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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Surprise Party (S01E01)

"Hey! Johnny Rose!"
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"How are you?"
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"- I'm good! - Good."
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"- Listen. Need a big favour. - Sure."
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"Saturday is Moira's birthday"
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"and we want to throw her a surprise party."
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"- Oh! - So, we need an excuse to get"
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"Well, dinner at our place. Problem solved."
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"Well... tempting,"
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"You know, black tie."
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"So we're thinking maybe Jocelyn is throwing"
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"her "annual charity fundraiser.""
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"She hasn't mentioned anything to me about it."
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"Well, Johnny, uh..."
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"If she's planning a fundraiser,"
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"I think Jocelyn would mention something about it to her husband."
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"It's not a real fundraiser, Roland."
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"It's just a pretend fundraiser to get Moira out of the house."
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"but she would catch on because it falls on the same night as her birthday,"
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"so she's gotta hear about the fundraiser"
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"from someone who doesn't know it's her birthday."
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"No. I want you to tell her."
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"I know it's her birthday."
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"You only know it's her birthday because I just told you it's her birthday."
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"Moira doesn't know you know it's her birthday."
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"- Roland I won't tell her. - Why would you tell her?"
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"Okay, but now I am worried. I am worried... now."
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"Look, I'm taking Moira out for coffees."
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"And that would be a great time for you to stop by"
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"and drop the information about the fundraiser."
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"Tell me you understand the plan."
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"Jeez! And I don't appreciate being talked to like a child!"
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"Okay, I'm sorry. Roland..."
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"- Well, I'm sorry. It's a little demeaning. - Look, I'm sorry."
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"It's just so important. This is really important."
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"I wanna make sure you understand the plan."
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"Okay! I understand, all right?"
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"- Okay. - I just think it's awfully short notice"
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"to start planning a fundraiser."
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"There is no fundraiser!"
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"- Right. No fundraiser. - It's pretend!"
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"Pretend. It's fun time."
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"So I... am gonna need a lift to Elmdale."
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"What does it look like I'm doing?"
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"I don't know, nothing?"
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"I'm working."
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"that I just can't leave to drive you to Elmdale."
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"Okay... yeah, and I totally respect that."
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"It's just that I found a Ganache Torte in Elmdale"
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"and I really need to pick it up before my mom's birthday thing, so..."
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"I work until six."
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"Okay, but like is anyone checking in this afternoon?"
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"Um... is there something going on?"
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"You could always just hitch-hike?"
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"And wake up chained to a pole in a trucker's basement?"
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"- Not today. - Well, I'm working... At my job,"
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"so I can't just up and leave because you want cake."
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"Okay. Well, when you put it like that,"
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"it makes me sound ridiculous..."
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"For your services this afternoon."
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"Hey! Hey... sorry I'm late, Johnny."
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"Had a little memorizing... To do."
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"I'm here to personally invite the two of you"
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"to, um, a um... annual, um, elegant dress-up event"
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"that Jocelyn is hosting."
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"but I'm saying we're... We'll see each other there..."
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"At the very big event that Jocelyn is hosting."
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"The whole town will go to this event."
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"Did I... did I say that it's a fundraiser?"
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"Oh, sorry, Johnny. Let me start over here."
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"Why are you apologizing to me?"
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"You don't have to apologize to me."
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"No, no. It's a fundraiser for the thing with the..."
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"The-with the mouth... Uh, cleft palates,"
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"and um... Joc' does it every year..."
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"We're-we're... Probably just gonna be"
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"hanging around the... motel on Saturday, you know."
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"Yeah, no, I'm sure. It's uh..."
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"Hard to look at those kids and all that, I get it."
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"But you know what? We'll dress them up too."
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"Put us down for four tickets."
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"Really. Oh yes, it's the least we can do"
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"to support Jocelyn's philanthropic endeavours."
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"Oh! Okay."
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"Well, I'm sure Jocelyn would really appreciate it."
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"You're welcome."
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"Okay, thank you."
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"Okay. So I guess I'll see you soon then, Johnny."
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"Yeah... bye-bye."
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"Yes, goodbye, Johnny."
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"Ugh! Could you be going any faster?"
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"Um... so we're planning this surprise for my mom"
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"and I'm supposed to ask you if we can borrow your barn."
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"But if you can't take the night off from bedding women,"
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"I totally... understand."
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"Well, who says I can't do both?"
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"You had a bug in your hair."
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"Oh. Ew!"
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"- Jocelyn! - Moira, hi!"
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"Jocelyn, I'm so glad I've run into you."
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"Roland was mentioning your fundraiser earlier today"
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"My what?"
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"Your annual fundraiser for the children with troubled mouths."
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"Oh, right. Yes. It's gonna be q-quite a night."
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"As I'm sure you know, I was on the board"
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"of some of the most profitable not-profits,"
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"from San Francisco to London."
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"And after speaking with Roland,"
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"I realized I was remiss not to gift you"
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"with my wealth of experience."
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"Wow! That's very generous of you, Moira."
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"I was gonna ask you, but I didn't wanna impose."
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"Jocelyn, you must stop being intimidated by me."
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"- Thank you? - There you go! My pleasure!"
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"What do you mean, you didn't get the cake?"
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"The only Chocolate Ganache cake I could find, was in Elmdale,"
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"because I think she's going through something right now. Moira: David!"
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"I don't know. Something with her body."
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"David, I need you."
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"I was speaking to Jocelyn about this fundraiser she's apparently organizing..."
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