deep tissue. Please stop speaking."
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"Help! Help! Please help!"
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"Brendan!"
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"Hey."
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"Okay. This is harder than I thought."
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"Do you need help? No."
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"You sure? Yeah."
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"Yeah, I'll come-- Just let me. Yeah."
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"Wow, my eye."
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"Oh, my God. Are you all right?"
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"What does it look like?"
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"Okay. Here. Just scoot over."
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"Hey, Brendan."
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"We share this space. It's okay."
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"Whoa, nice place."
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"to accept that."
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"I get it."
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"You little knucklehead. Stop it."
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"This isn't even a date."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Like you and train tracks."
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"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your secret is safe with me."
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"Largely because I don't care,"
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"You guys, I am so scared right now."
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"Oh, nice, candy straws. Thanks, doc."
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"It's made of corn syrup,"
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"I was raised eating corn syrup,"
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"and I think I turned out okay."
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"But your children will pay for that."
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"You don't need to worry about my unborn children, weirdo."
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"You have a weird, lame shower,"
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"Hey. Wait. Wait."
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"Oh, God! [Both shout]"
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"Guys. Oh, my God."
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"Okay, Morgan, Morgan, where's your inhaler?"
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"It's empty. It's empty."
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"and asthma, okay?"
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"Let me handle this. Okay?"
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"Describe the quarry."
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"Oh, look, it's-- Denise Richards"
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"comes up to you, and she's wearing a skimpy bikini."
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"What if it's a hidden camera show?"
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"You're surrounded by rock formations"
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"that have existed since the dawn of time."
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"Pre-dawn of time."
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"The night before the dawn of time."
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"I feel safe."
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"We're gonna place the stone in your hand"
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"So I can breathe. Breathe..."
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"He's fine. Doc, real quick."
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"Yeah. This man just saved my life"
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"Let's go."
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"Mindy, was your tryst with Morgan?"
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"What? No."
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"Yes, Danny, you were right."
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