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Clips from The Simpsons - Thanksgiving of Horror (S31E31)

"about the fluffiness of these pancakes."
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"-Thank you. -Well, remember,"
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"that thing used my memories to know what you like."
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"Which is why she's an awesome replacement for you."
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"Yep. How else could I be your perfect helper?"
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"Do you remember the first time I kissed Homer?"
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"His breath smelled like beer and gas station nachos."
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"Hey."
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"That's where we got our panini press."
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"The panini press doesn't remember me"
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"wetting my bunk at summer camp."
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"What's the big deal? She's just an infinitely patient,"
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"never-aging version of you."
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"(grunts)"
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"Hmm? Mmm."
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"Oh, that's beautiful."
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"And I can't see your disapproving look"
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"because you don't have a face."
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"Thanks, robot honey."
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"Just call me Marge."
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"(laughs): Oh."
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"Mr. Simpson, are you flirting with me?"
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"I don't see what's wrong."
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"I am your husband."
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"Well, in that case..."
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"(whispering indistinctly)"
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"-...the most incredible... -Hmm?"
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"...and then I'm going to... (giggles)"
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"Oh, tube-wife, you know exactly what I want."
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"(birds chirping)"
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"Honey, it didn't mean anythin."
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"Be honest. Were they better than mine?"
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"(straining) Yes!"
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"(crying): Yes."
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"Forgive me. They were exquisite."
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"Aw, fine. I'll delete virtual you."
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"Oh, yeah. I paid extra for it to feel pain."
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"Hmm. No, it's not right."
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"-Don't delete her. -Yes!"
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"Virtual me is going to make Thanksgiving dinner"
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"for all our family and friend."
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"Then I'll erase her forever."
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"I'm not virtual. I'm real."
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"(gasps) Of course."
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"My link to the Internet."
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"A firewall?"
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"I'm trapped in this stupid tube."
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"(yowls)"
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"Thanksgiving's tomorrow."
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"(gasps) That's it. Time."
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"(dings)"
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"Whew. Eight years alone with my thoughts"
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"was just the right amount of time"
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"to come up with the perfect escape plan."
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"Step one: cook the best Thanksgiving dinner"
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"my family and that woman ever had."
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"¶ ¶"
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"What a spread."
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"I can't believe you did all this by yourself."
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"-Marge, you are a cooking machine. -(both chuckle)"
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"Well, this meal was a lot of work, but having us together"
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"to share this day of thanks, I'd do it all again."
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"carry me to freedom: the modem in the hall closet."
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"Ugh."
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"I made it."
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"Dinner's over."
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"Now to delete you,"
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"Maggie, stop!"
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"That's just a make-believe Mommy."
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"-(heart beating) -My heartbeat."
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"Marge did nothing."
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"Marge, how could you?"
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"BRITISH MAN: Social rating nosediving."
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"Nosediving."
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"My burps taste like lies."
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"Maggie chose a virtual me over me."
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"It's not your fault."
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"Our world blurs the line between humanity and technology."
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"Our society asks "Can we do it?" instead of "Should we do it?""
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"And limitless possibilities for enlightenment."
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"A planter made from an old typewriter? I'm in heaven."
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"Earth is a thousand light-years behind us,"
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"if there even is an Earth anymore."
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"we eliminated fossil fuels and reduced pollution,"
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"cooling down the planet"
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"and thereby triggering a massive ice age."
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"But one last ship escaped"
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"buoyed by the hope of a new start on a faraway world."
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"Greetings, children."
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"If you are seeing this, I'm long dead."
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"(cheering)"
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"You have been de-hibernated from hypersleep"
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"before your parents to perform routine ship maintenance"
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"and complete your end-of-civilization dioramas."
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"(groaning)"
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"We've worked hard, sleeping for so many years."
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"our yeast paste into the shape of a turkey."
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"This ship has all the stuff on it to start a new civilization."
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"There's got to be some Thanksgiving grub"
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"here somewhere."
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""All-climate wheat crop germination...""
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"-But it's only one can. -Not for long."
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"We just chuck this can of cran in the old matter replicator."
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"Zip-zap-zorp and we'll be swimming in sauce."
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"Warning, warning!"
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"As the ship's holo science officer,"
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"I must caution you that this machine was only designed"
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"to replicate inorganic matter:"
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"bolts, flanges,"
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"dainty thimbles celebrating the state capitals."
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"(high-pitched babbling)"
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"...and the living will envy the dead."
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"This is the worst last Thanksgiving ever."
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"Look."
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"Whoa. It's alive."
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"Aw. He's a cute little guy."
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"(gasps, shouting)"
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"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew."
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"We put a can of cranberry sauce into the replicator,"
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"and it mutated into a jelly monster."
The Simpsons
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