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Clips from NewsRadio - Assistant (S05E05)

"Well, I'm not being kind. I'm-- I'm attracted to Joe."
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"What? Well, listen,"
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"I mean, you both have great qualities."
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"I'm not very comfortable with this."
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"What's up?"
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"Well...I want to date both you guys."
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"Hm?"
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"Could I?"
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"No. No."
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"But if you guys can figure out"
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"call me, okay?"
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"Well..."
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"then I guess you weren't the better man after all."
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"What do you mean?"
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"Yeah? Mr. James gonna rip it out?"
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"Oh."
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"Ah."
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"But I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two."
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"[♪]"
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"Okay. The first order of business"
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"is, uh..."
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"Oh! ...apparently, Max."
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"Thank you. The ladie'' room has a couch in it."
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"Really? Matthew, check this out."
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"Joe, get on the line to the Pentagon."
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"Beth, have the building evacuated."
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"No. Not until my sources told me"
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"It's just not fair."
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"Well, you guys have urinals. We don't have those."
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"Max is right. We should at least have what they have."
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"It's sexual discrimination, I tell you."
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"Thanks. Thanks so much, Dave. Max, I'll get right on it."
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"Hey, guys. I'm sorry."
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"I was to meet my assistant in the lobby,"
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"but she wasn't there."
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"Oh. You know what probably happened?"
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"See, Dave, I was rereading my contract, and it says right here"
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"that I am entitled to an assistant,"
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"You can't have an assistant and a couch."
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"I choose couch."
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"Uh...Foxy Jackson."
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"Obviously, a case of truth in advertising."
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"Okay, just to recap, when you answer the phone, you say:"
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""Good morning, Lisa Miller's desk?""
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"Yes. Actually, why don't you just make it, uh,"
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"Lisa Miller's office?"
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"Uh...I don't know if I feel comfortable lying like that."
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"I know. You're right. I'm sorry."
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"Um, if you don't mind my asking, what kind of a name is Foxy?"
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"Well, I-- I grew up on a farm."
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"the hen house to steal eggs."
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"Like a fox. Oh."
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"What's your real name? Gwathmey."
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"Joe, what are you doing?"
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"Why don't you, uh, fix it over there?"
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"Because the light's better over here."
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"I see. Hey. How you doing?"
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"Please. What a hard-ass, huh?"
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"Joe. Uh, Lisa, no. It's okay."
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"Listen, Joe, this copier doesn't have toner in it, does it?"
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"Well, I'm allergic to toner."
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"Wow. We have so much in common."
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"Sometimes it makes me sneeze a little."
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"It's... Well, actually, it's kind of embarrassing."
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"I present to you the WNYX men's room couch."
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"WNYX men's room couch. What do you think?"
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"It's a little small, huh?"
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"Well, yeah. Yeah, sure. Anyway, I didn't wanna"
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"screw up the feng shui in the room there."
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"So why don't you go ahead and sit down, have a seat."
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"And...check it out."
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"Yeah. I've never seen a couch quite like this."
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"Well, nobody-- And technically, it's not a couch."
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"They put a love seat in the..."
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"Oh, sure. Yeah."
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"Lisa?"
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"No, uh, permission to be excused from the office."
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"Why?"
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"Uh, because Beth gave me some kind of"
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"lifetime ban on the ladies' room."
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"And Mr. James has some construction going on"
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"He's supposed to put in a couch."
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"Yeah, no. I know. He is."
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"But we asked for a more macho couch. Uh-huh."
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"And...that apparently requires men with hard hats and--"
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"Matthew, what are you talking about?"
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"Could you make up your mind? Because I really gotta go here."
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"Okay, you're excused."
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"Thank you."
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"Hey, Matthew. Gotta go."
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"Dave, could you, uh, look out here"
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"and tell me what you see, please?"
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"Mm. Doesn't look like Matthew's gonna make it, does it?"
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"Besides that."
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"Joe hitting on your assistant?"
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"Yes. Ah."
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"Foxy is here to enhance my productivity."
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"Thank you. Foxy, could you come in here for a second?"
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"Sure. What's up?"
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"But that's very sweet of you to ask."
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"thanks for cutting that article out for me."
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"Oh. That was my pleasure, really. Don't worry about that."
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"Oh, Lisa."
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"It's not often you find somebody who has"
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"a passion for tap-dancing. [LAUGHS]"
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"Passion is a curious thing."
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"Foxy, um, I left some notes on my desk."
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"Would you mind running in there and typing them up for me?"
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"[MOUTHS] Ta."
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"Come on. We share a few common interests."
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"Oh, really? Do you mean passions?"
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"Hey. Look. You know, I tried to get you interested"
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"in popular American dance forms a long time ago."
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"Too late now, girl."
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"And, Rusty, really. Really good work on such short notice."
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"Okay, you ready? Are you ready to see the new men's room?"
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"Yes. Yes, sir. Yes."
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"All right, Matthew. Drum roll please."
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"Mr. James, we-- We just asked for a couch."
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"I thought I'd treat you guys a bit."
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