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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S05E05)

"I am freaking out. I don't think I can do this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, look, mistake number one was taking that girl's question."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You don't take questions on the first day. It shows weakness."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mistake number two was you should've hit that."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Dude, your pants were already off,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"you had a classroom full of people to cheer you on"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and you can't knock her up 'cause it's a dream."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Class dismissed."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mistake number three, dude, where was the hat?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Because if you're not going to wear it, I'm taking it back."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I think what Barney's saying is that definitions are important."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You're their teacher, not their friend. - Exactly."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"If people don't know their place, nobody's happy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You have to make things clear. - Run, tell that!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Define the relationship. - Yes! No!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Lily, can't you just let us be happy? - You're not happy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You just think you're happy because you feel happy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- And that's not happy? - Of course not."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You and Robin need to have the talk."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Wow, you can't even think of one. Headlights. Deer."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lily, for the last time,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"things with me and Robin are as good as they can possibly be."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, look, Brad's here."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I've got two tickets to the Rangers-Canucks game tomorrow night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I know you're a hockey fan, so I was thinking..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(STAMMERING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What do I have to do? Put a gun to your head?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Buy you a six-pack? - Come on, Brad, that's..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Wow, there's really six of them."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Uh, but I can't. - Why not? You have a boyfriend?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- No. No, no boyfriend. - BRAD: Great! It's a date."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hey, Barn. - Hey..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: The next night, Robin and Brad went to a hockey game."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're probably wondering why I've been quiet all night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Um..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm gonna come down there and put a slapper right up your beerhole!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Come on!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Not really."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The truth is, I feel kind of weird being out with you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, man."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Is this the talk? - What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, this is good. Let's get it all out of the way."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Robin, I'm looking for something serious. - No, Brad, no, it's..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But before we go any further,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"you should know something about my stuff below the belt."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I was born a little different. - God, no. Brad, no."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- This is about me and Barney. - You and..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Oh! So, you guys are... - Well, we don't know what we are."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I mean, my heart says, "Leap into it." My brain says, "It's a bad idea.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sounds like you guys need to have the talk."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We're not gonna have the talk!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Would you just have the talk, okay?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's a five-minute conversation, and then you get to have sex afterwards."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's great! Back me up, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I don't think the talk is necessary. - (HIGH-PITCHED) What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Thank you, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Because Robin is already his girlfriend."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(HIGH-PITCHED) What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"MacLaren's Bar, four years ago."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Simple, the rules for girls are the same as the rules for Gremlins."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Gremlins? - Gremlins."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Rule number one, never get them wet."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"In other words, don't let her take a shower at your place."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Number two, keep them away from sunlight,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"i.e. don't ever see them during the day."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And rule number three, never feed them after midnight,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"meaning she doesn't sleep over and you don't have breakfast with her."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ever."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What about brunch? Is brunch cool?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, Ted, brunch is not cool."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, new topic. How do I pick a tie?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Simple. Remember in the movie, Predator..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I've done all three of those things with Robin."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Just once, I wish you guys would call me on Tuxedo Night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"time to pucker up for the New York Rangers Kiss Cam!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- CROWD: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! - Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, how about this?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"If you kiss me and you feel bad about it, you're meant to be with Barney."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SIGHS) Why not? Lay it on me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, Brad."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Brad, we can't fight like this all night!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We both got some good shots in. Let's call a truce!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's okay, dude."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I shouldn't go kissing some other guy's girlfriend."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"BARNEY: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Girlfriend? Hey, come on."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- That's putting it a bit strongly. Okay. - A bit strongly. She's not my girlfriend."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah. A girlfriend's a bit much, Brad, okay? We..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, seriously. We're at the point of physical violence."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now, will you please have the talk?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Because of that? Come on. That's my thing."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm always punching guys, girls. I'll punch a baby. I don't care."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: Finally, my first class had arrived."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"For real this time."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I knew I had to make a strong impression. I had thought of everything. Except..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"TED: Wait. Does professor have one "F" or two?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Professor. Professor. They're all staring at me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Professor. I don't know. Just do something!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Two "F's"."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That looks right. I think that's right."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hey, sorry I went a little too far last night. - Look, we've been over this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Unless I say "flügelhorn," you haven't gone too far."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, I meant punching Brad."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Right. Look, don't even worry about it. It's... Oh!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"God. The doorknob's broken off."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We're locked in here. Did you do this?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- No. - Flügelhorn. Did you do this?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Ted, are you out there? - Ted's not here, Robin."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Lily, let us out of here. - I'd be glad to."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Just as soon as you and Barney have the talk."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lily! Come on. Let us out!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No. Sit down, define the relationship,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"write down that definition on a piece of paper,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"slip it under the door and if I like what I read, you can go."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We are not having the talk!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Then you'll die in there."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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